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"The No Bull Briefing" - March 2025 Samson Society Newsletter

The No Bull Briefing The Monthly Newsletter of the Samson Society March 2025

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The Captain's Log: An Invitation into the Wilderness Dear Brothers, As we find ourselves in the season of Lent, we step into a space of reflection, surrender, and preparation. Lent is a wilderness season—a time of reckoning with our hunger, our longing, our limitations. It invites us into an honest encounter with our own brokenness, not as something to be feared or shamed, but as the very place where Christ meets us with tenderness and truth. Recovery is, in many ways, its own kind of Lenten journey. It is the slow, courageous work of facing what we’d rather avoid, of naming what we’d rather numb. It is a journey into the depths, where we wrestle with our false selves—the masks we wear, the strategies we use to protect ourselves from pain—and where we are invited, instead, to step into the vulnerability of being fully known. Jesus’ forty days in the wilderness were not just about deprivation; they were about exposure. The enemy whispered lies that echo the ones we still battle today: You are what you produce. You are what others say about you. You are as powerful as your ability to control. And yet, Jesus resisted—not with strength, but with surrender. He refused to grasp for power, proving instead that real strength is found in dependency on the Father. What if this Lent, we practiced that same surrender? What if instead of white-knuckling our way through temptation, shame, or despair, we opened our hands? What if instead of trying to be “better men,” we allowed ourselves to be broken men, loved in the midst of our undoing? Lent is not just about loss—it is about making space for what is most real. It is about unlearning the lies we’ve believed about ourselves and making room for the voice of the One who calls us beloved. It is about the long, slow resurrection that happens in the shadows, before the dawn of Easter morning. Brothers, you are not alone in this wilderness. Christ is here, holding you even in the places you cannot hold yourself. And we are here, too—walking alongside you, as fellow sojourners, fellow sinners, fellow beloved sons. May this season draw you deeper into the heart of the One who does not demand your perfection, but delights in your presence. Grace and peace

Upcoming Events

Sexual Freedom Intensive Intensive  May 2-4 outside Jackson, Mississippi Develop strategies to stop acting out behaviors and understand the individual wounds and thought patterns that drive them. Learn More Canadian Samson Retreat June 6-8 in Bloomfield, Ontario Engage with Samson Society founder Nate Larkin, participate in workshops and group discussions, and enjoy outdoor activities.  Learn More European Samson Retreat September 12-14 in Erhwald, Austria 38 hours + 5 meals + 3 Samson meetings + 1 mountain ascent = 47 lives changed forever Learn More 2025 Samson Summit November 7-9 outside Santa Fe, New Mexico Explore your story, deepen your relationships, and live out your story as fully as God intended. Learn More

Blooming Beyond Betrayal provides a huge jumpstart or boost for a betrayed spouse’s recovery journey. Invite your partner to attend April 11-13 just outside Jackson, Mississippi. She’ll be with leaders who understand her pain, and she’ll find that she is not alone. Learn More Invite your partner to join us during the Samson Summit on November 7-9 for The Wild and Sacred Journey. This transformative weekend retreat is designed exclusively for women to reconnect with the wild, playful, and sacred aspects of themselves. Learn More

Shop the Samson Swag Store Looking to represent the Samson Society in style? Check out the Samson Swag Store and stock up on awesome gear like mugs, shirts, and journals. Whether you’re sipping coffee at a meeting, wearing a conversation-starting tee, or jotting down reflections in your journal, these items are a great way to stay connected to the mission and brotherhood of Samson. Every purchase helps support the work of the Society, so grab your swag today and wear it with pride! Shop Today

The Treasure Chest: Support Samson House  Become a sustaining member of Samson House and for $7.95 a month gain access to past retreat recordings, a special 7-part lesson with Nate Larkin about Walking the Path, a rolodex with Samson affiliated coaches and clinicians, and much more! Use the passcode NoBullBrotherhood to access the website via the button below. Become a Sustaining Member of Samson House

Your support is crucial to keep Samson House running smoothly and effectively. Your financial contributions help cover the essential expenses that keep our operations going strong. DONATE

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That Hot, Sexy Runner: Reversing The Clock By 20 Years...

