Thursday, March 25, 2021
Wednesday, March 24, 2021
The Ear + Nose Hair Plateau / Rob, The Appreciating Asset
We mortgaged our Rankin county "garden home" abode (it was a never lived-in speculative home) back in late 2000. As such, starting during the fall of 2019, we began investing in replacing / renovating the building's envelope. In architect-speak that refers to the exterior - mostly.
Our home is (thankfully) around the average size of an American home back in the early 1970s, but despite that, it was still quite a monetary feat replacing the roof, repainting the trim, staining the front door, replacing the HVAC system, and adding insulation to the attic (along with new "catwalk" subflooring). Not to mention replacing some interior light and plumbing fixtures (purely aesthetics).
Our abode resides within a 'hood of 81 lots, and every home is jammed up against the other, therefore if one home looks unkempt, it disparages numerous adjacencies. Therefore, also being privy to this, we invested accordingly, and everyone benefitted.
On the flip side of this approach are automobiles. As a depreciating asset, there's no sense in having a car repainted or replacing the seats / dash with OEM parts once they've reached a certain lifespan. Cars have a certain shelf life and then they're replaced outright as their depreciation reaches its forgone conclusion.
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I'm 48, and at some point during my 40s, I began to grow long, black hairs from both within my ear canals and out of my ear lobes. As I've aged, they've become more numerous. To the point of having to have my 10-year old pluck them out once a month or so (if not more often).
I do not want hairy ears. For I remember distinctly seeing a man at First Baptist Church Jackson (the church I grew up in) as a child who had such the bush of hair growing out of his ears that I literally would freeze in my tracks whilst bumping into him. It was like someone had put a curse on him. An ear hair curse. And it was tragic. For the thickness and quantity of hair was such that you literally could not see the man's ear canal.
Now, when it comes to my nose, hairs of this same ilk grow verbosely from there as well. And as such, do know that I don't ask my 10-year old to pluck those out, but I do have to tend to these as well - on my own - quite often. And man, it freaking hurts extracting those from deep within my sizably proportioned proboscis. (Thanks be to God for tweezers.)
But all this weirdmo hairiness comes with age. And I'm okay with that.
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I'm feeling compelled to make a concerted effort to start (again) marketing the Metro Jackson Samson Society groups now that the pandemic is beginning to subside. As such, last night I was provoked to do so by reaching out to our local Christian colleges. Specifically to the Dean(s) of Students.
Yet, I'm a bit flippant to invest in this endeavor because I remember so vividly what it was like being a non ear / hairy-nosed man. Especially one who's on a collegiate track.
I was so cocky as a young man and full of myself. My Mississippi childhood had more or less been idyllic, and as such, my naivety was off the charts. I was essentially a spoiled brat only child who'd been educated at a private academy, put in mega-church every Sunday, and fed three wonderful meals a day by one-marriage parents who neither smoked nor drank nor cussed nor had criminal records. Our suburban (Madison) home / yard always looked like Martha Stewart lived there, therefore our neighbors suspected we were perfect.
We even had a black Labrador retriever named "Lil Gal" when I was young, and she was so sweet.
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There's a young, newlywed couple that reside on the street "behind" us who've been living there for a few years. They're both professionals who're currently expecting their first child. I see them walking around our 'hood fairly regularly with their beautiful golden retriever. Yet, just as I experienced last night, when I'm driving into our 'hood and I see him - especially - there alongside his wife, I simply want to veer the car towards him and [gently] mow him down. Not to kill him. Only to scare / frighten.
So last night, as my middle - driver's permit - daughter was driving us home from piano lessons, this opportunity to maim him presented itself. And I badly wanted to instruct my daughter to do this, yet it would have traumatized her too much - don't you think?
This young man whom I'd like to maim / traumatize is Rob made over. Cocky. We've interacted on numerous occasions, and it's literally like looking backwards into a mirror each and every time.
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So, where does this no ear / nose hair cockiness originate from?
I think it's a combination of things that bring it to the surface.
One is simply fear. Fear of the future / unknown. Another is a sense of accomplishment. The fact that you're married or a father or have a mortgage or a "good" job / professional license. All of these things are milestones that do present an opportunity for our young man identities to rest upon. The former though is usually cloaked / concealed by cockiness / arrogance.
