Imagine yourself surrounded by individuals you admire / cherish. They're circumnavigating you as you're right in there, dead center of this circle. These individuals are from both your past and present. Perhaps they're friends, family, neighbors, work colleagues, college roommates, and on and on. But too, you see your spouse, even children of your own within the circle.
And they all just happen to be holding firearms that they're determined to kill you with then and there. Handguns, rifles, flamethrowers, etc. are all represented within their arsenal, and the bullets / flames are dead on accurate. One after the other after the other tearing through your flesh inflicting massive trauma and bleedout.
This is representative of the powerful ruse that is shame.
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Shame is wickedly effective at buckling us under emotionally because it loops in our perceived peer group / community. And 99% of the time, to the degree (key word) it loops them in, is far removed from reality.
Let me repeat that. 99% of the time, to the degree it loops them in, is far removed from reality.
Now, let me be expound a little farther into this post, but firstly... Shame can and often does exist in a vacuum. And this is where it's proven to be of Satan. In other words, despite the fact that no one is privy to our faults, remember faults are shame targets, we can find ourselves reflexively experiencing the imagined musings / opinions of many of these individuals (that I cited above). Satan, as the "great accuser", is the ringleader in this charade, using our defenseless, isolated position coupled with our near constant self focus to his advantage.
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I believe I've chronicled within previous posts how difficult it was for me, back in the mid to late '90s (soon after marrying Angie) to find a men's group that was supportive of the notion of authentic community (to any degree whatsoever). Small group Bible studies were available, but that was it. Therefore, unfortunately, it was the Internet that provided a stopgap solution via gay porn consumption. At the time, my diet was limited to dial-up content, but nevertheless, it was an ample solution relative to my isolation. Plus, I savored the beauty of the naked hotness that I'd stumbled across online. No doubt, it was the ultimate two-edged sword which served to placate my loneliness whilst extinguishing any semblance of joy within my soul. As such, shame washed over me continually.
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Here's the hard truth about this ploy of Satan that you need to digest fully today.
Every human being, 99% of the time, is fixated on they themselves. We are all completely aware of our own selves every moment of every day. This awareness consists of memory, present circumstances, and our hopes for the future combined with our own personal feelings regarding all of this.
Therefore, no matter how much you believe others around you are disappointed, perplexed, angry, "at their wit's end", despondent, confused, reticent, and so forth regarding you yourself, you're wrong. Way, way wrong. So wrong in fact that it's impossible to truly establish a point of reference for just how wrong you are.
Think of human beings as plumb lines that swing whilst prompted, but otherwise, always, always, always re-center immediately following said influence. And whilst centered, we're back to what we do best - looking / examining our own selves square in the face.
The lesson here is this. Every human being is just as much of a victim of Satan's ruse as every other. And at some point, you've got to come to grips with that.
This truth can and should reorient your thinking regarding shame and how debilitating it can seem.
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In closing, where did I finally find authentic community amongst men? Samson Society, of course.
Fast forward from the mid to late '90s to 2014. And let me emphasize the word community here. I had found individual men who were willing to listen and love me - warts and all, but never had I encountered a community of men 'till Samson Society found me.
From there, I found more and more stymie to not keep quiet regarding my own failings as well as the grace begotten me in spite. For Samson Society proved to me everything that I've disclosed / stated previously in a very big way. It was the petri dish I needed.
Therefore, learn these lessons today and from there, embrace the opportunity to use your story to influence / disrupt the wiles of our common enemy. From there, sit back and watch the Holy Spirit do his thang.
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