Spring has sprung in Mississippi.  

During my drive home yesterday, 3/17 (I was within two miles of the house), I came upon a runner.  And not any runner, mind you.  This early to mid-30s man was at his physical peak.  And shirtless to boot!

The blind (topography) intersection he was running through was decidedly dangerous for both motorists & pedestrians, considering the lack of sidewalks much less curb and gutters.  Nonetheless, he was front and center of those of us behind the wheel as he sashayed his muscular, tanned frame, weaving in & out of the end-of-the-business-day traffic confidently.

I was close enough to deduce that his physique was not unlike any number of Special Forces soldiers (in spite of the 800-mile distance to Fort Bragg from Flowood, MS).  Perhaps, as such, he'd very much lost his way.

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A close Coonass (I love this man) friend of mine made the recent comment that he was in a much better place today than a month ago.  His thoughtful prose is always appreciated.

I have been chewing on that outlook for days now.  For I find it so very insightful as to how we should consider our recovery journey:  on a timeline.

If I were to turn back the clock twenty years, I'd be 32, married for 8 years with one child (toddler).  I'd be floundering (very, very bored with the work) at my first career-building architecture job and deeply, deeply entrenched (numerous hours a day) in gay porn's poison (both at work and at home via the www).  My physical health at this time was a non-priority in my life, and my walk with God also was on autopilot.  My sweet wife, Angie, was home with Babyone and only beginning to find side hustles (executable from home) to supplement her husband's meager income.  And just so you know, I had just relinquished my part-time gig as janitor at the architecture firm that I was employed at full-time.  The shame I felt for having to take on this humiliating (10-month) after hours gig was still - at this time - weighing heavy on my 32-year-old self.

To sum it up, I was in an extremely vulnerable / isolated place during this time of my life.  There was so much negative going on inside my head.  Negative that was terribly sensitive to even the most minute incendiary catalyst.

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Now then.  Let's drop my 32-year-old sorry ass self into the happenstance situation I encountered during my drive home yesterday, (3/17).

First and foremost, I would have instantaneously seen the situation for what it was to me at the time.  An opportunity to exploit.  High-definition mental snapshots of the shirtless stud would have ensued (as I steadied my glare), and from there, I would have had my lust fodder for the following week plus.  

Simultaneously, tremendous shame regarding my desire for this man would latch onto me as if it had been all along ready and waiting within my passenger seat.  These feelings would belittle and diminish me, no matter how well the hours of the day prior had unfurled.  As a result, a tremendous awareness of my feeling intensely isolated would become my front and center state of mind.    

Having identified an opportunity, I would then utilize my memorized photos / experience therein to cope (via heady sexual fantasy).  That opportunity likely would be after my sweet wife was asleep later on that evening.  The fantasies I would concoct would harken back to the very same ones from my adolescence (stitched together neatly through time).  All of those involved me being platonically pursued by masculine, athletically built men under the guise of sexual attraction / lust.

And this, my friends, is voyeurism.  And voyeurism is sin.

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The most noteworthy aspect of my 20-year-younger self - in regard to this spontaneous encounter - would be how specifically captivated he'd be.  It would be as if he were nothing but a void or black hole.  A void / black hole constantly seeking to be filled up via the attention / desire of other, only viewed from a distance, men.  

This was my life back then.  I managed it the best I knew how, but frankly, it was my chronic isolation that left me stuck therein.  

Yet, throughout, I had no idea how not to be isolated nor what it might look like were I not.  For this was and always had been my normal.  Especially from the standpoint of being whipsawed in and out of my routine relative to who / whom I might encounter circumstantially.

Certain men were in complete control of Rob.  And I knew of no other way to exist.  It truly sucked.

Thanks be to God that I'm in a much better place today than I was twenty years ago.