One (two) of the best observational lessons I took away from my second architecting job here in Jackson stood in stark contrast to another that was in (moral) opposition to it. Each of these yin / yang lessons played out during separate seasons via two distinct, much older than Rob, individuals, one of which was my boss and the other a colleague whom I greatly respected. As a side note, I was probably around 30 years of age whilst experiencing what I'm about to describe.
The first observational lesson played out over the course of +/-15-30 minutes, and it involved a very memorable exchange between my boss and a client (with Rob stationed naively off to the side). In a nutshell, the client used the tail end of a scheduled meeting (which I believe he'd calendared) to railroad my boss, and this individual (it quickly became apparent) was quite adept at railroading.
His gripe(s) was likely legit (I don't remember what it exactly was), but instead of professionally relaying his grievances, he chose to railroad. And this resulted in the client obviously feeling quite empowered, but in the end, it definitively exposed his true bully colors.
The lesson I observed herein was to listen, stay calm, and answer any and all questions courteously, enduring the vitriol 'till it's completely exhausted. And this is exactly what my boss did.
But this is super hard to do, especially when you're perhaps not rested or really inexperienced relative to dealing with a railroader. Nonetheless, I observed closely how he handled this event with aplomb, and as a result, I came away feeling pity for what he'd had to endure, but at the same time safely positioned beneath his guise. I don't recall recognizing how influential his low-key reaction had been to me for such a time as that, but I do remember the quiet resolve I sensed over the course of the somber ride back to the office (from McComb).
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On the opposing end of that observational lesson is one I learnt via my aforementioned well respected, older colleague.
This guy was Type A, machismo, full-steam-ahead 24/7/365. And I thought that was cool though quite intimidating as well. In fact, I'd never engaged with anyone (up to this point in time) who did life with quite this much intensity. And just to give you an idea as to how intense this middle-aged guy was, he'd no qualms relative to opening up his slacks - off the cuff - (after swiftly unbuckling his belt) in order to re-tuck in his ENTIRE shirttail. I witnessed him do this countless times both in my office as well as our boss' office. He was just that kind of no-holds-barred dude who never gave a shit about formalities.
This intensely engaging fellow was also a seasoned deacon at a prominent Baptist church here in the Jackson Metro. Yet, when he discovered that he'd been intentionally unincluded from the church's building committee (they were gearing up to plan a new church campus), he protested by walking away from the church.
Now, you need to know that this man's job title was "Construction Administrator" at the architecture firm we were both employed at, therefore he certainly had the vocational credentials / experience to contribute therein. Nonetheless, the decisionmakers had decided against including him on this particular committee (conflict of interest), and as a result, it no doubt pissed him off to no end. From there, he picked up his toys and "moved his letter" to another Baptist church across town in disgust.
What was so stunning about his protest though was how many relationships he forfeited / left high & dry whilst doing so. Imagine with me how much history he and his family were immediately severed from! Over a stupid church committee sleight. It was readily apparent that this was a ridiculously juvenile reaction on his part.
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Involving oneself within the Samson Society, over time, is going to result in some complex relational dynamics. Samson Society is populated with loners. We're men who have proven our mettle relative to surviving within extreme isolation. Nonetheless, because of this, there can be, at times, not a whole lot of regard for "keeping the peace" / "playing nice" due to our survival instincts (pre-Samson Society existence) being our default.
To be frank, you're going to rub shoulders with men that you don't like one bit within this community of men. You're also going to find yourself, at times, not at all liked. If you're like me, you must recognize that being involved within Samson Society, no matter the tension, is ultimately for your personal gain / maturation. Therefore, ushering oneself into other men's (dis)comfort zones (as well as your own) is a vibe you're simply going to have to become accustomed to at times.
A big part of doing this with ease is taking the high road, thereby doing your part to keep the peace. Otherwise, Satan may very well succeed in derailing God's good work therein.
In closing, only as a very last result should you jump ship in search of another group to continue forward relative to fulfilling your needs. And this is due to the fact that it symbolizes a semblance of defeat, and don't nobody need no more of that within our ranks.
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