I believe the first item to consider regarding your involvement within this unique parachurch men's ministry is your own personal wiring. Are you at all wired to give of yourself? If so, moving forward with Samson Society (meetings, retreats, serving other men as a Silas, etc.) absolutely will be smooth sailing / no doubt blessed by God. If you're not the giver other guys are, it may be best to consider changing your approach. Also, are you / have you remained comfortable with the format of the meetings? If so, you're in good company. I've been involved in Samson Society since 2014 and the format hasn't changed (though there are a handful of Samson sub-type formats now available). If none of these suits your fancy, there're plenty of other parachurch men's ministries that offer other meeting formats. I'd encourage you to explore those going forward (versus stepping out of recovery completely).
To expound on my first question:
Example: You're the Samson guy who's not shared his (summarization) story with anyone within this community of men (over the course of one year), and you're constantly regurgitating (repeating) your travails ad nauseum relative to your continued plight. And you see nothing awry with either of these facts...
Too, you've not asked anyone for their story / actively worked to honestly befriend other Samson men.
If this is you, you're likely not a giver. And that's okay. Perhaps it best that you consider moving on in order to make room for someone else. I'm of the opinion that Samson Society is primed for men who give freely of themselves.
I realize that may sound harsh, but this community isn't a good fit for every man. Plus, timing is everything. Hence, you may not be positioned as of late to give.
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Secondly, considering your "giving spirit" (we're making that assumption going forward), now that one year has passed, what can you now do / feel prepared to do relative to utilizing that giving spirit (on behalf of the community) that you could not have done at your outset?
Example: You recognize where you're at with your own personal recovery enough to "branch out" and engage with new and fresh Samson groups (face-to-face / virtual). Or, you choose to support Samson Society by facilitating a group. Or, YOU BEGIN FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING SAMSON SOCIETY VIA A MONTHLY GIFT.
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Thirdly, you obtain a Silas.
I myself didn't obtain my first Silas 'till 16 months into my Samson Society involvement (though I began serving as a Silas very early on).
There's a lot of chatter about arbitrarily choosing another Samson guy to be your Silas at the outset, but it's malarkey. I wouldn't attempt that approach.
Silas relationships are built solely on attraction. Attraction between Samson men is built on respect. Respect is a broad term. Men usually respect each other based on aspiration / shared interests & goals. It takes time for attraction to be recognized as distinct combined with time to muster the courage to ask another man to be your Silas. Now that one year has passed, it's time to do just that.
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Fourthly, you need to take stock. If you started this journey by challenging yourself to attend (90) Samson Society meetings in (90) days or somesuch, that's all well and good. But now that one year has passed, you need to stop and think about what your needs are going forward.
Because Samson Society is jam-packed with Type A extroverts, you're likely going to hear plentiful amounts of commentary regarding "what you need to do next", but this is all horseshit. There's no set order of operation within this ministry. That's why it offers so much continually (& on repeat).
Perhaps it's time for you to throttle back on meetings? Maybe it's time for you to write you story. Perhaps it's time for you to attend the National Retreat, begin actively listening to the Pirate Monk podcast, reading recommended books, attending an Intensive weekend. And on and on...
Take stock.
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Lastly, and this one's depressing to cite, you've got to stick with your guns relative to why you're here (you're here for your recovery).
Samson Society has a sister org dubbed "The Sarah Society". Modeled after Samson Society, it was established to serve wives of Samson guys. Unfortunately, it's been rife with interpersonal conflict (gossip) that's impacted its effectiveness.
Having been a part of this community of men for one year, you've now officially "been around the block" with a posse of broken men. You've met with them weekly (sometimes on more than one occasion), therefore you know them & their situation quite well (particularly considering the personal content). You may have even traveled to an Intensive weekend that many of them too were a part of.
Lots and lots of good 'ol fashioned together time!
And this can breed the temptation to "cross pollinate" (gossip) between Samson friends. Do not fall into this trap.
As your mother once said, "If you don't have something good to say about someone, don't say anything at all." And to add to that, don't be divulging details (without their explicit permission) about other men's stories to other men. Instead, stay focused on the man - at hand - and his story, his needs, like one of many sub-folders on your desktop.
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In summary:
1. Are you a giver?
2. What are you equipped to do now versus where you were at a year prior?
3. Obtain a Silas.
4. Take stock of your recovery.
5. Avoid gossip / tribalism / falling into a Samson clique of guys (this is not middle school)
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