"The No Bull Briefing" - December 2024

The No Bull Briefing The Monthly Newsletter of the Samson Society December 2024

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The Captain's Log: Embracing the Light As we approach December 21, the Winter Solstice, we find ourselves at the threshold of the longest night of the year—a time when the darkness feels most profound, yet the promise of light quietly begins to emerge. This turning point in the year carries profound symbolism for our journeys of recovery and healing. In recovery, much like in the solstice, we confront our darkest seasons—moments when despair, shame, or fear may feel overwhelming. These nights can seem endless, and the weight of our struggles can tempt us to believe the light will never return. But the solstice reminds us that even in the deepest darkness, a shift is taking place. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the days begin to lengthen, and the light finds its way back. The journey of healing often mirrors this cycle. It is in the willingness to sit in the darkness, to face the truth of our pain and surrender it, that we create space for hope and restoration. Like the earth tilting toward the sun, our hearts begin to tilt toward renewal. One day at a time, one step at a time, we move closer to the light, carried by the strength of our brothers and the grace of our Higher Power. As we mark this sacred season, let’s pause to honor the process—the dark nights that have shaped us, the first flickers of hope that keep us moving forward, and the growing light that reminds us we are never beyond redemption. Recovery is not about erasing the darkness but learning to let it transform us into men of integrity, courage, and love. May this Winter Solstice be a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come and to recommit to the light ahead. Together, we walk the road of healing—stronger in fellowship, united in faith. Wishing you peace and hope.

Every new dollar donated between October 1-December 31 will be matched by an anonymous donor, up to $50,000! Your gift helps provide resources, community, and hope to those seeking freedom and connection. We are approximately 75% of the way to our goal of $50K! Let’s finish the year strong—together.

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More Info Coming Soon! Samson Members Get $20 Off Here!

To be known is an ache, a holy wound, a trembling voice in the quiet room, Where shame has carved its jagged lines, and self-contempt whispers, “You are defined.”   The critic looms with its sharpened tongue, a song of scorn it has always sung. It names your worthless, hidden face, it brands your soul a barren place. The wounds of time tell their tale, longings unmet, hopes that fail.   Echoes of love that was never shown, leave the heart cold, feeling unknown. Shame drapes its veil, a heavy disguise, blinding the heart, clouding the skies. It says, “Hide away; they’ll never stay. Who you are must be locked away.” Self-contempt builds walls too high, a fortress of lies where dreams go to die. “You’ll never be enough,” it cruelly jeers, and keeps us bound to our deepest fears.   Yet healing begins where grace draws near, in the light that stays when we disappear. Love’s fierce gaze will not look away, even when shadows beg it to stray. To be known is a dangerous grace, to stand unhidden in a sacred space. It’s the risk of being fully seen, not perfect, not polished, but raw, unclean. Love calls the child who learned to hide, and walks them back through pain denied. It gathers the fragments, speaks their name, unveils the story beneath the shame.   For to be known is to find release, a balm for the war, a longed-for peace. It rewrites the scripts of contempt and fear, and whispers, “You are wanted here.” So bring your burden, your hidden despair, your self-despising, your silent prayer. Love does not flinch; it holds, it stays, and mends the wounds of the darkened days.   To be known is the soul’s true cry, a holy longing we cannot deny. For in the knowing, we’re made complete— The place where brokenness and beauty meet. Step to the light; let the veil be torn. Here, in the open, you are reborn. No shame too deep, no wound too far, to dim the light of who you are.

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Recommended Reading

 

To Be Known

To be known is an ache, a holy wound,

A trembling voice in the quiet room,

Where shame has carved its jagged lines,

And self-contempt whispers, “You are defined.”

The critic looms with its sharpened tongue,

A song of scorn it has always sung.

It names your worthless, hidden face,

It brands your soul a barren place.

The wounds of time tell their tale,

Longings unmet, hopes that fail.

Echoes of love that was never shown,

Leave the heart cold, feeling unknown.

Shame drapes its veil, a heavy disguise,

Blinding the heart, clouding the skies.

It says, “Hide away; they’ll never stay.

Who you are must be locked away.”

Self-contempt builds walls too high,

A fortress of lies where dreams go to die.

“You’ll never be enough,” it cruelly jeers,

And keeps us bound to our deepest fears.

Yet healing begins where grace draws near,

In the light that stays when we disappear.

Love’s fierce gaze will not look away,

Even when shadows beg it to stray.

To be known is a dangerous grace,

To stand unhidden in a sacred space.

It’s the risk of being fully seen,

Not perfect, not polished, but raw, unclean.

Love calls the child who learned to hide,

And walks them back through pain denied.

It gathers the fragments, speaks their name,

Unveils the story beneath the shame.

