Pit Them Against Each Other With Minimal Clear Direction Or Oversight; Then Take The Time To Stir The Pot

Being employed within an environment where one's supervisor manages via the unspoken, inferred rivalry technique is pure misery.  I've been there.  In fact, I can recall days where I was so miserable that literally nothing got done (other than me surfing for Internet porn).  Please know that I'm so ashamed to admit to that.

To be more specific, this was a work environment where there were few discernible long-term goals (for me or anyone else), minuscule amounts of helpful feedback / guidance, and lots of unhealthy interpersonal dynamics that were ongoing and seemingly off limits to address.

These circumstances are like living in a prison.  Day after day.  Or at least for me it was.  And understandably, this particular job's demerits didn't initially suffocate / choke me as they did much further down the road.  This must have been due to two truths.  One was my individual maturation as an employee, and the other was literally how "emotionally infected" I was slowly becoming over time via the environment itself.  During those last few years there, constant anger would simmer beneath the surface as I tried to cope, hoping forlornly that someday things would improve for the better for me and my colleagues.

Perhaps there are men out there who thrive within this sort of environment, but if so, I can't imagine they're emotionally healthy individuals.

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But what's far worse is when a man's home life reflects this.  Where his wife, in particular, sets this sort of toxic standard in motion, pitting everyone around her against each other.

What's stunning to me is many men live and endure within this kind of familial hellhole and have since the beginning of time.  It's Biblical (see Isaac & Rebekah's sunset years story in Genesis).

Know too that THERE ARE PLENTY OF HUSBANDS / FATHERS WHO NEVERTHELESS MANAGE JUST THE SAME, but hopefully, I'm speaking here to those who know better.

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What's to be done then, when you find yourself within one or perhaps (God forbid) both of these situations simultaneously as a man?

Find a healthy release valve like Samson Society first and foremost.  It's not always feasible to up and find a new job (circumstantially or economically).  I know for me, when I was in this situation vocationally, my children were small and my wife was staying home to rear them, therefore starting fresh elsewhere simply wasn't feasible at that time.  In other words, my tenure (overall) as the breadwinner was more important to me than my pain.

Speaking specifically to toxic marriages as described here, seek out marriage counseling either through a pro or your pastor.  And if your wife refuses to go, then go alone.

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What not to do:

-  Lose sight of the fact that it doesn't take much, if any, managerial competence to become a business owner, and within a similar vein, much, if any emotional health to become a man's wife.
-  Talk bad about your employer / your spouse to your friends, relatives or anyone else.  Just because others are being critical of you behind your back doesn't give you the right as a Christian to do the same to / of them.
-  Grow bitter
-  Grow resentful
-  Lose hope
-  Lose your sense of humor
-  Stop caring for yourself*

*Stupidly investing in booze, drugs, lust (Internet porn or otherwise) in lieu of regular exercise, journaling, Bible study, prayer, and of course, Samson Society.