I was a commiserate automobile aficionado way before I knew what the word aficionado meant. Toronado (Oldsmobile) yes, aficionado, not so much.
I remember distinctly approaching a man who drove onto the lot in his Bayerische Motoren Werke AG automobile. Back in 1991, there weren't nearly as many BMWs on the road here in Jackson, MS due to the fact that at the time, BMW only imported a fraction of cars to the USA for retail sell.
Mr. Dick, as we'll refer to him going forward, was confident and cocky. His tousled blonde hair and blue eyes fit perfectly into his preppie, assertive style. I'd say at the time, he was in his mid-30s, and he was there that day to scope out one particular minivan make and model for his wife.
Prior to discerning his motive, we chatted briefly before he asked me some semblance of the following: "Do you believe any of these cars are in anyway equal to what I drove onto this car lot?"
How does a 19 year-old car salesman answer that?
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Mortgaging a home is a big deal. It takes time and a heady decision relative to where exactly you're going to invest. And home buying is an investment. There's no doubt that unlike automobiles, it's an appreciating asset (most of the time).
So what's to be done when you find that your stuck with nosy, complaining, neglectful, annoying, or downright mentally ill neighbors?
For 7 years, I served as our homeowners' association president within our current 'hood. We've lived in this same 'hood within this same house for almost 20 years. Therefore, I know firsthand how challenging neighboring relationships can become year after year after year relative to involving certain individuals.
That being said, what do you do when you're invested in a single family home within an established neighborhood, yet you're having to constantly deal with the nosiness, complaints, abject neglect, annoyances, and sometimes outright lunacy (besides notify the HOA)?
I'll tell you what you do because I've witnessed (& lived) it. You wrestle and hand-wring. That's what you do. And all the while, you feel taken advantage of and oftentimes trapped.
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A few weeks into the future, Howard Wilson Chrysler Plymouth obtained two flagship minivans, the infamous Chrysler Town & Country. And that's when I immediately notified Mr. Dick, knowing this particular make / model was exactly what he wanted to purchase.
I remember it like it was yesterday, watching his German sports sedan yet again drive onto the lot, all along knowing that I had carried through with his specific instructions to reach out to him "just as soon" as one of these specific Chrysler vehicles graced our lot.
This time around, he had his wife with him. She was quiet and reserved and obviously anticipating what her vain hubby had for her to inspect.
Upon opening up the van, I watched both of them climb inside. The new car smell was particularly intense on this hot summer afternoon as I watched them run their hands over the Corinthian leather seats whilst digging their heels into the thick cutpile carpeting.
And then Mr. Dick asked another telling question, but this time it was directed towards his wife.
"Is this one nicer than what Susan drives?"
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Mentally / emotionally healthy women are typically averse to risky behavior. In particular within relationships with men. Instead, they gravitate towards safe and secure relative to many / most of the choices they make. Safe and secure men, for most women, are typically financially stable (or on their way to being) with an obvious commitment to being consistently secured relative to temperament, goals, interests, etc.
Material wealth brings with it mucho opportunities to flaunt it / gloat ones lifestyle within our western culture. And women, in particular, are heavily, heavily marketed to in this regard. From single family homes to automobiles, fashion to jewelry, developers, manufacturers, and retailers spend a fortune attempting to position themselves as the status defining purchase.
I distinctly remember back in the early '90s when Lexus automobiles became the status symbol to drive, and watching women whom happened to attend our church, motor around town in these very distinct, extremely fashionable overpriced Toyotas.
Within a similar vein, I have witnessed the impact a massive diamond pendant can make, hanging around the neck of a man's wife on a svelte gold chain. Believe me, it gets your attention.
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But what if her husband is essentially some version of the aforementioned Mr. Dick? And not just from the standpoint of his obvious arrogance and repugnant sense of entitlement, but relative to his private life. What if he's continually taking advantage of his high earner status by feigning, exploiting, abusing her trust in the security he provides in droves time and time again?
What if she's had children with Mr. Dick, and they're not privy (yet) to who he really is?
To be more specific, what if he's taking full advantage of her and subsequently, no longer cares to face his indulgent behavior as anything other than part of their relational dynamic?
What then?
I believe most women hunker down, emboldened and ashamed, and fall headlong into constructing their broken identity through purchase after purchase after purchase. And they do so in an effort to construct such a beautiful lifestyle illusion that no one would dare infer that the marriage she's saddled with is and always has been one big joke.
I have no doubt that women get hurt far more via divorce than men do. Plus, their chances of future happiness are much less if they go through with the D word. The emotional toil affects her health, breeds further insecurity and so forth. It's a bad, bad deal for them that serves as the antithesis of that lovely wedding day in June.
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So what can a woman do to preempt falling into this trap?
Easy.
Never, ever, ever under any circumstances allow yourself to become enchanted by luxury goods. Do whatever it takes to keep your worth / value as a woman absolutely, completely divorced from where you live, what you drive, what your husband does, what kind of jewelry / clothes you wear, and so on. So much so ladies, that you intentionally live well below your means.
Let me say that again. So much so ladies, that you intentionally live well below your means.
Take the money that he earns and invest it in your church, charities, and so on, but do not ever, ever, ever sink it into a piece of shit Chrysler product in order to keep up with the Joneses. Otherwise, you're choosing to enslave yourself by severely compromising your sovereignty as your husband's helpmeet. And this will no doubt be your demise.
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