I spent a few solemn minutes with a Samson brother Friday, (6/5). The occasion was somber and intensely bittersweet yet also somewhat reunion-like and nostalgic. It had been many years since he and I had seen each other. Nonetheless, the time spent in the recovery trenches, all those years ago, instantly erased the gap / interim between then and Friday afternoon.
This Samson brother was freshly divorced when I met him at First Baptist Church Jackson's Summit Counseling (Wednesday night Samson Society meeting) in August 2014. He'd been one of the founding members of that group, and from there served as the official missionary therein. So many men stepped foot into recovery due to his mission. For he wholeheartedly believed in Samson Society + loved men.
The passion extended not only towards the group itself but to his Silas. Oh, how he loved his Silas (& vice versa). These two spent as much time together as humanly possible. And what was curious to me was his Silas struggled immensely with homosexual desires, yet this made not one iota of difference within this man's eyes.
At first (for me), due to the utter newness of Samson Society as a whole along with my own personal trauma / PTSD, I wasn't able to truly see the complex nature (emotional / spiritual maturity) of this man, but once I began to get a foothold on that post-job loss wounding, each week, I took note of his massively influential amplitude more and more.
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My first Silas relationship came about with this man present. We were at a local restaurant (meeting after the meeting) with just the three of us left. My (soon to be) Silas nervously took the initiative to ask me that simple question, "Would you be willing to be my Silas?", and I replied with "only if you'll be mine in turn". Thankfully, he agreed. I was so glad this man was there to bear witness. I vividly recall him sitting there silently with that beautiful smile beaming.
Over time, it became more and more apparent that my role as this man's Silas would inevitably be truncated, and much of this insight was a result of my deep respect for this (at the time) aforementioned third wheel.
This man simply loves men with his whole heart whilst not asking for anything in return. And it wasn't / isn't every man (which would have been impossible not to mention disingenuous) but those who he gravitated toward in line with his own intellect / personality / demographic.
That being said, he savored rich dialogue (no matter the man), most of it spent either stationary or whilst collaboratively fabricating something within his shop.
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Of note is that first (model?) Silas relationship (between him and the SSA brother) of his ended explosively, and even in that, he modeled for Rob (& so many others) how to respectfully back away when those unfortunate schisms occur.
When I truly consider his influence within this community, I have to admit that I doubt I would have become the Samson zealot I did were it not for his reliable, curiously excited presence. For he was / is such the natural, making the experience of attending meeting / after-meetings look so very respectable and fortuitous.
In the end, it was (& still is) his love for men that sets him apart. What a blessing it is to call him (still) a friend. I sure hope I get to spend some more time with him soon. Just under less macabre circumstances.
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