Literally, I was so embarrassed at my supposed fate, that I refused to go to my parents (who were in the adjacent game room) for assistance with my choking. Therefore, I hacked and coughed as I contorted and seized, and eventually, seemingly miraculously, the chili dog bite came back up.
And, as you can imagine, it scared the hell out of me.
From there, I calmly exited the bathroom, discarded my remaining chili covered frankfurter and quietly nibbled on a few chips over in the corner of the room.
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A Samson friend had a near death by drowning experience whilst whitewater rafting (perhaps on the Ocoee River, if I remember correctly). I'm assuming it was while he was a college student for that was the first time I ventured down that particular river. In line with his tale, I can definitely recall my first time down the Ocoee, one of the young women who was with us became trapped (via wedge) under the rapids directly beneath our raft after unexpectedly getting thrown out. I'll never forgot her terrified countenance as the water zoomed over her slightly submerged head. It took one of the strongest men onboard to free her from the current. After being lifted back in by her life jacket, it was clear that she'd had enough of rafting for her lifetime.
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One of the first architectural firms I worked at had a handful of interior designers on staff. These ladies took charge of the interior finishes within the three-dimensional space we architects designed. One, in particular, was a few years my junior. She'd quickly become a friend of mine due to the fact that we were hired very close to the same time at this particular firm.
One day, I traipsed into the break room to eat my lunch, and she was there too. But on this day, something was undoubtedly wrong due to her obviously being distraught. Unfortunately, she'd just received word that her boyfriend was dumping her unexpectedly. The young man was a successful local businessman who was both handsome and extremely well-liked within the community. My colleague was visibly shaken as she talked incessantly to me about her shock and outrage. I listened patiently, but I could tell then by her countenance, this was going to have a lasting impact, and that really, there was nothing I could do to diminish that except listen prayerfully.
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I've talked to Samson guys who've spent years marred in chronic sin, only to finally admit to themselves (& perhaps a few others) that the motivation behind that sin was powerful negative emotions resulting from emotional near death experiences, many of which involved rejection of some sort. This proves that rejection is a huge deal that Satan is adept at taking full advantage of. Therefore, along those lines, sexual fantasies fueled by Internet porn are often easily justifiable within men's minds whilst in a state of relational rejection / outrage.
No doubt within a marriage, there are two means of losing one's spouse, and those are death and divorce. Both result in searing loss, but it's the latter of the two that truly takes its emotional toll because again, there's that "R" word.
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My wife is currently rehabilitating from the stroke she suffered week before last. She's here in Jackson at Methodist Rehabilitation Hospital, and thankfully, I'm able to visit with her at dinnertime each day. Last week, she was at St. D where she was being intensely care for each and every day. Therefore, the house definitely feels lopsided without her here, though in my mind I know she's not geographically far away at all. Where we're both at as a couple certainly qualifies as a near death experience that's affected us both, each in its own way.
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Never have I eaten a chili dog since that fateful day back in high school. I doubt too that my Samson friend who almost drown whilst whitewater rafting has ever ventured into that particular outdoor recreational activity since. And those decisions makes good sense.
But what of those individuals who'll refuse to attempt to relate on some (or perhaps any) level to other people in light of the prior rejection they've experienced? What of those who'll choose to never darken the door of the church house or small group in light of their past pain? Along those same lines, what of those who'll refuse to date or attempt to ever step out on a relational limb whatsoever, all because they refuse to expose themselves to the horrific reliving of past traumas? As Christians, is it morally wrong of them to cower back out of protection, or should they push through that fear instead? Along those same lines, is it ever justifiable for them to medicate their situation with Internet porn fueled sexual fantasy?
And finally, what exactly is Satan trying to achieve whilst exploiting our past pain?
Near death is a big deal. (I believe I've already said that.) The impact varies tremendously, and unfortunately, I believe, Satan is attentive to these "life challenges". There's no doubt he sees them as opportunities to gain ground relative to the battle that's oftentimes raging within our emotional cores.
A starting point for us, I believe, in wrestling with these questions, is doing our darndest to take our attention off of ourselves and focus instead on exactly where our Enemy is lurking beneath the surface as well as what he's attempting to achieve. His outlook no doubt takes the long view into account in tandem with all those around us who he similarly works actively to choreograph an unrighteous demise.
Therefore, the question comes down to this. Can we not do the same but from the opposing point of view? Hope, I find, does trend towards the long view.
Lagniappe 2 (Highly recommended)
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