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Aaron Porter To Visit Mississippi!

Mr. Aaron Porter (Pirate Monk podcast cohost) will be visiting Mississippi during the week of April 6th.  I'm slated to accompany him to the Grace Crossing in-person Samson meeting on Sunday, (4/6), and schedule permitting, my hope is he'll attend other in-person Jackson, Mississippi Samson groups in kind (while he's here).

Aaron took on a part-time administrative position at Samson House (the nonprofit that underwrites the Samson Society) earlier this year, therefore this trip is in line with those new responsibilities.

For as long as I've been involved in Samson Society (since August '14), Mr. Aaron Porter has thankfully been present.  He's invested countless hours of volunteer time into this men's ministry both via the podcast as well as annual (Samson Summit) / regional retreats ("48 Hours of Frankness").  Aaron is one of the most affable Samson guys I know.  As such, if you have the opportunity to rub shoulders with him next week, you'll not regret it. 

In closing, in the early days (Samson Society), Aaron even worked diligently to star in a film short promoting our communal cause (it unfortunately never got off the ground).

Whilst speaking with Aaron this AM, he touched on all the positive energy / momentum within our community.  Energy that's being focused on tech upgrades (Samson Society website / app), optimization of intensive retreats (including a reduction in costs), building bridges between in-person & virtual Samson community, and on and on.

I'm so fortunate to know Mr. Aaron Porter.  We're privileged to have him visit the Magnolia State next week.

Recommended Reading (Especially If You're A Jordan Peterson Follower)

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Divorce Prejudice

Earlier this week, I had lunch with an old friend.  I'd bumped into him the week prior and upon taking his card, promised to follow up.  This man is +/-12 years my senior, white, upper class (for MS), working in a tangential industry to architecture (my first career).  He was instrumental in supporting me therein (while I was working in the private sector) for a number of years.

Around 16-17 years ago, this man surprisingly divorced his wife, and though it didn't hit me as hard as it would have otherwise (if we'd been closer friends), it still hit hard.  For I knew his wife indirectly (I'd perhaps met her twice), and I knew he had two beautiful children.

Why?

I honestly don't know how to say this with any distinct class.

When I get to know men, any men, I see inside, and unless they're absolute fools (which very few are), it's obvious to me that a high percentage of their divorces are clearly longstanding relational forfeits.  And this seems to be especially true when children are involved.  In other words, a divorce, to me, unless it involves adultery, abuse, addiction is very rarely warranted.  You might say this is an unreasonable approach I'm presenting (especially if said spouse is being "unreasonable")!  And that's true.  I really can't be reasoned with here.  Divorce should be avoided at all costs.  The Bible makes that clear, therefore why don't we follow suit?  

We don't follow suit because we're birds of a feather, and getting divorced provides an accepted cop out that many folks willingly choose.

Along with divorce comes a certain tainting or mark that's inevitable.  And, as you know, it's a forever mark that's almost impossible to hide.  I believe most divorcees never realize this 'till it's too late.  Now, whether or not they truly care therein is up to the individual.

As a sidenote, earlier today, whilst at the Y, I overheard two older men chatting about grieving the loss of (one of these men's) a spouse.  After 10+ minutes of heartfelt diatribe, the newbie widower admitted that his now deceased wife was #2.  In response, his friend admitted to being right there with him.  In fact, he cited his first marriage as his "practice marriage".  Puke.

And these were some old dudes who were making light of their historical, relational failures.

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Interestingly enough, during this same lunch, another old friend made his way into the restaurant.  And too, this was a colleague from my architecture days.  The difference though was this man (who's 5-8 years my senior) worked directly with me (again, private sector position).

And like my lunchable friend, he too eventually divorced his beautiful first wife, leaving his only child, a son, to manage the fallout after the fact.  

If there's one man, for me personally, that's a divorcee (failure) figurehead, it would be this guy.  For I knew him prior to marrying even.  But as the years went by and his (first) wife's mental health weakened; his resentment was so very obvious.  For his mockingly disrespectful words (of her, to anyone within earshot) more often than not, made my ears bleed and my heart hurt.  

Eventually, prior to his quiet divorce, he began a heady emotional affair with a much younger colleague of ours at work.  It was so obviously toxic to everyone on staff, yet no one but me chose to speak up (to the owners).

I can still see the two of these lovebirds staying long after 5 o'clock, gazing into each other eyes from the confides of this man's windowless office.  Puke.

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Overall, I renege when it comes to deeply befriending men who're divorcees.  The only time I've bucked that trend was back in 2013 whilst working at Delta State.  At that time, there were two men who I befriended who were as such.  One had chosen to not remarry and the other had been remarried for some time.

I was desperate for friendship whilst residing in that small town environment.  These two were both platonically attractive in light of their pasts.  

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When my parents' marriage exploded due to chronic infidelity (early '80s), according to my father, my parents sat down and seriously discussed the implications of divorcing:  financial, emotional, etc.  Afterwards, neither chose that route, and from there, they trudged forward in spite of the mistrust / woundedness.  

Was their marriage ever the same?  No.  

But I can say this in full confidence:  Had they divorced, only child me having to deal with that fallout in tandem with my own interpersonal (sexual identity / struggles with lust) suffering would likely have been too much for me to bear.

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I'm pleased to report that I'm becoming more sympathetic and forgiving of divorcees.  I never imagined this would occur.  I do believe my time at Delta State (2013) did me some good in that regard.  For it forced me, out of desperation, to give divorcees a chance.  A chance to be heard and loved in spite of their mark.

"Healthy People" Rules Of The Road

I read an excellent excerpt by a family physician this week. After 20+ years of practice, he observed 5 things that set 'healthy' people apart from 'unhealthy' ones:

1. They Control Their First and Last 30 Minutes of the Day

"Most people wake up and immediately react to alarms, notifications, caffeine cravings, or urgent emails. But my healthiest patients start and end the day on purpose. They hydrate before anything else—before coffee, before stress, before checking their phones. They move their bodies, even if it’s just five minutes of stretching or deep breathing. They protect their minds, avoiding news or emails that hijack their focus before they’ve had a chance to set their own intentions."

2. They Don’t Rely on Motivation—They Engineer Their Environment

"Most people think healthy people have more willpower. They don’t. They remove friction between themselves and good decisions. They keep a water bottle in sight, so hydration is automatic. They leave their walking shoes by the door, so movement is the default. They charge their phones outside the bedroom, so sleep is uninterrupted. They don’t make healthy choices harder than they need to be. They make them effortless."

3. They Eat to Stay in Control, Not Just to Be "Healthy"

"Food is more than fuel. It shapes mood, focus, and energy levels. My healthiest patients don’t just eat for nutrition. They eat for clarity. They choose foods that keep blood sugar steady because energy crashes lead to bad decisions. They avoid “quick fixes” that leave them drained because burnout starts in the gut. They eat with awareness, not out of boredom, stress, or habit."

4. They Regulate Stress Like It’s a Game of Chess

"Most people wait until they’re drowning before they 'manage' stress. My healthiest patients lower stress before it takes control. They take a deep breath before reacting, because panic is a choice. They walk between stressful tasks, because movement resets the brain. They reframe problems quickly, because wasted mental energy is the real burnout."

5. They Treat Sleep Like a Performance Drug

"My healthiest patients have a bedtime ritual, so their bodies expect sleep instead of resisting it. They limit blue light at night because even small disruptions in sleep can derail metabolism and mood. They wake up at the same time daily, even on weekends, because inconsistency disrupts everything from digestion to cognitive function."

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