Ultra-Christian families, based on my experience, are typically those who homeschool their children. At least this seems to be the case in the Deep South. I realize there're homeschooling families in other parts of the country (& certainly even in the Deep South) who're not necessarily wanting to quarantine their children from heretical influence. Instead, they're simply interested in a "superior educational experience" (their words). But all-in-all, this doesn't seem to be the case here.
I'd never spent any time with homeschooling families 'till Angie and I reproduced (almost two decades ago). And it was only through my wife that I came to first rub shoulders with these folks. Angie had started a "playtime" club for new moms, and it was this club that broadened our horizons therein.
During my wife's first pregnancy, she began reading books on homeschooling, and I was fully supportive of this. Being a contrarian, I saw no harm in it. But then, once our oldest was close to school-age, we began engaging directly with the homeschooling community (here in the Jackson Metro) via their formal, hyper-Christianized activities. Immediately, there was a strident sense to bolt from the premises, and it all came down to feeling ultra-Christian (which I am most definitely NOT).
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Angie and I were both educated within private schools. I attended Madison-Ridgeland Academy K-12, and she attended both a private Presbyterian elementary school in Hattiesburg + Jackson Academy for middle / high school. Our parents chose this route in order to segregate us from black children. Plain & simple. But too, Angie folks wanted her rubbing shoulders with offspring of rich folks as well (Jackson Academy).
My experience therein was terrible. Not only was my overall education paltry at MRA, but the lack of diversity (there were only 45 in my class) within the school was stifling. Angie's experience was far better, and this was mainly because Jackson Academy's approach to educating white children was far more serious (many of the parents of her classmates were prominent attorneys / doctors with high expectations for their children).
We've chosen suburban public schools to educate our three little sinners, and we've no regrets. Primarily, we did so because
- public schools are free of charge
- we believe strongly in integration (diverse community within our community)
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My heart hurts for children who're reared within ultra-Christian households who then set off into the world worse-off for it. And obviously, this isn't an across-the-board occurrence, but it does happen. Often.
A lot of off-the-cuff criticism of homeschooling has to do with children being starved of the socialization construct. I've not witnessed that to be the case. Instead, what I've seen is a deep-seated identity crisis within these guys because too much emphasis was placed on they themselves whilst growing up.
In other words, it's as if homeschooled children are cursed to live out the life of only children (no siblings) even if they're members of sizable families.
And I can speak to that because I am an only child.
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To summarize and speaking solely from my experience as an only child, the curse of being an only is anchored in the word assumption. Assumption based on observation / familiarity.
Parents typically do not want to "cover their children's bases" (assume the worst) because this is the hard part of being a parent. Instead, and especially if the child is a well-oiled component of the cooperative (only or homeschooled child), they'd rather assume (erring on the "for the best"). But as we all know, assumptions - particularly those made about those we love - are often just "manifestations of affirmative thinking" versus reality.
Too, parents of only children, I'm convinced, are essentially cursed. Cursed to never accurately remember their own stupidity (stupid is a verb) in childhood. It's as if that part of their existence becomes a massive blind spot unless / until they reproduce (at least) once more.
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Last weekend during the 2022 National Samson Society retreat, I met a lot of Samson guys who I've grown to admire within the virtual Samson Society group "Make Thursdays Great Again". One of these had shared - in writing - his story with me this past Spring. After reading that precious work, he and I chatted once (dialoguing specifically about his story) and from there, continued on within our communal (virtual / long-distance) friendship. But after meeting him face-to-face last weekend (& subsequently re-reading his story yesterday), my mind was blown relative to how much I actually missed during my first-time through.
This was eye-opening due to how integral it was that I actually meet this Samson guy in order to see him more fully. Especially considering his taking the time to share his written story with me months prior to last weekend.
And this metaphorically points back to the curse.
It was my assuming based in well-oiled componentry (virtual meetings) that successfully diluted my attention to character detail. For I simply could not see this Samson guy 'till I met him face-to-face.
So, I suppose another analogy to my homeschooled scenario is sort-of a Brady Bunch (Zoom) family in lieu of a real one.
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Samson Society is by no means queued up for ultra-Christian men, and I'm so grateful for that. And this is because in order to be part of the community, you are expected to lead with weakness. Weakness that's more often than not anchored in sexual brokenness.
Has there ever been an ultra-Christian homeschool where that topic was front & center? If so, Mr. Nate Larkin would be a fantastic guest lecturer.
How do children raised and educated in segregated ultra-Christian settings, whether home school or private school, cope with their public lives as adults? I wonder how they relate to people when they have to enter an integrated work environment and what biases they bring with them. How many struggle to change their world view? Or do they just stay stuck where they were placed in their childhood? And I wonder how many wind up seeking churches that mirror the same protected environment.
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