"The No Bull Briefing" - October 2022

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING - October 2022

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO REGISTER to Join Us in Eva! We don't want you to miss out on this opportunity to join us the first weekend in November for the national retreat! If you are on the fence about coming, we promise it will be worth the investment of your time and finances. There will be workshops led by your fellow Samson brothers, time for fellowship (and late night conversations) around a campfire, and the ability to leave your masks at home and experience the magic of the Room of Grace. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! All who attend the annual retreat in November will also be the first to hear about our upcoming larger-than-life 2023 Samson Summit featuring a prominent personality. While in Eva, you will have the opportunity to pre-register for the summit at a discounted rate AND receive a free summit t-shirt. This early bird price is only available while you are at the 2022 retreat.  REGISTER Samson's First Annual Serve Day Calling all handymen and not-so-handy men to stay an extra day after the national retreat to participate in our first annual Samson Serve Day! A few improvements are needed before the new Samson House building can welcome its first guests, including interior painting, a bathroom renovation, installation of mini-split AC units, and reconfiguration of the kitchen. Have room in your schedule to stay an extra half-day? Possess skills, tools, muscle, or a positive attitude? We will be sending an email with project needs and a link to sign up to help very soon. All volunteers will be able to stay or camp on property Sunday night, but please recognize the house has no furniture. Virtual Workshop Opportunity In order to experience healing from past wounds - as well as grow and mature into who you were created to be - you have to understand your story. You may have tried many things to find healing - books, conferences, prayer, even therapy - but there's still something missing. What if you engaged your story? What if understanding your past experiences in life - particularly in your family of origin - could help you make sense of why you think, feel, and act the way you do in the present? There is a connection between the past and the present. The good news is that it is possible to make sense of your present life by understanding your past story. By the end of this workshop, you will: understand why exploring your story is essential for healing and growth make linkages between your present life and yoyur past experiences in your family of origin actually do work on your story (during the workshop you will complete two exercises designed to help you make sense of your story). This workshop, featuring Adam Young and Cathy Loerzel, will occur via Zoom on Saturday, November 19, 2022. REGISTER Elijah and the Angel, a Samson By Garry This past Tuesday, my therapist brought up an illustration from the New Testament when an angel ministered to Elijah as he was fleeing Jezebel. As I was processing the scripture, I thought of Jezebel as being the physical representation of evil. As Elijah sought to escape death, he obviously, as the scripture states, grew tired. Physical strength evaded his person, and couldn’t we also say that he was not only starving physically from hunger and strength but also spiritually? If he was anything like me, I wonder why I must be going through the crap being dished upon me. One thing that I connect with here is that I most definitely find myself starving spiritually….not by anyone’s own fault but my own. That leaves me as Elijah…down for the count. Elijah was later awakened by an angel who ministered to him through the provision of food and thought. Just like Elijah, we find ourselves in various life circumstances, some good, some bad, and again like this man, fleeing evil. I know that over the course of my MANY years of life, I have not been fleeing evil, especially over the past 19 month but instead, have been embracing it. I see myself hanging onto the coattails of the shit done to me and that I have done to myself and others….the things that has kept me focused on the destructive and not the healing. In reflecting on this section of scripture, the thought also came to mind that here within Samson, we each hold an incredible opportunity to be figuratively speaking, an angel in a brother’s life. I often stop to mourn the sadness, the what is versus the joy of what can be. In in the wake, my physical, emotional, and spiritual self lays unable to pursue the remainder of the day much less the next day or week. Over the past two years, I have stayed in contact with guys from the Samson family. It is these guys who arrive and render aid to me who like Elijah, finds myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually broken. A phrase speaks volumes to me about the angel, his knowledge of Elijah’s situation when he says, "The journey is too great.” What a compassionate and beautiful thing to express. Not only does the angel say this, but he provides in a mighty way for this man of God. This leaves me with the thought of what I will do for another Samson today that says, “I will not leave your side because the journey is too great for you to do by yourself.” That is what Samsons have done for me. Is that what you will do for another in need? It is okay if today, you are Elijah and need providing for. It is also okay for you to be the angel that ministers to a Samson who is in need. In closing, this morning I sent this reflection to a Samson who lives in Oregon. He in turn, sent this scripture to me, scripture that had been sent to him this morning: “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” Galations 6:2 September 2022 Meeting Host & Sub Winner Thank you Kyle O'Donnell for hosting the Apex Ambassadors in-person meetings! We would like to give you a 25% discount off one item in the Samson merch store as a thank you for donating your time and talents! Please check your email inbox for your discount code. Each month we will draw one name, so be sure to complete the host form online every time you host or sub a meeting to be entered in to the drawing. You receive one entry for each time you host or sub during the month. Regional Retreat Opportunities Planning a regional Samson retreat? Let us know at samsonhouseoffice@gmail.com or drop it on the #upcoming_event channel on Slack so we can help you spread the word! Monthly Resource Corner Each month, Samson Society will promote a resource that you may find helpful on your journey. Feel free to share any podcast episodes, blog posts, books, or documentaries that you find enlightening!  The Daring Ventures At Home Library consists of webinars, lectures, Q&As, downloadable PDF tools, and more. It is growing rapidly, with new resources being added every single month. You'll never miss out on any resource in the digital library as a Full Access Member. Want to learn more about Jake? Check out this recent episode on the Pirate Monk Podcast and search his YouTube channel for short, but informative, videos. Our Annual Matching Gift Fundraiser is Baaaaack! All work and no play makes Samson a dull boy. So give us grace (and come play with us...) as we have a little fun kicking off our annual matching gift fundraiser. Every donation (excluding recurring gifts) made to Samson House between October 1 and the end of the year will be matched dollar-for-dollar by an anonymous donor, up to $50,000. Double your impact and double the reward of partnering with us as we work to rescue families by helping men live in the freedom of authenticity DONATE Connect with us on social media!

