Datum / "Turning On" Gravity

As we go about our day to day lives, there's no doubt that the most physical point of reference is the effect of gravity on everything around us.  So much so that we cannot even begin to imagine life without it.  Gravity serves us as well as a datum, but it's one that we would never recognize as such.  And it's consistent in that way, thanks be to God, never compromising itself as if it were controlled by some cosmic rheostat.  Everything around us and within us physically works as it does thanks to gravity.

Have you any idea how humbling it is to realize you're acting as an emotional / spiritual datum relative to your loved ones?  And I'm not only referring to family / extended family, but to close friends as well.  Recently, I've been made aware of this, and I must say as a middle-aged man who's no deacon and certainly not a pillar within the community at large, it's quite humbling to consider.

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My dad grew up in Belzoni, MS back in the 1950s.  For him, it was an idyllic childhood despite being reared by an alcoholic, physically abusive father who died young to lung cancer.  If you ask him to recount memories from all those years ago, they'll undoubtedly contain landmarks as points of reference.  Landmarks such as The Pig Stand restaurant, the city baseball (Little League) field, Turner Drug Store, The Dairy Bar restaurant, etc.  And due to the small scale of Belzoni, these places were hugely important whilst navigating his and his three brothers' day to day life.  Each landmark brings with it cherished memories of old despite the fact that most of them have long since been repurposed or removed entirely from the vernacular of what is still "The Heart of the Delta".

My childhood in Madison during the 1980s was completely different from my father's.  I experienced a typical suburban upbringing which brought with it zero landmarks.  Instead, we simply found ourselves on the far outskirts of the city, living where seemingly few other people chose to, and henceforth having to drive into Jackson to experience work, church, restaurants, etc. Other than a rural airport, there simply wasn't anything to Madison at that time.

My interpersonal familial upbringing though wasn't completely landmark-less despite the fact that Bob & Darlene were always more like much older siblings to me than parents.  Siblings who, like myself, were trying to figure out this whole growing up thing (remember my 'rents had me as teens).  For me (and in many ways my dad as well), it was my mom's dad, Bud Hampton, who served me well as a familial datum.  Though I didn't see him often (my mom's parents also lived outside of the aforementioned city of Belzoni), he was completely respected by all of us due to his loving nature, personal disciplines, and positive outlook as a man.  Not to mention his faith, which was substantial and of course, harkened back to everything listed within the previous sentence.

When I think back on my childhood as it relates to my dad, I do know that he was fortunate to find a bossman datum early on in his career, and that relationship lasted for many, many years.  This man was very effective at providing much needed stability for him, even during the toughest of my family's personal trials.

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Today, I can see myself clearly as the datum that I am.  Especially amongst my parents and friends, though not quite as much within our household, but I'm hoping my vision there will eventually improve.

I believe this realization is tied to my entire self "coming online" - so to speak - thanks to the recent Samson Society retreat.

As I examine this truth relative to who I am, surprisingly I don't feel pressured by it.  Instead, I feel extremely humbled and blessed for such a time as this.

In closing, why is this important to me?

Because the root of Satan's accusations against me throughout my life have always been related to masculine worthlessness.  It's this notion that as a masculine being, I have no value, but at the same time, I don't experience conversely an overt sense of femininity.  Essentially, I describe it as a void that I have to cope with most days.

From a Biblical standpoint, masculinity is often rooted in risk taking fueled by faithfulness, if you take a wide swath of Biblical characters into account (& I'm not only referring to men).  And often those characters inspired their fellow men in turn to take stock in how God had / no doubt would work in and through their situation(s).

It's this realization that you're more than just another minion / cog in the machine that resonates with me.  And I suppose, I could pressure myself in and through this to perform, perform, perform, but I refuse.  Nor do I consider this blog post as some form of boasting due to the fact that I'm simply calling it like I see it, and am therefore immensely humbled to my core (as I've said prior).

It's no doubt freeing to simply acknowledge who God's called me to be in the lives of so many at this point in time.  Were it not for Samson Society, this realization thereof simply wouldn't be.  Thanks be to God for Samson Society!