Friends of ours have an adolescent (homeschooled) son who's freaking them out via his interest in (compulsiveness regarding?) women's shoes.
How did this come about?
They've unintentionally barged in on him wearing mom's stylish dress shoes (buck naked) whilst lying down on his bed, and they've taken note of his Internet search history (images of stylish women's shoes).
This boy is the only biological child of this couple. He does have an older half-sister, but she's college-age and therefore out of the house throughout most of the day.
Their son isn't effeminate, but he has had a lot of trouble (sitting still / becoming distracted) excelling within a traditional (school) learning environment. Hence, he's spent A LOT of his time under his mother's wing, at home, while his peers were being educated within a classroom setting.
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Years ago, a Samson brother described to me how he spent a portion of his adolescence covertly trying on his grandmother's stockings as a sensual ramp up to masturbating therein.
As an adult, this man eventually ended up a convicted felon due to his penchant for voyeurism (Peeping Tom). This unsettling behavior (I would argue totally unrelated to his short-lived stocking fetish) unfortunately did grow forward out of adolescence. Being a schoolteacher at the time of his indictment, this criminal turn-on sent his educational career / family-life into a tailspin.
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My father spied on his only son (when I was an adolescent) until he was successful in confirming that Rob was indeed masturbating. From there, he immediately confronted me as if he'd never been a horny adolescent boy himself. As a result of this, I only redoubled my efforts to be covert whilst pleasuring myself. All the while, I unfortunately lost a tremendous amount of respect for my dad. For it was one of those critical moments where I was almost more ashamed for him relative to his ridiculously incompetent parenting skill (regarding this specific milestone) than actually how I came to feel relative to being singled out like some teenage pervert.
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When Bill Clinton was POTUS, he appointed a black woman, Dr. Jocelyn Elders, to be Surgeon General. She may have been the first black female to do this, but her appointment was short-lived due to her views on educating children regarding all forms of sex education (including masturbation).
This occurred in 1994.
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I had a Samson brother dismiss the notion of him being qualified to rear a son due to his fear that the boy's scheduled puberty would inevitably cause the dad to crater relative to becoming sexual with his son. And this man had no history of either being molested or molestation.
Nonetheless, he did rear two daughters and is now a grandfather (of an adolescent grandson).
I'm convinced the gaping holes within this man's own upbringing, as it pertains to being respectfully educated regarding all manner of male sexuality, had left a sizable blind spot. A blind spot that somehow put him on some sort of private, moral blacklist. Therefore, he'd convinced himself that ignorance via poor nurturing had carried forward into parental disqualification.
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When a boy moves into puberty, a lot of frighteningly fast physical change is taking place, but the most shocking one is his penchant for experiencing sexual arousal. And those experiences won't necessarily have a rhyme or reason.
Let's remember too that adolescent sexual arousal is a whole-body experience. In turn, traveling down that particular rabbit hole of pleasure (via masturbation) is also going to involve the entire body for the teen. Hence, it is, by default, a nuclear-scaled experience.
And this is why it is so important for adolescent boys to have an older, trusted male in their corner to help them put proper words to what they're experiencing and why (especially when unexpected bodily fluids start showing up).
And yes, even if they enjoy masturbating whilst wearing their mother's high heels.
In closing, what's so very polarizing about Dr. Jocelyn Elders is that as a black female, she actually had the guts to address these topics - for the record - running headlong into political / societal controversy.
Considering that, I have to wonder.
What if she had been a he (Dr. Jock Elders) and preferably white. Would some semblance of a productive dialogue been kickstarted back in 1994?
In closing, shouldn't it be influential men from their positions of power / authority doing this sort of heavy lifting?
For the majority of us had a youthful masturbation experience similar to the one I had with my own dad. Hence, there're bound to be chronic blind spots throughout the manosphere that most of us can relate to.
Why isn't this topic being addressed publicly with some needed care / respect? Particularly considering the ridiculous ease of access to pornographic material that's been part of western culture for decades now.
Enquiring minds want to know.
(& btw, whilst looking back, I wish I too had been wearing my mother's high heels when Robert, Sr. decided to spy, yet again, on me as the overly horny adolescent.)
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