Recommended Reading - I Love This. It's A Powerful Reminder Of God's Calling On Our Lives As Christian Men.

The Forgotten Habit: Fellowship as a Means of God’s Grace | Desiring God

You've Been Active Within Samson Society One Year, Where Do You Go From Here?

I believe the first item to consider regarding your involvement within this unique parachurch men's ministry is your own personal wiring.  Are you at all wired to give of yourself?  If so, moving forward with Samson Society (meetings, retreats, serving other men as a Silas, etc.) absolutely will be smooth sailing / no doubt blessed by God.  If you're not the giver other guys are, it may be best to consider changing your approach.  Also, are you / have you remained comfortable with the format of the meetings?  If so, you're in good company.  I've been involved in Samson Society since 2014 and the format hasn't changed (though there are a handful of Samson sub-type formats now available).  If none of these suits your fancy, there're plenty of other parachurch men's ministries that offer other meeting formats.  I'd encourage you to explore those going forward (versus stepping out of recovery completely).

To expound on my first question:

Example:  You're the Samson guy who's not shared his (summarization) story with anyone within this community of men (over the course of one year), and you're constantly regurgitating (repeating) your travails ad nauseum relative to your continued plight.  And you see nothing awry with either of these facts...  

Too, you've not asked anyone for their story / actively worked to honestly befriend other Samson men.

If this is you, you're likely not a giver.  And that's okay.  Perhaps it best that you consider moving on in order to make room for someone else.  I'm of the opinion that Samson Society is primed for men who give freely of themselves.

I realize that may sound harsh, but this community isn't a good fit for every man.  Plus, timing is everything.  Hence, you may not be positioned as of late to give.

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Secondly, considering your "giving spirit" (we're making that assumption going forward), now that one year has passed, what can you now do / feel prepared to do relative to utilizing that giving spirit (on behalf of the community) that you could not have done at your outset?

Example:  You recognize where you're at with your own personal recovery enough to "branch out" and engage with new and fresh Samson groups (face-to-face / virtual).  Or, you choose to support Samson Society by facilitating a group.  Or, YOU BEGIN FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING SAMSON SOCIETY VIA A MONTHLY GIFT.

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Thirdly, you obtain a Silas.  

I myself didn't obtain my first Silas 'till 16 months into my Samson Society involvement (though I began serving as a Silas very early on).   

There's a lot of chatter about arbitrarily choosing another Samson guy to be your Silas at the outset, but it's malarkey.  I wouldn't attempt that approach.

Silas relationships are built solely on attraction.  Attraction between Samson men is built on respect.  Respect is a broad term.  Men usually respect each other based on aspiration / shared interests & goals.  It takes time for attraction to be recognized as distinct combined with time to muster the courage to ask another man to be your Silas.  Now that one year has passed, it's time to do just that.

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Fourthly, you need to take stock.  If you started this journey by challenging yourself to attend (90) Samson Society meetings in (90) days or somesuch, that's all well and good.  But now that one year has passed, you need to stop and think about what your needs are going forward.  

Because Samson Society is jam-packed with Type A extroverts, you're likely going to hear plentiful amounts of commentary regarding "what you need to do next", but this is all horseshit.  There's no set order of operation within this ministry.  That's why it offers so much continually (& on repeat).  

Perhaps it's time for you to throttle back on meetings?  Maybe it's time for you to write you story.  Perhaps it's time for you to attend the National Retreat, begin actively listening to the Pirate Monk podcast, reading recommended books, attending an Intensive weekend.  And on and on...

Take stock.

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Lastly, and this one's depressing to cite, you've got to stick with your guns relative to why you're here (you're here for your recovery).

Samson Society has a sister org dubbed "The Sarah Society".  Modeled after Samson Society, it was established to serve wives of Samson guys.  Unfortunately, it's been rife with interpersonal conflict (gossip) that's impacted its effectiveness.  

Having been a part of this community of men for one year, you've now officially "been around the block" with a posse of broken men.  You've met with them weekly (sometimes on more than one occasion), therefore you know them & their situation quite well (particularly considering the personal content).  You may have even traveled to an Intensive weekend that many of them too were a part of.  

Lots and lots of good 'ol fashioned together time!

And this can breed the temptation to "cross pollinate" (gossip) between Samson friends.  Do not fall into this trap.  

As your mother once said, "If you don't have something good to say about someone, don't say anything at all."  And to add to that, don't be divulging details (without their explicit permission) about other men's stories to other men.  Instead, stay focused on the man - at hand - and his story, his needs, like one of many sub-folders on your desktop.

