Friday, February 26, 2021
Sex, Distorted / Elevated To Polarize
During the summer of '94, I backpacked through western Europe with 5 or 6 other individuals, most of which were Mississippi State architecture students (as I was). Being there for 7 weeks, I was fortunate to visit 11 countries with the focus being notable buildings - urban and rural, gardens, etc. I was in my early 20s at the time, and my colleagues were of similar ages. All of us behaved scholarly during the entire trip unlike some of the other college students who were there at the time (per my observations). And I'm not saying that to boast. To be honest, we were just a bunch of geeks who were best suited to keeping our attention on the "tasks at hand".
About halfway through this once-in-a-lifetime trek, we found ourselves staying within a hostel in Austria. I remember the country being Austria because Salzburg is where The Sound of Music was filmed, and I became aware of this whilst staying there (I've never screened the film). It was quite the picturesque country(side).
One of my colleagues bunked with me within a very clean but cramped room with four other young men (also American college students backpacking throughout the summer, though not a part of our group) . The tiny room was just big enough for three bunkbeds and one lavatory (a wall mounted sink). The floor plan of the room was such that it was "two bunkbeds deep" and "three bunkbeds wide" with the middlemost bunk missing if you catch my measurement drift.
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What keeps individuals out of sales is the ever present & quite trepidatious mantra - ACTIVITY, ACTIVITY, ACTIVITY. Sales managers can at times berate their minions accordingly, and for good reason. That being because there's some truth to it. Some.
Mostly though, you either have the knack for sales (and this must be coupled with excellent timing) or you don't. No matter how much ACTIVITY (sales calls) you participate in.
The summer after my freshman year in college, I worked as a new car salesman at Howard Wilson Chrysler Plymouth in Jackson. That two months was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life, and as such, I was only afforded the opportunity because my parents & I had purchased my '91 Plymouth Laser RS from this dealership a few months prior.
What I took away from that summer, working as a car salesman, was the importance a salesman must have of product knowledge - across the board.
Fortunately for me, ever since I was around age 14, I've been a car aficionado, therefore as a new car salesman at age 18, I not only knew the product I was attempting to sell but the competition's product as well. Or at least as well as a teenager could. Comprehensively.
Again, mate that knowledge with great timing, and sales do happen. Almost magically. And that's what can make sales fun and very satisfying to experience because you're not just screwing people over with smoke & mirrors.
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Solo sex (masturbation) is (by default) a hollow, relentlessly self-centered pursuit fueled 99% of the time by sexual fantasy coupled with an active libido. It's an ACTIVITY, ACTIVITY, ACTIVITY that's built primarily on one's "expertise" of the human body driving lust via imaginings. Of course, these fantasies can be carried along much more proficiently thanks to pornographic imagery. Imagery which in no way typically represents any sort of sexual reality (certainly not of a Biblical nature).
Many year ago, I was watching a Geraldo Rivera talk show episode out of sheer boredom. I believe he was interviewing class (school) mates of celebrities, and a handful of these individuals on this particular show had been childhood friends of Madonna. As such, Geraldo queried these guests relentlessly, aching for some dirt on Ms. Ciccone.
No doubt, one of these former friends had tipped off Madonna relative to their appearance on his TV show because seemingly unexpectedly (of course, it could have always been staged), Madonna herself called in to speak to Mr. Rivera.
As you might imagine, she seemd none too pleased with the premise of the show, and in reaction to this, she asked Geraldo the following: "Have you ever had sex with yourself?".
I remember hearing this and feeling polarized if not a bit nauseous. From that point on, I gained an entirely new perspective on Madonna.
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The only time I've ever witnessed live sexual activity was within the aforementioned hostel bunk room there in Salzburg, Austria. And obviously, it wasn't by choice. Yet, as you might imagine, there in the darkness whilst peering across the room (bleary-eyed), I felt polarized as I observed these two lovers perform coitus / cunninlingus like a couple of jack rabbits.
Sexual activity is defined clearly in Scripture as a metaphor. A metaphor which includes Jesus Christ (husband) and his church (wife). So, if we explore that for a moment, we clearly see that intercourse is meant to physically consummate a relationship in marriage.
So, what is marriage and why is sexual activity - today - so polarizing?
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On numerous occasions, I've heard individuals talk through the importance of "test driving" a boy / girlfriend under the guise of sexual proficiency prior to marriage.
