Marriage, according to Scripture, is about melding two individuals together. Of course, intercourse is a beautiful picture of this, but there's more to it besides what occurs within the marriage bed.
A close Samson friend of mine carries a cellphone provided to him by his employer. This phone is his sole pocket computer, choosing to not supplement it with a personal one. He shared with me that he was having some issues with the cellphone, therefore he sat down with his employer's I.T. personnel for help.
The I.T. staffer asked him why he had an app on the phone titled "Covenant Eyes" which had been given electronic permission to generate a VPN (Virtual Private Network). He replied by telling his colleague that the app was there to serve as a sentinel program, monitoring all of his browsing activity in order to generate weekly content reports that were emailed to his wife / accountability partners.
The I.T. staffer responded by asking my friend, why would you allow that?
Smut is consumed primarily via the World Wide Web, and arguably, the most convenient means to do so is via pocket computers because it's a battery-powered window that you can use wherever you have a cellular / WiFi connection. Therefore, if you're looking to identify the soft underbelly of a man's smut conduits, his pocket computer is it.
So, back to my friend's colleague's question, why would you allow that?
For the same reason (within a marriage) you put a joint checking account in place rather than having individual ones. For the same reason you share a home, and a bed, and rear children together.
Consuming smut impacts marriage. If it's being done behind a spouse's back, I would argue the impact is amplified.
This is no different than consuming smut at home via Pay-Per-View through the cable system prior to paying the monthly bill discreetly, or hiring prostitutes to have sex with you and paying them with cash that's unaccounted for within your marriage.
-------------------------
My wife is a CPA who owns her own firm which she runs out of our home. Over the past 5 to 6 months, she's been inundated with work. Literally, she's at it day and night, nonstop. Therefore, considering my workload (+/-40 hours per week), I gladly do what I can at home to keep our household in order. Thankfully, our house isn't sizable, and our daughters are old enough to help out tremendously, but there's still an awful lot of yard and house work, not to mention food prep that I must stay in front of. This setup frustrates Angie because she feels constrained by her workload, and at times even despondent over how demanding it is.
For me, as a 46 year old husband, I'm fine with it, even taking it on as a challenge. But, I can tell you that were I 28 and newly married, it would be a different story altogether.
Look back at the title to this blog post and notice the words "Shall Become".
This implies process. And process takes time coupled with supernatural effort.
For my young friend to yield as he did to this process so early on in his marriage is remarkably mature, but arguably much more difficult to execute due to his youth.
Covenant Eyes is a wonderful resource for merging ones into two. Consider using it today, and go about doing whatever you can to promote this "Shall Becoming" within your marriage.
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
The Business of Hustling Lust
I saw something today that took me aback.
Throughout my life, I've taken note of Pentecostal women that reside here in Mississippi. They're easy to spot with their long, closely hemmed skirts, no cosmetics, and hair drawn up into a mound on top of their heads. These women are part of a faith that puts a great deal of stock in women looking a certain way, therefore you'll never see them with short haircuts or slacks, much less shorts.
I recall working with a teenage girl in high school who was Pentecostal. The uniform that we were required to wear worked for her except for the slacks. Therefore, she simply wore a long khacki skirt. As a teenage Pentecostal, she did wear her long, curly hair down. And man, did she have beautiful hair!
Today, whilst sitting in McDonald's eating my yogurt parfait, I saw a clearly Pentecostal woman step outside and light up a cigarette. She smoked it right outside the restaurant for about 3 minutes prior to coming back in.
It was surreal. The only thing more bizarre than this would have been observing her light up a joint.
--------------------------
Take a look at this video from ABC news.
Now you know why Samson Society exists. The business of lust, thanks to digital media, is a money making machine. There's no consideration for collateral damage whatsoever. It's an industry built on exploiting technology and free speech rights in order to cast as wide a net as possible.
Samson Society is here to help you get untangled, once and for all.
