There're two parts to properly answering this question.
1. You must have a strong backbone. Specifically, you're going to encounter all manner of men. With stories & personalities that run the gamut. Over time, you're going to suspect that some of these men aren't part of this community in regard to their recovery. And it's those that, once you realize this, can truly wear you down / get on your last nerve. Some of them wear a "recovery persona" (during meetings, in particular) that they use to qualify their presence because they're conscientious to their true intentions (otherwise they'd be mentally ill).
Samson Society is free / open to the public, therefore all manner of men gravitates to it (in line with their specific "interpersonal crisis" / needs). Considering the virtual meetings, it's even more of a free for all. And, I would argue, that much more "socially fluid". In other words, it's very easy to disguise oneself when you only truly exist within a thumbnail window / within a private chat network like Slack.
As such, keep in mind, this ain't no private, members-only Country Club. & it absolutely shouldn't be. This is one of the primary reasons I've invested of myself herein for as long as I have.
A quick tale: My wife and I are Presbyterian. There're numerous reasons for that, but one minute one is Presbyterians tend to not be crazy-ass or dumbasses (low intelligence). Earlier this year, a crazy couple showed up to our church (there're A LOT of crazy-ass / dumbass people in MS) and immediately began annoying the heck (accosting) out of anyone they were successful in making eye contact with. Eventually, they drifted away from the church as more and more Presbyterians would bolt whilst seeing them coming their way.
Samson Society has its proportional share (miniscule minority) of these folks. And it should. It's not a church (& certainly not a Presbyterian one). As such, you must learn to filter through these encounters whilst keeping a high-altitude / overarching perspective. In kind, you're going to need to brush past the tangential skirmishes that these men tend to provoke within the community itself (whilst absolutely refusing to get involved / passing judgement).
Another hint that works wonders for me:
Focus, focus, focus on the motive behind why you're truly here. And this leads me to point #2.
2. You must be a men's minister at heart. Firstly, for yourself and then for others. So, what does it mean to be a men's minister?
You must have a specific curiosity towards men that drives you forward. All manner of men (including the crazies). Young, middle-aged, old. Every demographic, race / creed and sexual orientation. As such, this curiosity will provide a never-ending drive towards discovering / engaging with men as Jesus exemplified within the gospels and as scripture alludes to as a whole.
And you do this firstly FOR YOURSELF and your own recovery. Not to make lifelong friends or to pad your resume.
Men's ministers feed off other men, and in turn, they're shored up / buttressed in kind. How?
I find that first & foremost, it happens by forcing me out of my own head. Thereby, by marinating on other needs / stories, I can best manage my own (forced perspective).
Is there anyone on planet Earth who's more "upstairs" than Rob? I doubt it. Blame it on me being an only child, I suppose. Each & every time, via my intentionality, Samson Society provides the opportunity for me to step out of the attic and into the sunlight.
In closing, Jesus made a point to tolerate the Judases and Peters, "sons of thunder" and so forth. And he did this without driving wedges / tipping his hand as to what his true feelings were for any and all individuals within that motley crue. Sure, he had his favorites, but those feelings were likely mutual.
In the end, he loved these men as the ultimate men's minister! Therefore, it's his example that we should follow as we continued forward along The Path.
Stay committed men. Samson Society needs your tenure.