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Heart Attacker - The Death Of A "Good Man"

I've written extensively about the emotional trauma / fallout I endured via my termination from Delta State University in September of 2013.  Therein I experienced more pain / suffering than I ever thought imaginable.  All at the hands of an MBA / CPA who I greatly admired as my boss (in spite of his short 7-week up-to-that-point-in-time tenure as such).

Last night, I was aghast whilst stumbling across his online obituary.  It detailed his rich work life, love of the outdoors and the unsettling reality of a surprise heart attack which killed him on the spot a few years back (at his Delta hunting camp).  

Obviously, it had been a long time since I'd taken any time to do any online research on this man's whereabouts / status, and as such, this left me all the more flabbergasted relative to his sudden demise.  For he was only 64, and overall, in good health (he was an avid cyclist).  

Today, my emotions are all over the place regarding this revelation.  For I was expecting to find some mundane press release touting his continued commitment to university administrative work either in Arkansas or Mississippi.  Instead, I come across this unsettling truth.

The man's dead and has been dead for close to two years.

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I was pleased to see Steve's obituary nailing it by paying homage to exactly who I remember him to be.  Towards the end it summarizes by stating that he was the embodiment of a "good man".  I couldn't agree more.

Yet, what of my trauma?  Trauma that manifested itself as a result of this "good man's" words.  Trauma that no one else truly can understand except me and God.  Trauma that brought me closer to suicide than I ever imagined experiencing.

All I know to do with that is write this post in an attempt to begin untying the emotional knot in my chest.  

In closing, Steve took a lot of time with me.  So much so that I could tell he genuinely enjoyed my company.  I vividly remember leaving his office exhausted after one (of many) of our "information transfer" meetings.  We talked about the Delta State University Physical Plant, campus projects in planning and construction as well as my vision for the campuses' future.  

I was amazed at how intentional he was about listening to what I had to say.  Especially as it pertained to him reciprocating with pertinent / insightful questions.  As a result, I became more and more confident in myself each time we met.  In fact, he elevated me to a place of vocational inner resolve / confidence that I'd in no way achieved up to that point (over the course of my prior year as Campus Architect).  

Yet, all of that building up (whether intentional or not) came crashing down via his momentous final adjudication (after extensively researching what entailed of me breaking the institution's IT policy).

"We don't want people like you here."  

Both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are gone and have been gone for a while.  Damn.  I'm speechless.

Could I be experiencing a version of Stockholm Syndrome as a means to continue to cope with my trauma?  

Do I have a trauma bond with a corpse?  If so, how do I break it?

Honoring The Mother Ship's (First Baptist Church Jackson) Cherished '70s / '80s' Pastor - Dr. Frank Pollard - 10/22/78 transcript

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We're Almost At A Fever Pitch

The 2022 National Samson Society retreat is weekend after next in Eva, TN at a Methodist Church conference center.  It's been at this venue for a number of years, and before that, it was at Middle TN state parks (for a couple of years).  The state parks were surprisingly more comfortable facilities (as compared to state parks in MS), but weren't as well suited to our populace.  Specifically, those men who've gained legal status as "Sex Offenders" (a sex offender must keep his physical distance from facilities where children might be residing).

I've attended 5 or 6 National Samson Society retreats over the years, but this one I'm feeling most anticipatory for.  