As if human beings were like animals and intercourse was simply what you do whilst feeling an erection coming on, or better yet, qualify another human being's worth.
ACTIVITY, ACTIVITY, ACTIVITY. Sound familiar?
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Sex sells merchandise, contracts, real estate, automobiles, entertainment and on and on and on here in our western culture. A titillating advertising campaign / experience is arguably the most effective (low hanging fruit) means to pitch almost anything due to how it builds on foundational distortions. Hands down. As such, we are brainwashed into elevating sex and sexuality to the upper echelon of relevancy / importance within our menial lives (from childhood onward).
Yet, the Bible states that it's best to remain single if you're to most effectively be positioned to execute God's work, putting marriage one notch (if several notches) below bachelorhood.
So that begs the question that I believe needs to be asked once more. What exactly is marriage?
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Marriage is like clothing. Not really necessary but so effective at fleshing out a holistic understanding of ourselves as God's created beings. As such, marriage speaks to our then fully realized identity.
But remaining naked is admirable (according to Scripture). For clothing can certainly embolden us in ways that serve to take our focus from Christ and our relationship with him due to the time / energy required relative to upkeep (of each other / offspring).
And then there's the reality of sex within marriage which runs counter to everything our culture indoctrinates us with 24/7/365.
Sex isn't supposed to be polarizing. It wasn't created to be. It also wasn't created to be elevated as it has as the primary achievable / enviable attribute of every human being.
Car designs might be polarizing or architectural styles but not sex, sexuality.
Madonna Ciccone's entire career is a representation of the distortion that our sexualized culture has embraced. All the material wealth she's obtained is built on a distortion of one of the most overrated / blown out of proportion attributes of marriage.
We need knowledge to gain back the ground that's been lost in this regard. The time is now. Snap out of this ruse; wake up to reality.
Monday, February 22, 2021
Sunday, February 21, 2021
Think Tank
Intelligence is one of those topics that is almost impossible to handle sans offending someone. Therefore, I'm sorry in advance.
Samson Society demands men to be authentic. I would argue, regarding most individuals, that it takes more intellect to be transparent than otherwise. Most importantly, you've got to manage / harness your feelings in order to speak intelligently regarding your authentic self. All manner of feelings. From one end of the spectrum to the other. It seems to me that it's higher brain (executive) function that must be utilized in this regard, unless of course, it's not available to do the work. Otherwise, you're left to rely on what I'll dub here as the "personality veil", and this reeks of anything but authenticity.
Of secondary importance is one's ability via their intellect to articulate who exactly they are to everyone in attendance. I say it's of secondary importance because over time, with enough meetings under a guy's belt, that true persona is going to be clearly seen. It's inevitable. Of course, unless you're dealing with a pathological liar, but let's just assume that isn't the case.
Now, here's an overarching truth. Faith is a gift of God. And Christiandom is built on the notion of having faith as of a little child. Therefore, worship and prayer and even Bible teaching / study can occur seamlessly, so long as there is faith.
But, Samson Society (both meetings and "The Path" friendships) demands more of us than faith.
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Hiding behind a "personality veil" is akin to "going through the motions". I think everyone can relate to that phrase, but I feel as if I need to expound on it here.
When I worked the enjoyable six years for the state of Mississippi, I kept my head down constantly. Rarely did I relinquish this "personality veil" modus operandi, and frankly, I believe this was detrimental to my livelihood during my tenure there. Because the job literally fell into my lap, I felt extremely blessed to have the opportunity. Therefore, not wanting to risk complicating matters in any regard, I simply smiled at the camera, day after day. And it was easy to fall in line in this regard. For many of my fellow bureaucrats behaved exactly the same way.
Eventually, this grew old for I couldn't help but remember what employment was like within the private sector (where there was actually some overarching corporate goal). Particularly as the Lord allowed men into my life who were reliant on me being my authentic self whilst spending time together (friendships that came to fruition outside of work).
When I took the job at Delta State in 2012 (a position which was a natural vocational progression for me), I was on the fence relative to how much of my presented self should then be cloaked in this "personality veil", and over time, during that yearlong endeavor, I definitely began to rely on it less and less. But of course, all of this rich maturation came to a screeching halt when I unexpectedly was fired from this position.
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One of the reasons Angie and I worship at Lakeside Presbyterian Church is due to the fact that it's a reformed church. And reformed churches tend to draw Christians in who're less interested in notoriety relative to church attendance and more interested in sanctification (spiritual growth).
