Recommended Viewing

 Barber Shaves Head in Solidarity With Coworker Diagnosed With Cancer (msn.com)

Recommended Reading - Sexually Transmitted Infections

Sexually Transmitted Infections: What to Know (msn.com)

I post this here in honor of a Samson man who was upfront enough with his brothers to divulge both his diagnosis and ongoing infectious disease treatment of a quite common sexually transmitted disease.

For what the article doesn't address is the emotional fallout that can ensue once the diagnosis is made.  Too, there's no mention of how the disease impacts one's marriage or future romantic relationships.  I had the privilege of seeing both as an eyewitness, and though it was heartbreaking to experience, it opened my eyes to truth that I'd no knowledge of prior.

Connections within the Samson community matter.  And I would argue much of their merit resides within the authentic narratives which unfold.  

I'm only had intercourse with one other human being (Angie), therefore I've no experience regarding a whole lot of complicated physical & emotional ramifications that many men face - who just happen to not have a sex life like my own. 

Someone needs to write a book of firsthand accounts related to contracting / managing "everyday" sexually transmitted diseases.

Recommended reading - The Gospel Coalition

 Alistair Begg: ‘Welcome to Exile. It’s Going to Be OK.’ (thegospelcoalition.org)

Recommended Reading - Desiring God post

 God Calms Our Sexual Insanity: The Seventh Commandment for Today | Desiring God

Recommended Viewing

The Frightening / Misunderstood World of Men

As a boy, I simply was terrified of the world of men.  Were it not for my grandfather, there would have been zero men in my family circle that I would have ingratiated myself towards out of trust and love.  And accordingly, this fear resulted in some sizable issues for young Rob.  For without finding comfort / peace within the circle of your same sex, boys must look elsewhere or exclusively inward.  And this is not at all healthy as a stopgap solution.

My Paw Paw (mom's father) was kindhearted and tender.  He hugged me whenever we encountered each other and similarly upon leaving.  Masculine posturing wasn't in his vocabulary.  This man was the epitome of non-threatening, therefore he was absolutely perfectly suited for little Rob.

Thanks be to God for my Paw Paw!

Nonetheless, I only saw him on occasion (mostly holidays), therefore my time with him wasn't nearly enough to overcome the confusing mysteriousness of manhood (particularly whilst reaching my teenage years).  Therefore, these fears simply expanded within my mind as I seemingly accelerated (begrudgingly) through adolescence towards adulthood.

-------------------------

As a result of this, one of the most difficult "manly" / masculine challenges for me as an adult was spending time in a gym.  Especially within the section / zone where the free weights, cable machines, benches, and so forth were stationed.  For the gym was a representation of that mystery of men for Rob because that was where (mostly) men intentionally came to exercise - alongside each other.

As a real world example, I think it's important for me to divulge here that I was drawn to the gym primarily because I truly wanted to overcome these fears, therefore the gym, I knew, could serve as a petri dish of sorts.  Plus, I knew how physically beneficial (good health) working out at a gym would be for me in the long-term.  It was a win-win situation.  So long as I could endure the consistent trepidation.

-------------------------

As a 48-year old man, I cannot tell you how gratifying it is to look back on how faithful I've been to physical fitness over the past 12 years (& then some).  Sure, the physical / psychological results are wonderful in and of themselves, but every time (even today) that I step into the gym, I'm reminded of how much irrational fear I used to face.  It's as if its aroma still lingers in and around the equipment.

Of course, God provided the cover over me to look this elephant in the eye.  Without his Spirit living within me, this fear would never have been overcome as it was.

-------------------------

My Silas is an athlete.  Obviously, athletes aren't nor ever have been scared shitless relative to the mysterious world of men.  Instead, athletes embrace this world.  For it's their comfort zone.  That being within organized, goal-oriented community.  

One of the most profound benefits of having this man as my Silas is I can lean into him when I find myself adrift relative to my understanding of the world of men.  

For example, I found myself yesterday experiencing a situation that befuddled me.  It was one that seemed abnormal to me after it occurred, but really wasn't abnormal in the least.  Particularly considering who exactly (the specific two men) was involved.  My Silas rectified this for me soon after I reached out to him for support / guidance.

When you spend your adolescence in the shadows as I did, you miss out on situations / circumstances that are / would be beneficial to fully comprehending the world of men.  This was / is Rob.  As a boy, I refused to risk being rejected by other young men, therefore my intentional isolation served to protect my fragile heart.  But there was a cost to taking this approach.  And that cost was as follows:  It set in motion my avoidance modus operandi, and eventually, this MO solidified into how Rob engaged with his fear.  And one could argue that as a result, my fear increased exponentially as a result of my reactionary acknowledgment.

My Silas did no such thing.  Not because he was any less fragile, but due to his recognizing how essential this process truly was to his well-being, growth, development - into (eventually) a grown man.

It is so shocking to me to have the Silas I have today.  For if you'd shared with me at my outset into the community of Samson Society here in Metro Jackson (back in August of 2014) that I'd be formally connected to this dude, I would have been stunned (& pretty frightened).  Too, I believe it's important that you know that he did not become my Silas 'till years of regularly scheduled formal junctures - one on one - took place.  Junctures that allowed each of us plenty of breathing room to gain enough trust in each other for the next step to proceed from.

