Our family took a short vacation over the past few days up to Yazoo county. My wife's deceased uncle left his 4 children a spectacular farmhouse there that we're privileged to gain access to on occasion. It sits on 60 pastoral acres, and the terrain there is quite un-Mississippi like (hilly). To sum it up, the hardwood trees are spectacular and the 3 ponds bucolic. We absolutely love spending time there, stealing away (pro bono) from the city.
Not long after Angie and I were married 23 years ago, this same uncle hosted Thanksgiving at his home in Yazoo City (the county seat of Yazoo county). I remember driving up with my wife's family and her brother to spend Thanksgiving lunch with everyone there. Their home (now sold off) sat on the country club golf course and the layout was very much unlike what I expected to see ('70s modern). This was the only time I recall Thanksgiving being hosted at this venue.
After a couple of three hours of familial investing around the dinner table, we departed for Jackson. Our time there had been delightful. My wife's family was so welcoming and engaging. I was thrilled to have had the opportunity to take part, therefore even today, as I'm coming off of our mini-vacation, I'm nostalgic relative to that day decades prior.
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One of the first attributes of my in-laws that I was made aware of as their son-in-law was their refined palettes. It was obvious from the getgo that meals for them were especially savored, whether they were served at their home or eaten out. This was not what I'd ever witnessed prior within my own home. The Turners didn't take the time to savor food. There were too many other things to move on to after breakfast / lunch / dinner, if you know what I mean. And honestly, I believe my in-laws sensed that, and thought less of me for it (which whilst looking back, I can understand).
As we were backing out of the driveway from the aforementioned Thanksgiving meal in Yazoo City, I remember distinctly that the food critiquing was kicked off by my brother in-law. From there, I was in awe as I listened to everyone precisely adjudicate the meal we'd just partaken of as one would critique a film / play at the local movie house / theater. I had no idea just how outmatched / out of my league I truly was, therefore I just sat there with a big grin on my face.
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My mother is what I'm going to dub here as an amateur interior decorator / gardener, and her feng shui is hyper-focused on popular trends. In fact, the trendier, the better. One of her favorite pastimes is touring other people's homes / gardens in order to critique and steal ideas for her own home / garden. As an only child (boy), I was always interested in hanging out with friends in order to counteract the inherent singular boredom. My mom, on occasion, would strongly hint that hanging out at other kids' abodes would be doing her a favor in light of the work that entailed having to tidy up her masterpiece after us "hoodlums". I share that here as an example of just how invested she was / is in her home. It is and always has been truly spectacular.
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There is great wisdom in looking closely at one's surroundings in order to understand to the best of your biased ability who you are in context to those around you, but to also do this with other people's feelings / spiritual value in mind is truly an extraordinary feat.
In order to do so, one must have humility overlayed with care and concern. And those traits are not of man's flesh. Not at all. Hence, the mandate of the transformational gospel must come into play.
One thing, I have found, that helps though is being cognizant of your own brokenness (sin nature) and exactly how crippling it truly is / has been. Being able to name it, explain it, quantify it - so to speak - puts your outlook at an advantage here and hopefully will guardrail you from ALSO dragging others under as well (when you do choose to give into your rebellious nature).
But, I have to admit, it's finding that balance that's such a challenge for me. I can be so critical whilst tapping into my observational / critiquing skills, never once taking into consideration how my adjudication might be received. And the opposite too can occur. Years ago, I took it upon myself to compliment another Samson man's courageous approach to an outdoor endeavor we both chose to take part in one Summer afternoon, and from there, due exclusively to my approach, I put our friendship over the edge.
It is very hard for me to know exactly how to execute the wisdom of this verse day to day. Nevertheless, I do believe the best approach is a cautionary one mated to that age-old reminder (for me and everyone else) that I'm truly the most fucked up of all. May God grant me the wisdom to live out Philippians 2:4 to his glory within 2020!
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