Firstly, I'm traveling with my Silas via his practically brand-new Subaru.  Now, last year I also rode in a Subie to the retreat, but I wasn't with my Silas.  Part of the significance of this year's trip for me is alone time with the man.  He's only been involved in Samson since April of this year, and I can't wait to travel with him to (his first ever) the retreat.  Of note too is that my Silas is an old friend.  I befriended him when he was in his early 30s (I was in my mid-30s) at Lakeside Pres Church.

Secondly, I've been attending a virtual Samson Society meeting - "Make Thursdays Great Again" - since December of last year.  Mr. Justin Schwind facilitates this virtual meeting.  I'd met Justin at the National Retreat years ago.  This meeting is attended by +/-30 men every Thursday evening at 7 PM CST.  My aforementioned Silas was ushered into this same group in April.  

Taking into consideration the number of these MTGA virtual Samson guys who'll too be at the retreat, it's going to no doubt feel like a reunion / homecoming.  

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This past week I was reminded of the length of time that's past since I've consumed Internet porn.  And when I say consumed, I'm talking about a sizable consuming (over 20 minutes).  Interestingly enough, that date was one Friday night during mid-October of last year.  The very next day, Saturday, was when I attended my last in-person Samson Society meeting here in the Jackson Metro.  From there, I attended the 2021 National Samson Society retreat a few weeks later before jumping into the aforementioned virtual meeting (MTGA) in December.

One of the key components of my continued commitment to Samson Society (as well as my own recovery) is tied to my experiences at the National Retreats.  For each stands out in my mind as a placeholder as the years have passed.  It's important to note that attending the retreats has taken a lot of effort and courage of every man that's made it a priority.  As such, these Samson guys represent the creme de la creme, and that's always been apparent to me each year that I attend.  

As a sidenote, our church, Lakeside Pres, has never attempted to cater / minister to younger / middle-aged men specifically (other than weeklong annual foreign mission trips), but interestingly enough, this fall they'll be hosting their first ever men's dinner.  And, it happens to be scheduled for week after next (just a few days before the 2022 National Retreat).  Our pastor has been touting this dinner from the pulpit, practically pleading with men to sign up to this newfangled happening.

Throughout my life here in the Jackson Metro, I've been hard pressed to find church-centric men's ministries that were taken seriously / effectual.  I've attended a number of church-organized / sponsored men's conferences, a handful of retreats, etc., but none have "hooked" me in like Samson Society.

I believe that has more to do with my wiring as Rob more than anything else, but too, I believe, being here in Mississippi has an awful lot to do with it.

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The men I rub shoulders with at church are far more successful / credentialed than your typical impoverished, uneducated Mississippi man, and this is particularly the case now that we're Presbyterian (the Christian graduate degree denomination).  As such, these men no doubt find so much of their identity encased within this elevated ruse.  Motivating these deacons / elders / parishioners then to actually minister to each other, versus simply going about their mundane churchgoing routine, I find, comes off oftentimes as beneath them to even consider.  For it would require them to step off of their pedestals and serve from their hearts, and this simply doesn't compute (comprehend) for the majority of men within the church (at least the one we attend).  

Instead, they'd rather sit back and "pray for" those who're hurting or simply observe the personal fallout suspectingly.  

In fact, throughout the years we've attended Lakeside Pres, very rarely have I heard our pastor preach about what ministering amongst each other(s) actually should look like or why it's even important.  And that's simply because he has few ideas, having not experienced it / participated therein all that much for himself.

And most pastors / elders / deacons are in the exact same boat.

And not because they're not curious as to the concept of ministering.  No, not at all.  

The root of their uninterest lies beneath all of that.  I like to call it posturing (a mainstay for us men).

Posturing doesn't exist within Samson Society.  At least that I've been witness to.  Instead, it's a horizontal ministry through and through.  And therein lies the problem for a lot of committed, church-going Christian men.  That absence of hierarchy simply terrifies / confuses them.  For you lose an awful lot of your default identity whilst within a horizontal community.  

I heard my hero, Mr. Nate Larkin, say on the latest "Pirate Monk Podcast" that it's best to "lead with weakness".  I love that, but unfortunately, you'll likely never see it within the local church.  

And that, my friends, is why men's ministry that's an offshoot of the church is rarely as effective as a standalone ministry like Samson Society.  Therein (local church), true weakness, confessed openly by parishioners, is often like pissing into the wind.  Yes, your bladder is empty afterward, but from there, you're having to contend with the fact that all of that inner pressure relief is now dripping off your neatly pressed church clothes.  Making for one smelly, humiliated brother in Christ.  

Thanks be to God for Samson Society.  Come relieve yourself with us.  Start by signing up for the 2022 National Retreat today.

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