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In summary:

1.  Are you a giver?

2.  What are you equipped to do now versus where you were at a year prior?

3.  Obtain a Silas.

4.  Take stock of your recovery.

5.  Avoid gossip / tribalism / falling into a Samson clique of guys (this is not middle school)

Recommended Reading

Find Your People . . . Offline (thegospelcoalition.org)

Samson Society Newsletter - April 2023

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING - April 2023

Dive Deeper with Non-Traditional Meeting Formats In my in-person meeting, we have been experimenting with a few departures from the traditional meeting format. These departures were always done for a reason - in this case, to encourage guys to become open and transparent with their brothers in the meeting. VARIATION #1: STORY TIME Our first experiment was getting people to tell their story to their brothers. All of it. Unvarnished. This is a firghtening proposition for some people, but an important step in your recovery. The second week of every month is "story time." Someone volunteers to tell their story in the meeting, usually a week or two in advance. We do an abbreviated opening to the meeting. We make sure to pray and remind everyone about strictest confidence. Then the story teller for the evening has the floor - for the remainder of the hour if he wants. Everyone else gets to listen while he shares and throws everything he can out on the table for all to see. In whatever time is left (we seem to run long on story nights), everyone else gets to comment and ask questions, always with nothing but love for the guy that just shared. It's cross talk that wouldn't normally be allowed in a meeting, but we allow it in this setting because it is really important to feel support after you just took the risk of sharing all of your dirt. No one is instructing the storyteller, just supporting him. If someone has a burning need to share something they have going on, that's allowed to. The amount of honesty and transparency in our meetings has improved since we started sharing our stories. Honesty and transparency breeds more honesty and transparency. The bar is rising with every brave act of sharing. VARIATION #2: A SILAS CHECK-IN MEETING Every week we talk about checking in with your Silas and talking about what you're feeling, thinking, doing, and thinking of doing, but some guys don't have a Silas yet. Not every Silas uses those four questions to start a check-in. So we decided to do a Silas check-in meeting: we go around the room and everyone tells the group what they are feelng, thinking, doing, and thinking of doing. We also provide the feelings wheel to help guys put words to their feelings. It was a struggle for some, but a good struggle, and is a useful exercise in being vulnerable and honest. Our hope is that in the process we can get some guys paired up with a Silas if they don't have one already. If you have any questions about these non-traditional meeting formats, please contact me on Slack (user "Patrick"). Nate Visits the Unleash the Man Within Podcast Nate Larkin recently sat down with Sathiya Sam on the Unleash the Man Within podcast to discuss how seminary actually worsened Nate's addiction. LISTEN Help Us Chronicle the Summit We are in search of a videographer or team of videographers to help us capture the events of the Samson Summit (both the presentations as well as b-roll footage of gatherings and activities). Whether it's your career or a hobby, contact us if you are interested in learning more information.  What Happens When Meetings Get Icky or Sticky? Join us on Tuesday, May 30 from 7-9 PM CT for our second of three meeting host training sessions. During this session, hosts by Roane and Roe Hunter will cover how to navigate those awkward moments in a meeting when things get icky or sticky.  REGISTER Are You a Good Salesman? We are looking for men interested in helping Samson House raise funds necessary to support Samson Society's endeavors and events. If you can sell ketchup popsicles to a lady in white gloves or ocean front property in Arizona then please consider joining our new volunteer fundraising committee. If you are interested or have questions, please reach out to Tom Moucka for more information. REGISTER March 2023 Meeting Host & Sub Winner Thank you Randy Brash for hosting the virtual Freedom on Fridays meeting! We would like to give you a one-time 25% discount in the Samson swag store as a thank you for donating your time and talents! Please check your email inbox for your discount code. Each month we will draw one name, so be sure to complete the host form online every time you host or sub a meeting to be entered in to the drawing. You receive one entry for each time you host or sub during the month. Become a Sustaining Member of Samson House Samson House exists solely for the advancement of Samson Society. In order to keep Samson Society free, we need individuals committed to providing monthly financial gifts. We do not have dues, but we do have expenses. Please consider becoming a monthly financial contributor to Samson House, and help us keep the (metaphorical) lights on. Suggested donation is $20 a month, but please do not let that limit you if you are able to give more.  DONATE Regional Retreat Opportunities Planning a regional Samson retreat? Let us know at samsonhouseoffice@gmail.com or drop it on the #upcoming_event channel on Slack so we can help you spread the word! Come enjoy the community, honesty and vulnerability of sharing your story with other Samson brothers who are looking to connect and heal. The cost for this retreat is $425. This price includes lodging for three nights, excellent food and beverages, training materials, an opportunity to hear other men’s stories, as well engage your own story in a safe and attuned way. For more information, contact Chris Inman at chris@np-recovery.com REGISTER LEARN MORE Monthly Resource Corner Each month, Samson Society will promote a resource that you may find helpful on your journey. Feel free to share any podcast episodes, blog posts, books, or documentaries that you find enlightening!  The Sexual Attachment Conference At some point in our lives, each of us will encounter difficulties in our sexual life. It might be a compulsive use of unwanted sexual behavior or a struggle to locate any sexual desire at all. No matter what sexual story you find yourself in, this conference will guide you to identify the key attachments that keep you stuck. Sexual desire issues are common, but they can also be a roadmap to healing. Through the teaching of therapists Jay Stringer and Adam Young, you will learn: How to identify your attachment style How attachment shapes your sexual life How to understand your arousal template How to transform your sexual story This virtual conference occurs May 5, 6, and is designed for men and women, couples, and small groups who are hoping to connect the dots between unresolved pain and unwanted choices. REGISTER USING THE CODE BulkSAC2023 FOR $50 OFF LEARN MORE Connect with us on social media! DONATE

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