Your willingness to be vulnerable and subsequently feel a plethora of emotions alongside another man is key to success relative to your relationship with your Silas. If you're incapable of "speaking that language" of vulnerability with another guy, this is likely going to keep you from benefiting, as other men might, from the Silas relationship.
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As a child, vampires were significantly interesting in Rob's life. Starting with "Dark Shadows" (my grandmother let me watch), I became intrigued. Or maybe a better word is engrossed.
Vampires must be invited into a person's life. There's a formal introduction and willingness to trust that must occur. Otherwise, they'll have to move on. I can remember thinking that was such the humanizing move regarding vampire lore.
Now, you may be thinking this analogy between vampires and your pick for a Silas is fraught with ridiculousness, and I get that. That being said, I do believe holiness via relational accountability can be obtained, but it must involve a deep seated trust (rooted within an emotional connection) in someone who ultimately will gain entrance to an authoritative relational position which may very well result in your demise.
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IN MY DEMISE?
Yep.
Why do you suppose so many men never obtain a Silas to begin with, or even more intentionally, never make a commitment to attending meetings on a regular basis?
They fear someone turning on them, and using the information they've shared against them down the road.
I mean you can recite "...in strictest confidence" all you want, but there's nothing stopping someone from actively working to devastate / tarnish the reputation of a Samson man. There is no law enforcement or vindication brigade waiting in the wings.
That being said, I've personally never witnessed any acts of sabotage or retribution within the Samson Society, even when men were personally butting heads, and said head butting happens fairly often. We are men after all.
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Vampires feed on their victims 'till their victims are cursed to transform as well into undead creatures of the night. Again, another great analogous similarity between Count Dracula and your Silas.
Influence.
For quite some time, I've used a simplistic sketch to illustrate this with various Samson men.
And then I'd say something like this: "This illustrates the upper echelon (I'd quite often say that because I love to use big words) of a Silas / Silee relationships. A piece of my heart is grafted over to your own and vice versa. Hence, we no longer rely solely on our own individual hearts / selves as we walk through this season of our lives."
And this would usually be succeeded by an awkward silence by my "Silee" with him likely wondering to himself why exactly he chose to get caught up with the gay guy.
Nonetheless, there's a lot of truth to this illustration. Over time, this seemingly supernatural strengthening between the two men does occur, and you take note of it when you're by yourself, whilst remembering what being by yourself would often feel like (& as a result "act out" like) pre-Silas. That being, not what it feels like with your Silas in tow today.
I hope I'm making some sense here. Ultimately, this is an emotional gig.
Here's a wide-angle lens example, yet not so specific that I'm pointing anyone out.
Certain men come into Samson Society and start efficiently / effectively / demonstratively emoting in and through all of the men around them. Whether it's timing or not, for whatever specific reason, at the outset of their relationship with the Society, they're able to feel through (like a conduit) this manly setup / paradigm. And these emotions run the gamut, and as such, often these guys feel too much too fast because they seem to connect (as described above) to everyone around them simultaneously.
It's as if these men need the presence of other men to interpret / decode their own emotional state of mind, yet with too many all around at once, this can result in them feeling as if they've found their virgin self within a coven of blood suckers.
I find that these men are often deeply invested in hot sex (with their wives), and as such, oftentimes (pre-Samson Society) relying solely on those sex acts to intensely emote. And that's wonderful until they realize that they're the type of guy who would benefit - across the board - from emoting a whole lot more often than just when the sex is happening with his spouse (or perhaps using porn).
My point is men who are involved in relational accountability do so in and through their feelings, therefore due to the weightiness of said feelings, the duality baked into the friendship carries the load with much more ease than one would alone.
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In closing, why are vampires allowed into someone life? What motivates someone to grant these bloodthirsty beings permission to step inside of their world?
Because that individual wants to become one themselves.
On some level, they're privy to their desire to become part of that family of night dwellers.
No longer satisfied with their humanity, they're willing to give up their mortality for the super sensory experience which can only come via succumbing to the macabre existence of the supernatural.
Plus, vampires are just cool.
But not to everyone. There are plenty of guys out there who simply see them as yet another threat.
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