Catch 22: A dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions.
I've been involved in volunteer organizations throughout my life. Starting with First Baptist Church Jackson, back in the '80s, I was a consistent youth group member. I served vocally (Youth Choir / Ensemble) and showed up for most every retreat, Disciple Now!, and Bible study that I reasonably could. I did this because I was a new Christian, and I craved discipleship and youth worship.
As a teen, this experience quickly taught me that I had to make a choice relative to annoying people (youth or adults). I could either 1) choose to tolerate them, 2) tolerate them and talk bad about them behind their back, or 3) simply walk away from youth group (stop attending). I tried hard to choose the former, and I believe I did so because it seemed pointless - & out of line with God's will - to choose otherwise.
I didn't dabble much in volunteer orgs during college (MSU's the Maroon Band notwithstanding), but eventually, post-graduation, I did dabble in a "young architects" version of the American Institute of Architects, join Young Business Leaders here in Jackson and continue forward with church attendance. From there, I've been involved in our 'hood's homeowners' association as a board / committee member for many years, and on and on.
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As we age, we're more easily annoyed by others. This is an undisputed claim. Everyone, for the most part, falls in line with that statement, though there're some unusual exceptions (these are truly exceptional people).
Why is this?
A lot of it has to do with reduced patience, but much of it is centered on our inability to truly be curious (as we once were).
Innate curiosity peaks when we're young. Children are curious about everything and everyone (even annoying people so long as they're not too intimidating).
Children too recognize their own annoying tendencies. As we age, we're much less adept at this. As such, we become comfortable with our own sense of "settled perfection".
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So, what does it mean to be annoying?
Annoying: causing irritation or annoyance
So often, annoying people behave in ways that are just similar enough for us to recognize, but almost within a wholly distinct language (temperament / attitude) of their own. We then take a bit of offense (we believe our way is best) to this, and from there, find ourselves irritated by their sloppiness, stupidity, immaturity, etc.
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All of this points me to Samson Society. Again, one of those volunteer organizations that's filled with all manner of guys relative to backgrounds, location, faith, pedigree, nationality, educational background, sexuality, professional credentials (or lack thereof), marital status, parental status, demographic, vocation, personality, temperament and on and on.
Lots of opportunity to become annoyed with someone due to diversity alone. Don't you think?
Whether it's whilst rubbing shoulders during a Samson Society meeting (face-to-face or virtual), retreat (National or Intensive), Slack posts, video messaging service, etc.
So, what're your options?
Same ones I had back during my time in youth group at First Baptist Church Jackson.
Remember, whilst making your choice, that the latter two are exactly in line with what Satan hopes for.
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We've talked about gossip here prior, but not so much making a discreet exit from Samson Society (or other parachurch men's orgs) due to annoyance.
If you attend multiple (3+) Samson Society National Retreats, you'll see ghosts everywhere. It's disturbing. Proving that so many men simply don't stick around for longer than a handful of years. As such, I would argue annoyance plays a factor therein.
Therefore, what can we do as Samson men to combat annoyance?
- Distance yourself from the annoyers to the best of your ability (remember, Samson Society is a BIG place).
- Pray for the annoyer(s).
- Let go of your "list of grievances" that you've amassed against the annoyer (wipe your slate clean) & choose to put down your pen.
- Take a hard look at your "curiosity quotient", and if it's "in the negative", ask yourself why. The last thing Samson needs is an(other) ornery old man.
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