My Silas represents, in so many ways, the most misunderstood / mysterious aspects of manhood that I did face / continue to face.  Therefore, it truly is an electrifying, iron sharpens iron relationship.  

Thanks by to God for my Silas!

The No Bull Briefing Newsletter - April 2021

 

Silas Appreciation Day Meme Competition July 5th is Silas Appreciation Day. To commemorate the day we are holding a meme competition. Submit your Silas Appreciation Meme HERE. The deadline for submittals is June 1st when we will turn over all memes to the totally unbiased firm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe for the selection of the winner. The top five memes will be featured in the June No Bull Briefing and the winner will receive a coveted Samson Society T-shirt. An Alternative Form for a Samson Meeting In 2008, several members of the Original Franklin Meeting wanted to go deep. They had several years of recovery and brotherhood through the Meeting Format and topic sharing. They craved cross talk. The question had been how to do it and maintain the safety of every man. It was a recipe for triggering.  They identified a groundbreaking book by Chip Dodd, entitled Voice of the Heart as the initial format for sharing feelings we carry every day. The eight feelings outlined in the book are Hurt, Sadness, Anger, Fear, Loneliness, Guilt, Shame, and Gladness. The initial impression you have is that all but one of these seem negative. As Dodd puts it, each are gifts for identifying ways to do self-examination in that there is a gifted side and an impaired side. Sometimes a man can check in on both sides of one emotion. Many times, a man identifies with the impaired side of one and the gifted side of another. They seem to come out differently from week to week in check-ins.  The eight feelings comprise the check-in. During the next segment, each man has the opportunity to “declare their work.” A structure was needed for that, and the Quaker Clearing/Clearance committee was chosen. When a Quaker man is faced with a decision or dilemma, they would seek a committee of men from their community. They would present the issue, and the men would ask questions intended for the man to have an opportunity to think through answers in ways he may not have thought of before. Frequently, the result is increased clarity for all of the men. Once each man declares his work, he states his willingness or unwillingness to work on it in a clearing. Many times, simply stating work brings clarity. After each man has made their declaration and willingness, a group conscience is taken by having the men lay hands on the shoulder of the man whose work they most identify with. In the case of a virtual meeting, those using the app will enter in the Zoom chat the name of the man whose work they identify with.  After the work is identified, from that point on, the man gives additional data and background information about the decision or struggle. This informs and instigates the questions. The group is careful to protect the man from leading questions. The man doing work may want opinions from those in the meeting. While this is not the purpose of it, if helpful a man may precede his opinion with the phrase, “in my judgment” in recognition of the possibility they don’t have a full enough picture of the work. The safety of the man is closely guarded and if the question is triggering or offensive, any man in the group may say so without fear of retribution from the rest. Each man’s story is valued whether there is agreement or not. Strictest confidence is observed and not violated at any time. What is said in the circle stays in the circle.  After two hours, the meeting wraps up and all are invited to the next one a week later at the same time, 6:30 am central each Saturday in person and online. The meeting link is posted regularly in Slack.  After a dozen years of meeting, the format has stayed largely the same, however, as the meeting became “church” for many men who have wounds from traditional forms of church assembly, a prayer, worship, and scripture reading element were introduced in 2018.  I have experienced tremendous healing over the years. My initial “work” involved four sessions in which I prepared for disclosure to my wife. I involved my counselor through the process, and the men brought much clarity as they helped me draft my disclosure in a way that presented all information in a factual manner with hat in hand. Aside from some breaks throughout the years, I have attended since.  If you wish to get more information, please email me, or find me on the Samson Slack channels, @Jay Spiegel (D5A).  Food for Thought Porn is not sex Sugar is not food Filtering is not beauty Gaming is not exercise Alcohol is not medicine Attention is not respect Comfort is not fulfillment Vitamin D is not sunshine Memorizing is not learning Help Us Reach More of Our OWN Men Many of the men in Samson Society in-person meetings are NOT in our database as members. Sadly, that means they are not getting the No Bull Briefing - we're missing them, and they're missing out. Ask the men in your group if they are getting the No Bull Briefing Newsletter. If they are not, go to the "My Groups" tab on the Samson Society website, if you are the administrator you can add them with name and email (you'll see a list of all registered members). If you are not, you will need to contact the administrator of your group and ask him to add them. Our best guess is there are several hundred men active in Samson Society but not yet members (only true for in-person attendees). Let's help them get on board and get up to speed! Please consider this Samson Society doesn't have dues or fees, but we DO have expenses. We currently reach men in over 40 countries and we are stretched thin financially. If you can make a generous one-time or, better yet, monthly contribution, that will help us continue to do what we do so well ... "rescue families by helping men live in the freedom of authenticity." You can make your contribution to the mission of Samson Society through Samson House HERE. Thank you!

SUPPORT@SAMSONSOCIETY.COM WWW.SAMSONSOCIETY.COM