Lakeside is a difficult church to only put one foot into because no one component of the experience is going to suffice. Plus, it's small scale provides few, if any, places to "keep to the shadows".
Therefore, most parishioners of this body of Christ are all in. And as such, they're well served by their intellect as they participate.
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In closing, if you're drawn to communal experience with other Christian men who've the brains to match their courage (in participating), invest in Samson Society.
What you'll find is it's impossible to look down on those who choose not to take part due to the purpose imbued within the Society itself.
Therefore, I consider it to be a win-win. Not at all a waste of time / resources.
Friday, February 19, 2021
Satan's Ruse: Shame / On Standby To Tamp Down Your Christian Influence
Imagine yourself surrounded by individuals you admire / cherish. They're circumnavigating you as you're right in there, dead center of this circle. These individuals are from both your past and present. Perhaps they're friends, family, neighbors, work colleagues, college roommates, and on and on. But too, you see your spouse, even children of your own within the circle.
And they all just happen to be holding firearms that they're determined to kill you with then and there. Handguns, rifles, flamethrowers, etc. are all represented within their arsenal, and the bullets / flames are dead on accurate. One after the other after the other tearing through your flesh inflicting massive trauma and bleedout.
This is representative of the powerful ruse that is shame.
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Shame is wickedly effective at buckling us under emotionally because it loops in our perceived peer group / community. And 99% of the time, to the degree (key word) it loops them in, is far removed from reality.
Let me repeat that. 99% of the time, to the degree it loops them in, is far removed from reality.
Now, let me be expound a little farther into this post, but firstly... Shame can and often does exist in a vacuum. And this is where it's proven to be of Satan. In other words, despite the fact that no one is privy to our faults, remember faults are shame targets, we can find ourselves reflexively experiencing the imagined musings / opinions of many of these individuals (that I cited above). Satan, as the "great accuser", is the ringleader in this charade, using our defenseless, isolated position coupled with our near constant self focus to his advantage.
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I believe I've chronicled within previous posts how difficult it was for me, back in the mid to late '90s (soon after marrying Angie) to find a men's group that was supportive of the notion of authentic community (to any degree whatsoever). Small group Bible studies were available, but that was it. Therefore, unfortunately, it was the Internet that provided a stopgap solution via gay porn consumption. At the time, my diet was limited to dial-up content, but nevertheless, it was an ample solution relative to my isolation. Plus, I savored the beauty of the naked hotness that I'd stumbled across online. No doubt, it was the ultimate two-edged sword which served to placate my loneliness whilst extinguishing any semblance of joy within my soul. As such, shame washed over me continually.
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Here's the hard truth about this ploy of Satan that you need to digest fully today.
Every human being, 99% of the time, is fixated on they themselves. We are all completely aware of our own selves every moment of every day. This awareness consists of memory, present circumstances, and our hopes for the future combined with our own personal feelings regarding all of this.
Therefore, no matter how much you believe others around you are disappointed, perplexed, angry, "at their wit's end", despondent, confused, reticent, and so forth regarding you yourself, you're wrong. Way, way wrong. So wrong in fact that it's impossible to truly establish a point of reference for just how wrong you are.
Think of human beings as plumb lines that swing whilst prompted, but otherwise, always, always, always re-center immediately following said influence. And whilst centered, we're back to what we do best - looking / examining our own selves square in the face.
The lesson here is this. Every human being is just as much of a victim of Satan's ruse as every other. And at some point, you've got to come to grips with that.
This truth can and should reorient your thinking regarding shame and how debilitating it can seem.
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In closing, where did I finally find authentic community amongst men? Samson Society, of course.
Fast forward from the mid to late '90s to 2014. And let me emphasize the word community here. I had found individual men who were willing to listen and love me - warts and all, but never had I encountered a community of men 'till Samson Society found me.
From there, I found more and more stymie to not keep quiet regarding my own failings as well as the grace begotten me in spite. For Samson Society proved to me everything that I've disclosed / stated previously in a very big way. It was the petri dish I needed.
Therefore, learn these lessons today and from there, embrace the opportunity to use your story to influence / disrupt the wiles of our common enemy. From there, sit back and watch the Holy Spirit do his thang.
Wednesday, February 17, 2021
The Ultimate Influencer, Your Mistress' Suitor (You)
I believe women are more competitive than men overall. And when I say that, I'm specifically addressing women competing against women relative to their attention / engagement with the opposite sex.
