Hone In On Their Masculinity

"When I work out hard at the gym, it makes me want to work out harder the next day.  I do this in order to get stronger." 

Spending time with my aforementioned Samson brother at the 2023 National Retreat was a major highlight.  He was thoughtful to seek me out immediately after arriving, and from there, we simply enjoyed breathing the same air throughout the weekend.

So much of our lives had previously been discussed, therefore knowing how special it was to simple BE TOGETHER, we seized the day(s) (with very little chitchat).

Though we'd shared photos, I wasn't certain as to just how athletically built he'd actually be.  

Keep in mind that the quote at the top of this post set the bar (expectation) for me.  He stated that early on into our friendship when I inquired of him regarding his relationship to physical fitness.  

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For me, visual masculinity equates to athleticism, and I believe this is the case for most folks.  I know, at times, facial hair takes the top spot relative to this, but for Rob, it's men existing in bodies that are honed to perform athletically.  A very close second to that is a quiet spirit. 

Unsurprisingly, my aforementioned Samson friend cited Sky Ranch's "Activity Center" (gymnasium) and how he and some other Samson guys had utilized it to compete athletically (during free time).

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Now that almost two weeks have passed since the retreat, I would be remiss to not mention how okay I am regarding our (once again) physical separation.  Why?

Moments with masculine men (especially so regarding close friends) carry such weight with me that they're like Rob being gifted a parachute whilst watching life's fuel gauge slowly descend.  And the chute isn't to descend me to the ground, but to make my way safely to the next plane.  

Hence, as of right now, I'm simply parachuting.  Slowly.  Deliberately.  Observing my surroundings unencumbered (out of doors) with eyes wide open.  

It's thrilling but also thought provoking as I make my way to my next flight, riding the columns of air throughout.  For I'm reminded that I no longer despise the fact that I'm not that guy.  Instead, I allow the friendship to bear the weight of my need towards identifiable yet quiet strength, repose and resolve.  For friendship is enough of a solution for Rob.  It's closeness, in particular, buttresses me where I'm weakest.