Throughout my life, I've taken note of Pentecostal women that reside here in Mississippi. They're easy to spot with their long, closely hemmed skirts, no cosmetics, and hair drawn up into a mound on top of their heads. These women are part of a faith that puts a great deal of stock in women looking a certain way, therefore you'll never see them with short haircuts or slacks, much less shorts.
I recall working with a teenage girl in high school who was Pentecostal. The uniform that we were required to wear worked for her except for the slacks. Therefore, she simply wore a long khacki skirt. As a teenage Pentecostal, she did wear her long, curly hair down. And man, did she have beautiful hair!
Today, whilst sitting in McDonald's eating my yogurt parfait, I saw a clearly Pentecostal woman step outside and light up a cigarette. She smoked it right outside the restaurant for about 3 minutes prior to coming back in.
It was surreal. The only thing more bizarre than this would have been observing her light up a joint.
--------------------------
Take a look at this video from ABC news.
Now you know why Samson Society exists. The business of lust, thanks to digital media, is a money making machine. There's no consideration for collateral damage whatsoever. It's an industry built on exploiting technology and free speech rights in order to cast as wide a net as possible.
Samson Society is here to help you get untangled, once and for all.
Saturday, May 4, 2019
Dirtclod War / The Air of Respect
When I was in middle school, I attended a winter youth (weekend) retreat at a local state park. It had been organized by our church's youth ministry, and taking Mississippi's unpredictable weather into consideration, it wasn't necessarily too cold to spend some of that time out of doors. I remember basking in the winter sunshine that Saturday afternoon with my friends. As the clouds parted, you could see clearly through the bare tree branches all the way to the sky. A group of 6 to 8 of us boys made our way through the woods 'till we found ourselves just far enough away from the camp buildings to do our own thing.
One of the boys within our group wasn't at all a regular attendee of youth activities. I didn't exactly know why but in looking back, I recall that his parents were missionaries overseas, therefore he was likely only with us during this weekend due to their recent furlough. Missionary Boy was considerably taller than the rest of us middle schoolers. Plus, he just seemed anxious to prove himself.
From what I recall, I either helped start or solely initiated a dirtclod war by lobbing a dirtclod towards our now somewhat bisected group. It wasn't like I had any experience with dirtclods, but nonetheless, it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
By this point, our two teams were a considerable distance apart, spread out amongst the trees / dirt mounds. I have no idea why there were mounds of earth where we were, but as you can imagine, that was our source for clods - some of which were as big as softballs - and similarly as hard.
Looking back on this game, I'm none too surprised at my / our stupidity here, but you need to know that I'm an only child, therefore I'd had little opportunity to do stupid with other boys - at least in such a capacity to have learned from it.
Within the first five minutes of our game, out of the blue, I felt the impact of what felt like a sledgehammer up against my skull. Immediately, I put my hand to my forehead and felt the massive goose egg rise from the surface in response. All around me, dirtclods were continuing to fly, but all I could think about was
1. Having to endure the remainder of the retreat with this huge knot visible on my forehead.
2. Whether or not I would suffer permanent brain damage.
3. Whom might be the culprit of this potentially "life-threatening" injury.
At that moment, I identified the culprit. It was Missionary Boy. He was whooping and hollering in delight over his success in striking me like Goliath. From there, I looked down at the ground and recognized the dirtclod that had struck me. Immediately I regretted initiating this stupid game.
In response to my head injury, I stormed away from the group, making my way back to the camp buildings. Both concerns 1 and 2 now took priority over 3. Needless to say, I felt on the surface quite the victim here, especially considering the fact that my assailant was a newcomer, but deep down, I knew I had been at no less risk by taking part.
Eventually, in disgust, I finagled a means to make a discreet exit that afternoon back to our church in Jackson, wanting only to hide my face in shame from anyone within the youth group.
That goose egg remained for a number of days, and my disdain for Missionary Boy carried through for years afterwards.
-------------------------
Bringing a group of men together can elicit the risk of someone getting hurt by cross talk. At times, it can become almost challenging in itself as posturing inevitably occurs and words fly. And, with the right aim, words can make such an impact that men choose then inwardly to back out from the collective completely.
