Within the last (30) days, the Samson Society meeting script (available online to virtual meeting facilitators) has been updated to include some pointed language (within the part that speaks to obtaining a Silas).
The initial iteration of that inclusion read something like this:
"The Samson Society is a place to practice nonsexual intimacy. In order to promote the emotional growth of our members and protect spiritual health of our community, sexual communication or connection between members is prohibited. Misconduct is addressed according to Matthew 18."
There are men who are on the hunt for relationships with other men that exist within sexual tension. Specifically, they're looking for guys who they're sexually attracted to and vice versa, thereby generating the potential for segueing the initially platonic relationship into the sexual realm.
When you're engaging with others online (outside of Samson Society), and this is your modus operandi, it's likely going to carry over, by default, whilst transitioning into our community. That is, unless it's made clear up front that this MO isn't welcome.
-------------------------
I befriended a middle-aged Samson guy earlier this year who eventually made it clear - to me - that his intent aligned therein. Keep in mind though that this was before the Samson Society meeting script change, and this man too was far more involved within other online Christian recovery ministries (most of which had already added statements like this one).
Once this friend notified me regarding his present nurturing of a sexually tense relationship, he asked me to "hold him accountable" relative to "the integrity of their friendship".
He described the relationship as follows:
"...in addition to that, I confess I have grown pretty infatuated with a friend I met through (other Christian men's ministry). Like me, he has a lot of flexibility in his work and we've been able to talk a lot. We have not done anything inappropriate, and both are committed to staying above the fray, but I confess I have been intensely attracted to him, and he to me. I want to learn to keep this friendship but keep it safe."
He then responded accordingly to my initial (very negative) reaction:
"Rob, thank you so much for your response earlier. I can understand why you would have such an intense reaction. I hope you will still be my friend and keep me accountable if I continue with my friendship. He and I have set strict boundaries of what we can talk about and what we will allow each other to see from a physical perspective. We do need to talk about the time factor as we should limit that as well. ...I would like to face rather than run from these feelings to understand what the real need is and be honest about that, rather than just ignore it."
Here's an excerpt from my final communication:
"I can't support you my friend, going forward, if you choose to continue with your infatuation relationship."
-------------------------
This verbiage is needed / has been needed within the Samson Society meeting script for some time.
No comments:
Post a Comment