Years ago, during the pandemic, I wrote a letter to my Silas' (then) boss, asking for permission to "surprisingly visit" their workplace (in light of the lockdowns). If I'm remembering correctly, I was attempting to gain permission to do this on my Silas' birthday. What I didn't realize at the time was his boss (along with his beautiful family) were visiting our church. Once he did eventually respond to me (letter), via email, he informed me of that (in line with an apology related to not being able to honor my surprise visit request).
My Silas' boss is now a formalized leader therein and loved / respected by the majority of the Presbyterian throngs (within our relatively small community church), and (I'm assuming) he and my (now former) Silas are still close friends. This man is a VERY NICE, no doubt godly, All-American male.
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I've been doing a lot of unconventional recovery work ever since the '24 Samson Summit. Blame it on Dr. Andrew Bauman, the shaman.
Recently, I've been listening to a long-form podcast that's shed an intense light on the actual men (day to day / historically) who participate in creating gay porn. It's been a most deconstructing experience for Rob as I've now been given the opportunity to see "up the skirt" of these fellows.
The best way to describe it is disconcertingly healing / disarming / disenfranchising.
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A business owner (same business as my father and I are in) approached me last year regarding his intent of formally acknowledging me as his heir apparent (he'd recently, prior to that dialogue, had begun realigning his book of business in anticipation of this).
This notion of me being identified as his successor took me off guard. For I'd only spoken a few sentences to this man over the previous decade (despite the fact that we worked four of those years within the same suite within our building).
From that point, we chatted casually a handful of times more as '24 progressed, and then, last week, we finally had our first sit down discussion pertaining to laying out a roadmap. As a takeaway, it was as if we'd known each other most of our lives (in spite of the 30-year age gap). I'd never experienced anything like it.
What possibly could have motivated him to choose me? I likely will never know.
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My former Silas' (former) boss is a longstanding neighbor and friend of our church's Senior Pastor. Arguably, it was that friendship that laid the groundwork for him and his clan to begin visiting our church all those years ago. Our pastor knows my story well, and so do numerous other men (in leadership roles) at Lakeside Pres, but what (obviously) stands out is the part about my (homo)sexual identity.
I remember well my former Silas mustering up the courage to divulge to me that "your sexuality doesn't matter to me" out of the blue. We were driving back from Laurel, MS, having spent most of the day at a CrossFit Box where I supported him therein during an all-day competition (he & his old friend won!). I wasn't sure what prompted him to say that to me and didn't feel so moved to ask.
Today, at the Y, I ran into my former Silas' (former) boss. I'm in that particular facility twice weekly and have been for years and years. Never had this unexpected collision happened before. Perhaps he was attempting to fulfill a New Years's resolution.
Man, was it awkward.
Nonetheless, I could feel the truth in the air: "Your sexuality does matter to me. Keep your distance, you (& your family) freak."
I'm willing to bet a dollar that he'll never step foot back into that facility.
What a week of contrasting adjudications.
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