Samson Society meetings bring all sorts of men together. Oftentimes, they only interact once a week in person, therefore it's vital that crosstalk not be allowed. This rule does makes the meeting feel clinical, but without it, there's too much risk. Too, forcing men collectively to apportion an allotted amount of time for each to speak provides order and order brings an air of respectfulness. And respect is our end goal.
Men who come to take part in Samson Society meetings are doing so for their own good. The format is such that there's minimal risk that someone gets hit in the head by a dirtclod. That being said, it does still occur at times, but usually moreso during the after meeting if anywhere at all. To some degree, it's always best to keep one's head down a little, at least 'till you've identified the inevitable Missionary Boy.
One of the boys within our group wasn't at all a regular attendee of youth activities. I didn't exactly know why but in looking back, I recall that his parents were missionaries overseas, therefore he was likely only with us during this weekend due to their recent furlough. Missionary Boy was considerably taller than the rest of us middle schoolers. Plus, he just seemed anxious to prove himself.
From what I recall, I either helped start or solely initiated a dirtclod war by lobbing a dirtclod towards our now somewhat bisected group. It wasn't like I had any experience with dirtclods, but nonetheless, it seemed like the thing to do at the time.
By this point, our two teams were a considerable distance apart, spread out amongst the trees / dirt mounds. I have no idea why there were mounds of earth where we were, but as you can imagine, that was our source for clods - some of which were as big as softballs - and similarly as hard.
Looking back on this game, I'm none too surprised at my / our stupidity here, but you need to know that I'm an only child, therefore I'd had little opportunity to do stupid with other boys - at least in such a capacity to have learned from it.
Within the first five minutes of our game, out of the blue, I felt the impact of what felt like a sledgehammer up against my skull. Immediately, I put my hand to my forehead and felt the massive goose egg rise from the surface in response. All around me, dirtclods were continuing to fly, but all I could think about was
1. Having to endure the remainder of the retreat with this huge knot visible on my forehead.
2. Whether or not I would suffer permanent brain damage.
3. Whom might be the culprit of this potentially "life-threatening" injury.
At that moment, I identified the culprit. It was Missionary Boy. He was whooping and hollering in delight over his success in striking me like Goliath. From there, I looked down at the ground and recognized the dirtclod that had struck me. Immediately I regretted initiating this stupid game.
In response to my head injury, I stormed away from the group, making my way back to the camp buildings. Both concerns 1 and 2 now took priority over 3. Needless to say, I felt on the surface quite the victim here, especially considering the fact that my assailant was a newcomer, but deep down, I knew I had been at no less risk by taking part.
Eventually, in disgust, I finagled a means to make a discreet exit that afternoon back to our church in Jackson, wanting only to hide my face in shame from anyone within the youth group.
That goose egg remained for a number of days, and my disdain for Missionary Boy carried through for years afterwards.
-------------------------
Bringing a group of men together can elicit the risk of someone getting hurt by cross talk. At times, it can become almost challenging in itself as posturing inevitably occurs and words fly. And, with the right aim, words can make such an impact that men choose then inwardly to back out from the collective completely.
Samson Society meetings bring all sorts of men together. Oftentimes, they only interact once a week in person, therefore it's vital that crosstalk not be allowed. This rule does makes the meeting feel clinical, but without it, there's too much risk. Too, forcing men collectively to apportion an allotted amount of time for each to speak provides order and order brings an air of respectfulness. And respect is our end goal.
Men who come to take part in Samson Society meetings are doing so for their own good. The format is such that there's minimal risk that someone gets hit in the head by a dirtclod. That being said, it does still occur at times, but usually moreso during the after meeting if anywhere at all. To some degree, it's always best to keep one's head down a little, at least 'till you've identified the inevitable Missionary Boy.
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
What role should the Christian church play within a man's life?
This question begs another question. That being, why are there so many varieties of Christian churches?
Men come in all varieties, each having distinct personas and temperaments, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc. For a Christian man to make a church his own, he must be able to find his place there, and subsequently feel as if he belongs.