There's also the sex during our younger man years. Most younger guys have strong libidos, and as such can see themselves as loverboys to their partners (either men or women or both). I can remember experiencing hypervigilant erections out the wazoo as a younger man. And so often these would simply appear out of nowhere, or I'd wake up with one. It was as if my dick was simply begging to be pleasured (which I willingly obliged).
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I love my ear / nose hair. Why? Because it represents where I'm at as a middle-aged man. There's no amount of money someone could give me to return to my younger man years. It wouldn't be worth it. To lose all of the knowledge / experience. To forgo the suffering and trauma. To not have the opportunity to reap the rewards of painstakingly renovating / restoring so much of my envelope - with my Heavenly Father's resources.
So, I will do my part and reach out to Belhaven and Mississippi College regarding the availability of our Metro Jackson Samson Society groups, and I'll do so with a subtle grin. Knowing what I know now about where these young Christian men are at. For I've lived it myself.
Please pray for me regarding both the execution and potential harvest via this endeavor. For this is new territory for Rob.
Tuesday, March 23, 2021
Craving Beauty - Where To Turn When Naked People Having Sex (Internet Porn) Is Off-Limits To Your Eyeballs
If you only see smut as simply wretchedness whose sole purpose is to usher your mind towards the fires of hell, you're over simplifying.
Sex was created by God, and this is not in Satan's best interest for us to remember.
Man / woman was created by God as image bearers of God himself, and this too is not in Satan's best interest for us to remember.
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One of the primary similarities between my Silas and I is our tendency to gravitate towards high-caliber beauty. And taking the purview of Samson Society into consideration, this primarily (for our contextual purposes) pertains to smut. Therefore, for he and I, we're likely going to be far more interested in top-tier sources of smut than anything minutely smitten with the aroma of homebrew, naked-people-next-door porn.
Why is this?
Because we're super intelligent, sophisticated gents. That's why.
No. I'm only kidding. It's just the way we're wired. But it's cool nonetheless, having this similarity.
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Last week, the Turners spent our Spring Break in Sandestin, FL. We've had the good fortune of visiting there many times in the past, but what was different this time around was our exact condo location relative to the beach. Due to last week's adjacency to the white sands, we spent more time than ever before either in the crystal clear Gulf waters or enjoying the sugary sand. The weather was stellar for March, and overall, it was a wonderful vacation.
As an aside, as you know, I'm an architect. And I'm also an automobile aficionado. It's important that you know that going forward.
For a number of years now, I've admired a beachfront condominium in Destin that truly is an architectural landmark. It's a standout for sure relative to the daring design language used. Plus, it also has retro appeal - to a degree, though the design is so strong that the building really cannot be pigeonholed as simply "retro".
This multi-story condominium building looks unlike anything in Destin / Fort Walton. And this is due to the daring design which had to have pushed the budget far beyond its milquetoast context (row after row of ubiquitous multi-story condominium buildings).
Taking that into consideration, one of the first things I took note of from our tenth floor Sandestin condominium balcony view was the profile of this architectural gem in the far distance - looking westward down the beach. It was a ways away, but indisputable. And this excited me greatly.
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Immediately upon our return to the Jackson Metro after my job loss from Delta State University (for breaking the institution's IT policy), I made an appointment to see a therapist who I'd heard speak a number of times at local gatherings of men. These few sessions with him started in late '13 and ended sometime in early '14 (he wasn't a good fit for Rob). Nonetheless, one of his insights in hearing my story consisted of me needing a creative outlet to counterbalance working at my family's insurance / financial services business. He was obviously taking my background in architecture into account, and this was no doubt low hanging fruit for him to consider / throw out.
What he failed to realize though is just how much Internet porn I consumed whilst working within local architecture firms - day after day after day - for hours on end. And mostly the same type of material. As if I truly had a bottomless pit within my mind for these strikingly beautiful images / videos.
It was almost as if simply working within a very creative industry amplified my craving for this smut.
Isn't that weird? Or maybe it isn't. Maybe it's reality. For I knew of a number of other creative types who were similarly "right brain moonlighting" just as I was there on my employer's dime.
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So, as you might have guessed, I did make my way down to the Edgewater Condominium building, following the beach due west to my destination. It was a somewhat distant journey, trudging through the sand, but well worth it - both times. In fact, the second time I paid the actual building an exploratory visit by walking right into the lobby, making my way upwards in order to walk some of the perimeter corridors along the west elevation. From there, it was simple to understand the floor plan. And I loved what I was experiencing. It was inspiring and so very beautifully executed. Hence, my appreciation for this gem was furthered along exponentially, and these steal aways became Rob's trip highlights.
