"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #15

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It

 

 

Answer: I'm Content With The Status Quo. My Recovery Is Going Just Fine. As Such, I'm Not Interested In Retreating.

Here's the 2023 Samson Summit (10th anniversary of National Samson Society retreats!) itinerary / workshop breakdown:  

The Summit Schedule

On Property Activities Schedule of Availability: Tree Top Towers: 9 am - 12 pm and 1-3:20 pm Ziplines & Hatchet Throwing: 9 am - 12 pm and 3:40-6 pm Canoes & Giant Swing: 1-6 pm

Workshop Descriptions

WORKSHOP OPPORTUNITIES: SESSION ONE Processing Spiritual Abuse with Chris Inman If you’ve ever felt that you were a bad person in your spiritual life, then this breakout group is for you. Join us as we address many of the shaming aspects intertwined in religion. We will root out these lies while sharing an experience of God’s unconditional love and acceptance. In doing so you will see how to disempower much of your addictive struggle and take a great leap forward your recovery journey. Curious and Compassion: An IFS Approach to Addiction and Trauma with Don Williams Internal Family Systems (IFS) recognizes that as men created in the image and likeness of God (Imago Dei Self), we have parts that try to protect us from trauma and unwanted feelings. Instead of treating our addictive impulse as the enemy, we can learn to access Self so we can get to know the addictive part from a place of curiosity and compassion. Join us to learn how these parts make you whole and lead to healing. Rebuilding Marital Intimacy Through FANOS with Jim Ozgunduz It is very difficult to heal a marriage after betrayal. FANOS is a tool that has helped build trust by providing my wife and I a way to be vulnerable with one another. I am grateful for the opportunity to share how this tool can help you. Finding the "Why" In You Recovery with Patrick Peters Do you know why you're leaning into recovery?  Not why anyone else says you should, but why you want to do all this work?  Starting from Simon Sinek's "Start With Why" (the 3rd most popular Ted Talk of all time), we'll adapt those principles to recovery. Divorce, Recovery, Singleness and the Desire for someone to Play with Your Penis with Aaron Porter and Mark Shelley Recovery is challenging enough on its own, but what happens when you add in divorce and being single again? How do you navigate things like doing recovery just for you? Or dating and recovery?  Join us to share some stories and hopefully a bit of wisdom. WORKSHOP OPPORTUNITIES: SESSION TWO Complex Trauma and the Origin of Unwanted Behaviors: How What Happens Before Your 21st Birthday Sets You Up to Struggle and How to Get Your Life Back with Scott Cone This engaging and fast-past workshop will teach you about attunement, affect regulation and attachment…the three developmental A’s…and why these are so critical to to the formation of our minds, identities and relationships; what happens to us when these needs aren’t met and how this sets us up for turning to unwanted behaviors; and, walk you through practical strategies, processes and tools designed to help you heal the effects of trauma and recovery your authentic self. From Victim to Ownership - What does ‘Do the Work’ actually mean?” with Scott Tomlin Moving from understanding to application. Scott will discuss his journey and how he has made application to his daily routine, which has provided safety and healing for him and the primary relationships in his life. Processing Spiritual Abuse with Chris Inman If you’ve ever felt that you were a bad person in your spiritual life, then this breakout group is for you. Join us as we address many of the shaming aspects intertwined in religion. We will root out these lies while sharing an experience of God’s unconditional love and acceptance. In doing so you will see how to disempower much of your addictive struggle and take a great leap forward your recovery journey. Process Addiction" or Distress Reduction Behavior - Understanding the Differences and Why it's Important with Roane Hunter Process addictions are not the same as substance addictions. While substance addictions involve the use of drugs or alcohol, process addictions involve compulsive behaviors in the areas of sexual compulsivity, eating disorders, money (gambling/shopping), technology (iPhones, gaming, social media), reactive aggression, and reactive avoidance.  These behaviors have been labeled "process addictions" when, in reality, they are emotional distress reduction behaviors.   Addiction to a chemical substance has life-threatening physiological effects as opposed to distress reduction behaviors that produce negative psychological effects. The reactive avoidance trauma model is a theory of how trauma can lead to the development of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The model proposes that when a person experiences a traumatic event, they learn to associate the event with danger and threat. This association leads to the development of a fear response, which can manifest as avoidance behaviors, hyperarousal (anxiety), and intrusive (unwanted) thoughts. This workshop will help you understand the difference between addiction (chemical) and distress reduction behavior (emotional).  We will examine the roots of how reactive avoidance is based in emotional dysregulation, disattunement, and impaired attachment. Understanding Shame: We'll delve into the intricate layers of shame, its origins, and its impact on the recovery process with Roe Hunter Participants will gain valuable insights into recognizing and addressing shame in their lives. Building Resilience: Discover practical strategies to develop resilience in the face of shame and judgment. Through self-compassion and self-awareness exercises, you'll learn how to cultivate a resilient mindset. Distress Tolerance Techniques: Addiction recovery often brings about intense emotional distress. This workshop will equip you with effective distress tolerance skills to manage cravings, triggers, and challenging emotions without resorting to problematic behaviors. Group Support: Connect with others who share similar experiences in a safe and supportive environment. Share your challenges and triumphs, and draw strength from the collective wisdom of the group. Mindfulness and Self-Care: Learn mindfulness practices and self-care routines that promote emotional balance and enhance overall well-being. Discover how these techniques can be integrated into your daily life. Setting Realistic Goals: Explore goal-setting strategies that align with your values and recovery journey. Create a roadmap for your future with confidence and clarity. Interactive Activities: Engage in interactive exercises, role-playing, and group discussions to reinforce your understanding and application of shame resilience and distress tolerance concepts. Personalized Action Plan: Leave the workshop with a personalized action plan tailored to your unique recovery needs, helping you implement what you've learned in your everyday life. Whether you're in the early stages of recovery or seeking to strengthen your resilience along the way, "Embracing Resilience" is designed to support and inspire you. Reclaim your life, heal from shame, and develop the skills to tolerate distress without turning to addiction. Join us for this empowering workshop and take a significant step toward a brighter, healthier future in recovery.