So back to the original question.
What role should the Christian church play within a man's life?
Belonging syncs up precisely with community. Therefore, the answer to the original question is centered there. The Christian church he's a member of is a community of his own.
You might argue that beliefs should supercede community, but I would argue that beliefs don't motivate men to invest in their church. It might get them there on Christmas and Easter to take communion, but that's an altogether different relationship.
What I'm referring to here is a weekly attender. A man who brings himself and his family week after week. Therefore, he's at least enduring a service every 7 days and perhaps also attending some mid-week gatherings. In other words, he's hearing the gospel message and hopefully being provoked to commiserate his life towards it.
There are 5 Samson Society meetings in the metro Jackson area. These are exclusive to men, and each is hosted by a Christian church. Therefore, these churches are catering to men who look to / elevate authentic Christian community as important to them.
I think that is awesome!
I'm so proud of Jackson, MS and so thankful for these churches.
Men come in all varieties, each having distinct personas and temperaments, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc. For a Christian man to make a church his own, he must be able to find his place there, and subsequently feel as if he belongs.
So back to the original question.
What role should the Christian church play within a man's life?
Belonging syncs up precisely with community. Therefore, the answer to the original question is centered there. The Christian church he's a member of is a community of his own.
You might argue that beliefs should supercede community, but I would argue that beliefs don't motivate men to invest in their church. It might get them there on Christmas and Easter to take communion, but that's an altogether different relationship.
What I'm referring to here is a weekly attender. A man who brings himself and his family week after week. Therefore, he's at least enduring a service every 7 days and perhaps also attending some mid-week gatherings. In other words, he's hearing the gospel message and hopefully being provoked to commiserate his life towards it.
There are 5 Samson Society meetings in the metro Jackson area. These are exclusive to men, and each is hosted by a Christian church. Therefore, these churches are catering to men who look to / elevate authentic Christian community as important to them.
I think that is awesome!
I'm so proud of Jackson, MS and so thankful for these churches.
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Embrace awkward / This is not a fraternity
There's likely never going to be any career building connections within Samson Society because the group of men you will find yourself rubbing shoulders with weekly aren't there to further their ambitions, nor are they there to serve their community or church through that particular venue. It's simply not opportunistic in that regard.
Samson Society is about brokenness. It's men who've often times been crushed by life's circumstances, therefore despite their attempts to fulfill their emotional needs through other means, they've been unsuccessful and from there, their lives have suffered.
Men coming together and admitting that they need a place to be authentic - for at least a few hours a week - results in some very nontraditional dialogue / vibes. And within that setting, everything's kept within strictest confidence.
It may sound like a company of Christian men who are simply the outcasts of the church. Perhaps those who simply can't seem to "fit in" within the traditional setting.
And perhaps there's some truth to that statement.
Nonetheless, every man needs to find his place. Whether it's Samson Society, Sunday School, or Rotary Club, know that you were not created to follow Christ outside of some semblance of community. Community that works to challenge and accept you fully - each time you walk through the door.
Samson Society is about brokenness. It's men who've often times been crushed by life's circumstances, therefore despite their attempts to fulfill their emotional needs through other means, they've been unsuccessful and from there, their lives have suffered.
Men coming together and admitting that they need a place to be authentic - for at least a few hours a week - results in some very nontraditional dialogue / vibes. And within that setting, everything's kept within strictest confidence.
It may sound like a company of Christian men who are simply the outcasts of the church. Perhaps those who simply can't seem to "fit in" within the traditional setting.
And perhaps there's some truth to that statement.
Nonetheless, every man needs to find his place. Whether it's Samson Society, Sunday School, or Rotary Club, know that you were not created to follow Christ outside of some semblance of community. Community that works to challenge and accept you fully - each time you walk through the door.