Today, you may be married to a woman and have somewhere around the average 2.5 children. And within that setup, you may also have a relationship with another woman (or women) from the perimeter. That being, your mistress or some semblance therein. This could be a woman from your past (when you were a young man), a woman from the recent past or a woman you just encountered and developed a relationship with. She could be professional, a prostitute, a wife, a mother, a Christian, a pagan, and on and on. Ultimately, you're attracted to her, like very much the attention she's providing and she has breasts and a vagina.
What exactly is a mistress, and where do they / how do they exactly come into play within a guy's life?
We'll attempt to answer this one at the end of this post.
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As a man who's quite open about revealing / discussing his homosexual desires, I find it so interesting to observe females reactions to me myself.
The funniest reaction is when they attempt to "de-gay" me via their physical advances. On numerous occasions, I've had women serendipitously bear hug me for prolonged, awkward moments, pressing their breasts against my chest unremitted with their arms tightly locked around my torso.
It's like experiencing vertical sex with a stranger, and it is creepily awkward (especially when it happens within a church setting).
On other occasions, women react to my transparent gayness by shunning me outright and / or dropping hints as to how steadfast they are in servicing their husband's sexual needs. As if to say, "Back off, you homo. Keep away from my man."
Being the father of three daughters, one of the most sure-fire ways to motivate one of my children is to discreetly pit one against the other. Say for example, one of them has been assigned a project, and a lengthy, time-consuming one at that. And this project has a deadline that's weeks into the future. Once I sense that said daughter's interest is waning in their project, all I have to do to invigorate her focus is recommend that she "subcontract out" the work to one of her sisters for a season, seeing how she's "lost interest".
You talk about watching a pitch fall flat. You would think it had been weighed down by the Earth itself.
Instinctually, women are territorial relative to groundwork that's their own or sites they feel so moved to survey beyond their borders. Hence the expected discord whilst attempting to have them share a room / clothes / a vehicle, or a man.
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And this leads me to husband / fathers and the power / control they wield over females (which will serve as the segue needed to answer the aforementioned question).
Mistresses, by definition, exist solely in response to their puppeteers. That being, the men they serve.
These women are yoked to these men despite their refusing to believe otherwise. In many ways, it's a paradox for them to step into for there's a semblance of control (ground gained) that's shrouded in emotional manipulation for which they have no control over.
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When we moved back from Cleveland in 2013, one of our 10 immediate neighbors had separated and was headed for divorce. We knew this because the husband was no longer living within the abode. Therefore, we did our best to minister to the wife and her daughter despite the shame imbued limitations (cloud of embarrassment and despairing). I remember specifically, after she divulged to us the relationship she'd quickly developed with a new man (thanks to online hookup sites), to steer clear of getting involved sexually with her new stud under any circumstances.
Why would I do this? Sex is so much fun!
You know why.
Even not taking into account what Scripture has to say about fornication and divorcees, women cannot be sexual sans involving their whole hearts / emotional selves. The experience is binding for them whereas for men, sex can simply serve as an exchange of bodily fluids.
This is why you don't see women sneaking around in public parks looking to engage in anonymous hookups under the veil of darkness, or engaging similarly in public restrooms in accordance with their "suitability" for cruising.
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I am convinced that one of the primary drivers young women have towards refuting their gender is rooted in their coming to the realization of just how vulnerable to men they truly are. And not just physically vulnerable but emotionally vulnerable. To the point of potential deep seated manipulation.
Who can blame 'um for wanting out of their biological gender in response to these vulnerabilities?
I'm pretty sure the Bible addresses this within the book of Genesis as one of the detriments of The Fall, and it sucks for women.
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Women are so unique, and so helpful to us men.
If you're courting a mistress, do them a favor and walk away today. For good.
As their suitor, you are the biggest problem they face.
Tuesday, February 16, 2021
Commitment
Facilitating a Samson Society group here in Metro Jackson is such an honor, but I have to admit that it's hearing / receiving word from a Samson guy that they're choosing to commit to coming to the group meetings consistently that really puts a smile on my face.
Samson Society can be hard to decode for a newcomer. And that's intentional. Therefore, guys need time to "find their place" within once they've decided for themselves that making a commitment is worth the investment.
It is wonderful taking part in this ministry for such a time as this. Especially during this prolonged season of overarching isolation and distancing. I am blessed.
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