Darlene, Jr.

As strange as it may sound, my mom is the closest person to me relative to serving as some semblance of a mentor.  Yet, she's done so throughout my life via a hands-off approach.  What I mean by that is she's modeled behavior versus attempting to teach it directly.  Perhaps that doesn't necessarily qualify her as an actual mentor, but it's never been in her DNA to attempt to instruct me directly in the ways of manhood.  And I realize that sounds weird, but just keep reading for further commentary on that.

Darlene and I have identical temperaments (self-reliant / positive / forward thinking), therefore there've been inevitable seasons of serious head butting, yet it's never too long 'till we've realigned our trajectories amiably.  I can remember occasions when I was a teen as well as a new father where I felt she'd overstepped.  Each time, I'd be firm in expressing my frustration 'till she was willing to reign in her demands / criticism.  This would often result in enduring some lengthy seasons of chilled reception (from her), but in the end, it was always worth the trouble / discomfort therein.  I actually used to appreciate her stubbornness that much more after the fact.  Yielding can be hard for individuals who're as driven as she, yet I'm one of the few people who's capable of that persuasion.

I recently had lunch with an old Samson friend who described the persona of his wife as "a man in a woman's body".  In many ways, that same description fits my mom.  "Tough as nails" is a tagline that we've all heard before.  It fits Darlene to a tee.  As such, as her only child, I've come to realize how privileged I've been to be reared by her and to - even today - have a strong, respectful relationship with her.  At this point in my life, I see myself as sort of an insider as to who she really is - behind the scenes.

You've seen those talk shows that feature family members of rock stars.  I've always felt like I'd qualify for one of those particular shows regarding my mom, as both her presence in my life as well as her public image (amongst the community my 'rents are part of) has always been somewhat larger than life.  

On the flip side of her demeanor / temperament is her graceful physical beauty wrapped in sort of a countrified, folksy poise.  

My mother became pregnant with me at age 18.  She was an impoverished high school student in the Mississippi Delta who'd found herself in quite the quagmire.  And yes, it was her physical beauty that served to enable her to take the steps she did to officiate that predicament.  

My father married her just a few months into her pregnancy.  And her beauty has mesmerized him ever since.  

My mother is one of a kind.  I'm proud to be her son but not at all personified by indebtedness to her. Therefore, it truly is a fantastic win-win for Rob, having had her model so many rock-solid attributes that serve as the foundational bedrock of who I am today.  In the end though, it is very weird having a woman serve me so faithfully as a mentor.