Thursday, April 25, 2019
Twilight Sentinel / The Gifting of Stupid
Back in the late '80s, early '90s, I recall walking into a strip mall retail store after dark. As I was stepping up to the curb, I took note of an illegally parked luxury sedan that had just been vacated by a middle-aged woman who was also walking inside. The car was parked in the fire zone, parallel to the row after row of stores. It was a huge sedan covered in glitzy chrome with two-tone paint (and probably a vinyl top).
But what also caught my eye was the fact that the halogen headlights were still on despite the fact that the car was now empty. Instinctively, I paused before calling out to the driver, who now was just 10 feet or so in front of me.
"Did you realize you left your headlights on?", I asked.
She replied with a wry smile. "They'll turn themselves off."
I was speechless.
-------------------------
Luxury is defined by being pampered. Pampered is having someone or something proactively enact comfort / pleasure on your behalf. Novelty is often tied to this type of pleasure. Illusion and novelty go hand in hand.
Men know what they desire in luxury. The luxuries of this life / culture are elevated & celebrated, marketed & easily identifiable. So effectively in fact that their actual definition has become confused with their antecedent. That being needs.
Automobiles need switches to turn headlights on & off. It is a luxury to have that switch function automatically based on the degree of ambient light out of doors, but coming alongside this luxury is no doubt a loss of control or some level of disconnect between the driver and the automobile.
That disconnect, one can argue, frees up brain power / time for something else to focus on. Even if it's just a few seconds gained, it's still a gain. Plus, what if the driver were to forget to turn off their headlights after parking? Perhaps a dead battery would await them upon their return. But at the same time, what's actually lost when one turns control over to automated tech, and how much of that compromise is fueled by pursuing the status quo? In other words, are we actually relinquishing manual control whilst also embracing stupid (stupid is a verb)?
The Bible identifies man as not unlike sheep. Sheep are gifted in stupidity.
-------------------------
Today, almost everyone is to some degree or another disconnected more and more from face to face relations, and this is especially the result of the epidemic that is social media. Social media is a luxury to the nth degree because it implies efficient technological connection when there's really none at all. It's like never actually reading the Bible but instead having someone provide you endless commentary on each of the 66 books sans any direct quotes. Depending on who the commentator(s) is, the level of entertainment can be fairly high, but again that harkens back to this being a luxury (novel) experience versus one that's hard-wired between two people.
I am so grateful to not have been reared during the rise of social media because I find that men who were have quite the difficult time seeing it for what it truly is.
Samson Society meets my need for face to face connection. At least once a week, I can look my brothers in the eye and talk. And there's no publicly traded company involved whatsoever. If you're also looking for that, come join us! Your experience there will leave you anything but speechless.
But what also caught my eye was the fact that the halogen headlights were still on despite the fact that the car was now empty. Instinctively, I paused before calling out to the driver, who now was just 10 feet or so in front of me.
"Did you realize you left your headlights on?", I asked.
She replied with a wry smile. "They'll turn themselves off."
I was speechless.
-------------------------
Luxury is defined by being pampered. Pampered is having someone or something proactively enact comfort / pleasure on your behalf. Novelty is often tied to this type of pleasure. Illusion and novelty go hand in hand.
Men know what they desire in luxury. The luxuries of this life / culture are elevated & celebrated, marketed & easily identifiable. So effectively in fact that their actual definition has become confused with their antecedent. That being needs.
Automobiles need switches to turn headlights on & off. It is a luxury to have that switch function automatically based on the degree of ambient light out of doors, but coming alongside this luxury is no doubt a loss of control or some level of disconnect between the driver and the automobile.
That disconnect, one can argue, frees up brain power / time for something else to focus on. Even if it's just a few seconds gained, it's still a gain. Plus, what if the driver were to forget to turn off their headlights after parking? Perhaps a dead battery would await them upon their return. But at the same time, what's actually lost when one turns control over to automated tech, and how much of that compromise is fueled by pursuing the status quo? In other words, are we actually relinquishing manual control whilst also embracing stupid (stupid is a verb)?
The Bible identifies man as not unlike sheep. Sheep are gifted in stupidity.
