My father and mother both caught COVID-19 in mid-December '20 as a result of my father choosing to take advantage of the opening of white tail deer (gun) season here in the Magnolia State. And what I mean by that specifically is he chose to gather around his comrades in arms in rural Yazoo County within their annual competitive swarm. Therein, one of the most prominent of these hunters exposed my father and the rest of the men to the virus and that was that.
This really frightened me because I care for my parents' well-being. Plus, they're typically at our office every day (as am I). Up to that point in time, they'd been reliably quarantining (for the most part). No doubt, my dad simply refused to forgo his annual beginning-of-winter deer camp experience. In the end, I was blessed to not also become ill. All and all, it was a stupid (stupid is a verb) decision on my father's part that put my family at great risk.
Around this same time (the week of Xmas 2020), my dad's oldest brother died unexpectedly whilst dining alone one evening in a franchise steakhouse in Madison. No one in the family cared much for this man, therefore his funeral felt more obligatory than anything else, coming and going without much, if any, emotional percolation from anyone (except is only son).
In the middle of all of this - my parents' COVID-19 infections / Joe's unexpected death, my dad's youngest brother became very ill with COVID-19, and subsequently was diagnosed with leukemia whilst being treated. This really impacted my father especially. For he's always cherished his younger brother, who in many ways was more like his son than younger brother.
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During of all this, my dad's anger issues simply stayed dormant. Therefore, for years now, he's been an entirely different man in many ways. No longer seeing me (or my mother) as a threat, and no longer constantly posturing.
As such, it's been a wonderful few years in this regard.
But now that's come to an end.
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Anger is a powerful motivator within certain individuals. For it's like an engine buried deep beneath the surface that's constantly idling, always ready to roar to life.
This is the case with my dad.
Hyper competitiveness and envy can grow out of anger. To the point that individuals become paranoid and emotionally isolated.
Throw into the mix low intelligence, and angry people can buy into some crazy shit. Hook, line & sinker.
Angry people have no clue how to be motivated to live life sans anger because it's all they know. It is their effective means to an end.
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Yesterday, my dad and I freshwater fished on a beautiful lake at - ironically - his Yazoo County deer camp. I'd been thinking about fishing with him a few weeks prior, and thankfully, he inquired if I'd like to come along earlier this week.
Yet, even at the outset of this venture (whilst deciding on a time to meet at his abode to depart), I could tell that I was walking into a bad situation.
As a result of this day fishing trip, I've decided that this is the end. No more freshwater fishing trips with Robert, Senior. Ever.
Years ago (pre-pandemic), I'd decided the same relative to saltwater fishing.
A few weeks back, I also had returned to having lunch with my dad once a week, and that too, I've decided will be coming to an end.
I give up.
My life is too short to be putting myself within his crosshairs. Robert, Junior = easy target.
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Years ago, I served as a Silas to a young man who confessed to spending years of his life entrenched in Internet porn out of anger towards God. And this Southern sinner was a preacher's kid who'd been homeschooled K-12. As you can imagine, this motivational confession was quite shocking. Especially coming from someone of such high emotional / religious intelligence.
His anger towards God was rooted in him not finding / being denied romantic love - on his terms.
This young man absolutely adored / worshipped at the alter of beautiful, intelligent, sexy women and longed to have (a select few of) them captivated by he himself in turn. Just a handful, in particular, had rejected him, and from there, his self-centered anger took (deep) root.
For he believed, wholeheartedly, that he was THE BEST CHOICE for these lovely babes long after they'd moved on. Hence, he found plenty of readily available videos / photos of lovely babes, of every ilk, online to fantasize over as he pleasured himself out of spite.
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I had a wholesaler meeting (at our office) earlier this week that came about unexpectedly. The man was from Nashville, and had made an appointment weeks prior with my dad. Robert, Sr. had forgotten about this scheduled juncture, therefore I did my darndest to assist him in saving face (by meeting with the wholesaler in turn).
The wholesaler was interested in knowing how it was that I might possibly work with my father, citing his own familial challenges. Along with that, he wanted to know if I missed practicing architecture.
Pretty bold questions for a wholesaler, but too, certainly not inquiries that are unfamiliar to Rob.
In response, I provided my stock answers, which is all this stranger deserved.
Ultimately (here's the real answer), I pity my dad. For I know how in bondage he is to something far greater than he can see or understand. Also, I'm supremely patient when it comes to men, and he's no exception to that. In fact, I've practiced my patienceness throughout my life on him.
Thanks be to God that anger isn't an issue that Rob wrestles with (though I have my fair share of others that are equally as destructive).
Prayer for me and my father would be appreciated.
I already miss my dad as he presented himself during the pandemic. It is super disappointing to see him revert back to his old ways.
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