What I Want In Lieu Of What I Need To Hear

Early on in my involvement in Samson Society, I watched a close friendship between two young Samson men implode seemingly overnight.  These brothers in Christ were closer than any two men I'd ever had the privilege of knowing.  They were both of similar ages, one was recently divorced and the other a bachelor.  Both loved adventure - playing games, spending time outdoors, knocking back a few beers together.  And each of them found each other within Samson Society here in Jackson.

And then it was over.  And from there, the bachelor jettisoned Samson Society from his schedule pretty much entirely.  It was so unfortunate.  He was one of the most articulate, compassionate, energetic men I've ever met, and man oh man, did he have an incredible backstory.

And then he was gone.

I ran into him at some point last year in the grocery store, and unfortunately, I could not remember his name.  It had been that long.

I realize friendships are typically short-lived.  That fact is not shied away from within the Samson Society charter.  But, many times, there's intentional sabotage when one party is offended or simply tired of hearing the truth relative to his situation in tandem with his proximity / distance to the truth teller(s).
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The topic that caused such consternation between these two young Samson men was too deadly for one to not ignore (out of love & concern) and too personally definable for the other to yield on (or to even consider yielding on), therefore implosion occurred.  Observing this dynamic was such the eye-opener to me relative to how difficult it actually is for we as men to digest criticism that we simply do not wish to hear, and subsequently how cowardly we can behave in response to our not wishing to face said difficulties.

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The 'hood I grew up in was '80s Madison through and through.  Cookie cutter ranch / usonian houses with little to no differentiation stylistically.  In other words, think of the opposite of what you find there in 2020.  Our hood was 50/50 blue and white collar whites, and where we resided on St. Augustine Dr. afforded us the privilege of living adjacent to a plumber, his wife, and their 3 children.

Whenever our kitchen sink would become clogged, our neighbor would generously come and unstop it shortly after receiving a succinct phone call from my dad.  And this seemed to happen often.  But when it did, this was the one time we'd actually see the patriarch from next door - up close and personal.  Never once do I remember my 'rents inviting them over for lunch or dinner.  To church or otherwise.  And all this purposeful / intentional distance stemmed from proximity (stone's throw) to one another.  Had our plumber neighbor lived with his family 10+ miles away, and perhaps had been a client of my father's, then maybe there'd been more of an effort made to minister / be hospitable.

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My point is this.  Samson Society moves you into the same "platonic neighborhood" with a group of men.  For the most part (99% of the time), these men are investing within the ministry in order to mature forward whilst being within an authentic - weekly meeting - community.  Over time, God's going to speak in and through some of these men.  Considering that truth, your greatest discomfort is going to come from facing the arbiter of that criticism again and again (whether you agreed with it or not) as your continue forward within the ministry.  And this is purposeful and healthful.  Keep "iron sharpening iron" in mind here.

The reason neighbors rarely invest relationally within each other is to avoid the risk of ticking someone adjacent off.  And to carry that analogy forward, it must also include the notion of possibly having to pick up and relocate (or vice versa) after being offended / ticked off, and who wants to do that?

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Samson Society is such the Catch-22 in this regard, and the only way around it (that I've found) is to be really inconsistent with one's attendance.  Therefore, those large gaps in time can serve as an emotional buffer zone.  Not at all unlike residing next to an Airbnb.  But who really wants to reside next to an Airbnb?  Nobody.