Copyright (C) 2023 Samson House. All rights reserved. -------------------------- Question:  Why aren't more Samson Society guys from Mississippi attending the 2023 Samson Summit in Van, TX?   (Bless our hearts.) Lagniappe More lagniappe

Recommended Reading

Counseling for Normal Christians | Desiring God

Recommended Reading

The Christian’s Inner Power (thegospelcoalition.org)

Embrace The Idea Of Pivoting. Don't Limit Your Recovery To Only Samson Society.

 

Many of you have hit a wall within your recovery.  Attending Samson Society meetings and engaging with your Silas simply isn't cutting the recovery mustard (as it once was).

Have you ever attended a family reunion?  A worthwhile and properly administered generational get-together?  One where thoughtfulness has been put into the venue, activities, food, etc.?  

Many of you are (now) of the opinion that you're not necessarily on the same "freak / loser plane" as your localized Samson group attendees (they're from Mars, you're from Venus or vice versa).  Too, your dialogues with your Silas are no longer fresh.  And this is curtailing your willingness to be completely honest with him.  You know that both of these ugly truths are now working against your steadfast recovery, yet you're continuing to go through the Samson Society motions.

Have you ever walked into a CrossFit gym or stepped foot onto a court / playing field, only to feel especially in sync with the guys who were there too?  To the point that the moves you were making equated towards the entirety / synergy of the team?  

Within your recovery journey, many of you have found powerful tools - within Samson Society - relative to tamping down one specific vice, but perhaps some of you have now found that another, less familiar vice, has reared its ugly head (in its place) and is subsequently demanding attention.  And this latter vice, you've no idea what to make of.  All you do know is that it's exciting to participate in yet deeply disturbing simultaneously.  

Have you ever been people-watching, perhaps whilst sitting in your truck outside of a busy grocery store and spotted that guy.  That. Guy.  The one you'd like to sit down and have a cup of Joe with?  There's just something about his stride, what he's wearing, how he navigates the throngs.  All of this adds up to your finding something relatable / attractive about him.  And when he eventually exits the storefront, you (again) can't help but break into a smile as you watch him traverse the asphalt towards his own vehicle, all the while saying a silent prayer for him and his future well-being.

Do you wince at the thought of looking at yourself in the mirror one more time?  Feel way too self-focused.  Self-critical.  Self.  Self.  Self.  Self.  Self.

-------------------------

It may be time to segue towards some alternative recovery efforts, but I would argue only if you've not lost hope that recovery work comes in many different shapes and sizes.  Samson Society isn't a panacea.  It's essentially one "leading by weakness" man's (Mr. Nate Larkin) authorship of a tome that inspired an extremely horizontal, diversely approachable parachurch ministry that for many men is ONLY THE STARTING POINT.

God bless you, my friend, on your journey.  Sometimes hitting the wall is the very best move you can make.  

Don't forget to write.  

Recommended Reading

Deepfake Porn Is Out of Control | WIRED

Life & Other Thoughts - JR Everhart

I have recently lost several people in my small circle of friends.  Some my own age, which always forces me to look at my own mortality.  Considering that, I’m still not 100% done grieving the loss of both my parents in 2018, and I doubt ever will be.  But, my outlook is that death is a part of life in this world as much as living is, though death and dying do make me stop and evaluate what’s important within my life. 

I realize now that I've spent too much time worrying about making money and, in turn, attempting to care for the people in my life that I love and cherish.  Presently, I find myself spending a lot of time in deep thoughts of regret from mistakes of my past (even whilst considering a decade of recovery counseling resulting in life changing healing and restoration within my world).  As I've written about prior, I continue to fight shame and guilt.  To top that off, I ruminate on my current state of loneliness as a middle-aged man.  It's an unavoidable fact that middle-aged loneliness is a growing national epidemic for both men and women. 

Our modern world of online “community” has isolated us in ways that have never been experienced before in human history.  Today, so many receive their personal validation via how many likes they get or how many people wish them a Happy Birthday on via social media.  We’ve attached a falsified acceptance and self-worth to these things, all of which are built on shallow acts of admiration that blow around social media like the wind.  I find that there's is no real validation in these things. 

There has to be more to our lives!  We need connection and face-to-face interaction with people.  I used to work with a guy, years ago, that would stop everything to spend time a few moments with you.  He was very intentional about this.  I recall him stating that life is too short and subsequently, how important it was to take a minute and enjoy the company of others.  Looking personally, I'm the first to admit to wasting a ton of my life lost in toxic self-talk and climbing ladders that lead to nowhere.  I tell myself all the time that I need to get up and get moving.  That in itself, shakes off the ropes of dysfunction and bondage.  God created us to be in constant motion, and when we are, our mood automatically elevates.  I'm of the opinion that forward motion can be measured via the amount of love one has for themselves.  

As such, all this movement should make us cognizant of grace within our lives.   Life is too short to live any other way!