Yikes!
I had lunch recently with an old recovery friend. I'd run into him during Q4 of '24 and promised to follow up in January of this year. Of all the men I've known who've truly dedicated themselves to recovery work, he's - by far - the one who's spent the most $$$ therein.
Therapists, workshops, parachurch men's ministries, monetary gifts, gifts and more gifts.
And his story is nothing like mine (nor yours). Therefore, I have complete respect for his monetary choices regarding his personal recovery.
That being said, he also has very, very deep pockets combined with a truly giving spirit. All in all, I'm very fortunate to be his friend, but frankly I can't imagine spending the kind of $$$ he has on recovery efforts.
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The primary reason the talons of gay porn sunk themselves so deeply into my psyche all those years ago (when the Internet first came on the scene) was due to ease of access (it was practically free).
From there, I was on my way down the rabbit hole, wasting countless hours of my life, with eyes wide open. But it's important to note that had there been a "per image fee", you would have NEVER found me online with my credit card in tow.
Hell no.
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Immediately following my '13 job loss, I met with a local therapist who - almost immediately - handed me a pamphlet detailing Bethesda workshops in TN. From there, he stated, "You need to sign up straight away (no pun intended) for the next available weekend workshop". I recall feeling so misunderstood by him for he'd not taken the time to get to know me and my story.
These world renown workshops cost thousands of dollars. I was already having to pay him hundreds of dollars for each therapy session, and this was money I didn't have to spend as well.
It made me feel tremendously used and unserved by the Christian community. Yet, I had no idea where else to turn for genuine help. It didn't take me long to stop honoring my appointments with him.
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As I've been engaged within the Samson Society virtual community, I've noticed that numerous Samson guys have leveraged their recovery work in the form of becoming certified recovery "coaches", etc. as a means to begin drawing an income from their past travails / regrets.
If you take a close look at Mr. Nate Larkin, Samson Society founder, you'll note that his intent was to create a community of men who could find needed support sans paying a fee. Nor did he pivot his vocation towards becoming a paid speaker or recovery advocate who might encourage (paid) membership into his recovery club.
I so admire him for taking this approach. To me, it's a clear reflection of his faith combined with an understanding / comprehension of the immeasurably large problem online porn is for so many men.
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I recognize that venues cost $$$, and that many guys love the notion of a recovery vacation of sorts. Especially as they find themselves well along within their individual recovery journey.
What's important to realize though is that for some of us, participating within Samson Society (meetings / following The Path) was (& continues to be) plenty sufficient. And as such, eventually, we begin / began giving back monetarily to provide support to a ministry that's ready and willing to meet newbies exactly where they're at (just as we once were met).
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Back in '23, I left the Samson Summit (10th anniversary gathering!) a wee bit early. As I was waiting for my ride outside the TX venue, I couldn't help but notice one of the workshop leaders climb into his brand-new top-of-the-line Ford F-150 truck. For he'd just gathered up his belongings (stowed inside the extended cab) and was gearing up to depart.
Frankly I was a bit shocked that a therapist would be driving such a costly vehicle. And I suppose it could have been a rental, but he was only traveling back to Mississippi as I was, therefore I doubted that.
Internet porn is practically free of charge. Strong, reliable BASELINE recovery resources should be the same. Many of us simply aren't willing or able to fork over sizable amounts of $$$ in order to access helpful resources. In turn, tenured Samson guys should be giving $$$ back on a regular basis.
Giving back (time & $$$) is good for the soul.
