The Director of the YMCA branch we frequent asked me specifically - a few weeks ago - if I was planning to take part in the 2022 "Polar Plunge", a charitable February (winter) swim event (in the Y pool). I replied by asking him if he would be participating in turn. He said yes. But when I asked if he would be swimming in the chilly pool waters shirtless, he replied by describing himself as a "fat slob", therefore no.
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There's little off limits relative to dialogue content / subject matter within / between Samson Society / Samson Society men. Although I have found that most men rarely, if ever, disseminate details regarding their marital bed (sex life w/ spouse). And I believe this is because it's simply too frightening to be THAT transparent. Combine that with the fear of being seen as NOT THE VERITABLE STUD that we'd hoped everyone would assume we are - within our master bedrooms.
You do hear more and more about spouses sleeping apart (somewhere on their property), and undoubtedly, they're always quick to allay their audience's fears that their sex life has been - in any way - negatively impacted.
I read an article recently where the husband slept in the backyard with the wife back in the master suite. And he did this - no doubt - with a weighted blanket, inside his pup tent.
I would argue he was likely obtaining quite the masculinity injection via his nightly stay-at-home scouting, and this quickly took precedent over the typical convenience of having his lovely wife by his side.
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One of my favorite questions to ask Samson guys is this: What brings on (activity) the most intense feelings of masculinity for you?
My first Silas had (13) biological children (no twins), and his wife wanted more. Of course, there was no need for me to even ask this question. The answer was obvious.
I believe most men feel intensely masculine when they're engaging sexually with certain other people (hopefully their wife). But, in light of that assumption, I've also served as Silas to a man who'd only had intercourse with his wife 3-5 times. And he'd been married to this same woman for +/-30 years. And it wasn't that he didn't feel masculine being sexual with certain women, but it just so happened that his wife wasn't one of those women.
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One of the weirdest things about being open about my struggles with same-sex attraction (homosexual desires) is how some guys cannot NOT feel insecure (especially if they're younger than I am) around me. Hence, if they're married, some of them will consistently (& I've known many of these men for years) make a point to reference how much they enjoy their regularly sexual programming within their marriage bed.
And I have no reason to believe otherwise when they repeatedly tout the vigor and sizzle they're regularly experiencing between the sheets.
It's these same guys who sometimes ask me that hypothetical question: "If you could - overnight - be rid of your same-sex attraction / homosexual desires, would you do it?"
Whereas what they're really saying is: "I so do not trust you, and this is because I cannot relate to both who you say you are and what you claim to be experiencing."
And this stems from the authentication of their masculinity via sex - with their wives - within the marriage bed.
For if I'm not receiving it there, and I'm not having sex with other men, where could I possibly be receiving it?
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I'm not a woman nor have I ever felt at all womanly, therefore I cannot speak for them, but I do know that many Samson guys have wives who oblige to sexual activity with their husbands - out of "necessity". To be more specific, they're willing to be sexual with their husbands in order to lessen the chance that he'll look for sexual pleasure elsewhere.
I've heard men, who've allowed me the privilege of being their Silas, state clearly that they'll fuck anything if they're given the opportunity. Hence, it's not the reaction of the recipient that matters. It's the opportunity.
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What I want to recommend to married Samson guys, who are sexually active with their wives, is the following:
If you're ongoing goal is to carry on a vibrant sex life with your wife, take pride in what you physically bring to the experience.
Start by remembering this: You were meant - as a man - to be muscular. If you're not muscular today, your physical build isn't static. All it takes is know-how and motivation.
Your testes do certainly create (or they should) sperm (for reproduction), but they also manufacture testosterone. The latter of which is what physically promulgates muscle growth in response to strength training.
You do have control over both what you eat, how often you eat, and how much you eat. Your mouth is there to communicate verbally and eat with. You have full control over both. (It also works in breathing, but...)
Exercise is powerfully effective at making your body decidedly more physically attractive to your wife. Closely monitoring your food intake works the same.
And this truth must be embraced / committed to 24/7/365 with no days off. Ever.
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We still send out those Xmas cards with the family photos on them each year, and in return, others do the same. We received one this year from a family we've known for most of our married lives (25 years). The couple have four children, and we first met them within a newlywed Sunday School class at Colonial Heights Baptist Church not long after we were married.
What a beautiful family they are! And I'm so pleased to see that their marriage endured.
But I can't help but immediately notice the dad / husband - sticking out like a sore thumb - who'll also not be taking his shirt off at the "Polar Plunge".
Summer 2022 (here in the northern hemisphere) is fast approaching. Align your physical self in anticipation of looking your very best.
You are an image bearer of the most Holy God.
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