-------------------------
Today, almost everyone is to some degree or another disconnected more and more from face to face relations, and this is especially the result of the epidemic that is social media. Social media is a luxury to the nth degree because it implies efficient technological connection when there's really none at all. It's like never actually reading the Bible but instead having someone provide you endless commentary on each of the 66 books sans any direct quotes. Depending on who the commentator(s) is, the level of entertainment can be fairly high, but again that harkens back to this being a luxury (novel) experience versus one that's hard-wired between two people.
I am so grateful to not have been reared during the rise of social media because I find that men who were have quite the difficult time seeing it for what it truly is.
Samson Society meets my need for face to face connection. At least once a week, I can look my brothers in the eye and talk. And there's no publicly traded company involved whatsoever. If you're also looking for that, come join us! Your experience there will leave you anything but speechless.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Alive to Sin, Dead to Christ / Dead to Sin, Alive to Christ!
Our culture never, ever mentions the "s" word. That being sin. And this is because it's instantly connotative with religion. But, everyone within the human race knows evil exists, therefore they know there's a standard for perfection that's centered in goodness and love which opposes evil (sin).
But still, utilizing the "s" word makes it all so personal and specific, and that's what's simply too uncomfortable for most.
Sin, oftentimes, promotes comfort. There's a self-serving there that falls perfectly in line with our culture of individuality, free enterprise, and customization of everything under the sun. Therefore, it looks absolutely worthwhile to dabble in - at least on occasion. So long as it's not illegal, right?
But then there's the whole notion of consequences that one must deal with after the fact. Those being guilt, shame, mistrust. All these things that are birthed out of the comfort of sinful behavior / thoughts.
Christians are called to not only look different in terms of their behavior but to do so in spite of the discomfort that may come henceforth. Jesus was specific when he spoke to man's priorities as a follower, and he rounded it all off with the truth that it's man's "heart tuning" that truly matters to God.
In other words, God is pleased with men who's hearts are fully aligned towards him due to spiritual rebirth and ongoing sanctification. Sanctification which works to regenerate man's heart towards goodness and love, thereby strengthening his God / others-centeredness all the while.
It's teaching him through faith (imbued by God) to find comfort and satisfaction in God himself, therefore sin clearly becomes something to contend with instead of something to settle into.
I would argue that most men need help once they reach this point - at whatever age they may be. The point of contending with sin is where the real struggle lies. Samson Society is here to help. We're not heavy on doctrine here (we rely on the church for that). What we are about is authentic community that's focused on contention. That ongoing, never ending wrestling with both sin and sinful desires that no man should have to face on his own.
But still, utilizing the "s" word makes it all so personal and specific, and that's what's simply too uncomfortable for most.
Sin, oftentimes, promotes comfort. There's a self-serving there that falls perfectly in line with our culture of individuality, free enterprise, and customization of everything under the sun. Therefore, it looks absolutely worthwhile to dabble in - at least on occasion. So long as it's not illegal, right?
But then there's the whole notion of consequences that one must deal with after the fact. Those being guilt, shame, mistrust. All these things that are birthed out of the comfort of sinful behavior / thoughts.
Christians are called to not only look different in terms of their behavior but to do so in spite of the discomfort that may come henceforth. Jesus was specific when he spoke to man's priorities as a follower, and he rounded it all off with the truth that it's man's "heart tuning" that truly matters to God.
In other words, God is pleased with men who's hearts are fully aligned towards him due to spiritual rebirth and ongoing sanctification. Sanctification which works to regenerate man's heart towards goodness and love, thereby strengthening his God / others-centeredness all the while.
It's teaching him through faith (imbued by God) to find comfort and satisfaction in God himself, therefore sin clearly becomes something to contend with instead of something to settle into.
I would argue that most men need help once they reach this point - at whatever age they may be. The point of contending with sin is where the real struggle lies. Samson Society is here to help. We're not heavy on doctrine here (we rely on the church for that). What we are about is authentic community that's focused on contention. That ongoing, never ending wrestling with both sin and sinful desires that no man should have to face on his own.
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