As an architect experiencing a new building like this one (that's not a design commodity), it's akin to reading a few select chapters from a fellow author's novel - with great intent and respect - versus flipping through someone's mass produced romance story out of boredom.
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Did any of you take any of those "appreciation" classes in college in order to obtain an easy credit or two? I distinctly remember one of these being offered within the School of Architecture, and as you might imagine, it was NOT AT ALL part of the architecture students' (mine) curriculum track.
Looking at high production images of beautiful naked people having sex is akin to a sexuality curriculum. A curriculum that's laser focused on a topic that I'm so not fluent in yet want very much to be degreed in.
But, this methodology, though so very convenient and culturally relevant, isn't an option for me any longer. Too many people get hurt on the other side of the camera lens. Plus, I waste too much time consuming imagery that regales sinful behavior. And sinful behavior I'm called to avoid as a Christian. No matter how alluring. Beautiful. Compelling.
But it's freaking hard. Even today, I could so easily jump right back in. Jesus help me to resist by turning my attention to other sources of beauty / inspiration. Sources that make a positive impact on my psyche.
Sunday, March 21, 2021
Better Off Without (Long-Term) Samson Society Involvement?
Yesterday, during the Lakeside Pres' Samson Society after-meeting, a fellow Samson guy who's been involved for almost as long as I (here in the Jackson Metro), asked about another "oldie" who he remembered I'd befriended soon after this man's arrival "on the scene" of the First Baptist Church Samson Society meeting back in '14.
Instantly, I vividly recalled my last conversation with that man. And from there, I explained over breakfast that this guy haven't (during our last conversation) expected me to ask of him to chronicle (via a blog post) his experience being involved in this ministry for +/-3 hard fought years (before his eventual discreet exit). Instead, I suppose, in me reaching out to him, he was looking for a segue from Samson Society vernacular to whatever he felt might come next between the two of us as friends. And this despite the fact that we're geographically separated by quite some distance.
Many guys involve themselves in this ministry whilst holding their noses. These men look down on their involvement in Samson Society instead of seeing it as a privilege. Yet, they're committed to it - at least for a season. The "oldie" Samson guy that I referenced above stuck with it for a few years, driving to Jackson each Wednesday in order to be on time for the 6 PM meeting at First Baptist Church Jackson. Eventually though, he quit coming until +/-1 year later when he involved himself in some additional stupid behavior. And that, in turn, landed him back in the same Samson Society meeting - for another short stint.
And then, he was gone for good. As such, I'm willing to bet a dollar that he's not once mentioned / endorsed this ministry to anyone ever.
From there, a few years later is when I reached out to him as I mentioned above, asking him to do some chronicling (of his journey along the Samson Society The Path) for me. But, his reaction was less than reciprocal, to say the least. Yet, the root of that reaction harkened back to his approach to the ministry itself.
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How I would love to know how many men fall into the same category as this Samson guy. Men who truly experience a love / hate relationship with this ministry. Love it for what happens to and for me. Hate it that it exposes, metastasizes my needs via communal opportunity (meetings).
I know this particular "oldie" was an esteemed professional, and he was well positioned to advance quickly (had he not involved himself in mucho stupid). As such, his vocational ambition was only rivaled by his penchant for seducing (& eventually bedding) beautiful women. And man oh man, was he good at seduction.
Most men within our Metro Jackson Samson Society are not of this ilk. Now, I'm saying most, not all.
Samson Society is filled with men who're fucked up. Broken. And so forth. And we know it - through and through.
We're not the best and brightest. Bronzed children, for sure, if you catch my drift.
And this is a turn off to a lot of (mainly white) guys.
But for the rest of us, it feels like home. Especially here in Mississippi where there's just an awful lot of less than stellar.
Jesus' disciples would have fit right in within any one of our five Metro Jackson Samson Society groups. Do keep that in mind the next time you may feel so inclined to bittersweetly elucidate with us.
In closing, Samson Society as a ministry is not for everyone, but it is a ministry that is well positioned for many, many more than those of us who do choose to participate. Please consider joining us today.
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