For to be known is to find release,

A balm for the war, a longed-for peace.

It rewrites the scripts of contempt and fear,

And whispers, “You are wanted here.”

So bring your burden, your hidden despair,

Your self-despising, your silent prayer.

Love does not flinch; it holds, it stays,

And mends the wounds of the darkened days.

To be known is the soul’s true cry,

A holy longing we cannot deny.

For in the knowing, we’re made complete—

The place where brokenness and beauty meet.

Step to the light; let the veil be torn.

Here, in the open, you are reborn.

No shame too deep, no wound too far,

To dim the light of who you are.

Recommended Reading: "Is It A Sin To Shack Up?"

Is Living Together Before Marriage Really a Sin?

Recommended Reading

America Has a Midlife Friendship Crisis. How to Fix It.

Recommended Reading: Precious, precious account

Tortured, Imperfect, and Held by Jesus: One Mother’s Journey Across the Dark River

When Seduction / Sexual Conquest Fuel A Man's Masculinity Engine / "Boys Will Be Boys"

Perhaps you've heard the term "serial adulterer".  Or perhaps "womanizer".  Numerous high-profile entertainers (TV, film, music, sports) are labeled as such.  And that makes sense.  They're entertainers.  Suave.  Confident.  And oftentimes, very, very professionally successful (or at least aspiring / appearing to be).  

Have you ever thought of intercourse as calisthenics?  

These men don't but considering the alleged amount of coitus they're participating in...

Very few of these entertainment idols speak of regretting their impropriety / disinterest in monogamy.  And I believe it has a lot to do with how intricately linked their sense of / purposefulness in masculinity is to successfully seducing / bedding women (&/or men).

-------------------------

So, what fuels these serial seducers?  Are they addicts?  Are their libidos truly that demanding?

When I was in high school, television news magazines (not including the mainstays like "60 Minutes" & "20/20") were becoming more and more ubiquitous.  As such, their topics were, in turn, becoming more liberal-minded (eyebrow-raising) as they competed for viewership.  One such episode featured a group of (white) teenage jocks who were brash enough, as it pertained to their underhanded "fuckpoints system", to be filmed touting their primary role (masculine identity) as young, sexually astute bucks. 

Because it was a TV news magazine, besides the expected headshot interviews, there was footage of the studs doing what studs do best:  looking studly.  Hence, they were weightlifting in the gym / competing on sports teams, driving their trucks around town but mostly they were collectively identifying women that they wished to seduce / bed (all the while updating their stats regarding their supposed lays).  

The "fuckpoints systems" they weren't at all shy about disclosing to the broadcast journalist who was responsible for the piece.  And when they were questioned as to their chauvinistic outlook, they brashly declared that "women longed to be fucked by a man".  And they said this with such conviction that the viewer came close to believing it.

-------------------------

So, is that true?  

I know MARRIED men who're well into their Medicare years who're steadily connecting with women (initially online) who're absolutely interested in dialoguing about their sexual desires.  All in anticipation of performing sexually - to one degree or another - for these old fuckers.  

Keep in mind though that many of these whores receive some form of payment for access to their wet vaginas.  And though it may not feel transactional initially, it almost always ends up as such.

Ultimately though, the Medicare (sugardaddy) man gets one more score.  Just as if he's still playing the "fuckpoints game" from his younger limelit days past.

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All this that I'm describing is simply modus operandi.  And I would argue, it's the most deeply ingrained and therefore destructive motivator towards compulsive sexual sin.  For it bridges the man's brain to his genitalia and that bridge is distinctly tied to his "masculine purpose".  

And let's not forget that masculinity is THE most influential force on planet Earth (other than perhaps gravity).

This MO isn't one that's discussed within the Samson Society.  Why?  It's too taboo, seemingly stereotypical, etc.  Plus, our Heavenly Father / God's son is presented in the masculine.  Who cares to even imply that certain (hypersexual) degrees of masculinity equate directly to - to some degree or another - God's very creation in man himself?

Therefore...

You will hear the word "sex addict" an awful lot along with "triggers" within this community.  "Trauma" is mentioned often as well.  These words tamp down chronic (ingrained / hardwired) illicit behavior(s) into something figurative / digital that can be easily quantified / isolated.  

"Masculine purpose" is just too unclinical.  Too saturated within the entirety of the idea of the man himself.  His core ideals, his physical presence, his understanding / comprehension of women. His core drive(rs).  Yikes.

Hence, it's too much of an individualistic minefield to even consider approaching.

Therefore, what can be done?

-------------------------

Years ago, a white bread Mormon Samson guy approached me (w/ tenacity) regarding his desire for me to serve him as his Silas.  This man was in his early 30s, reared in both Utah and California, whereas the latter was where he and his young family (Latino wife & preschool daughter) resided presently.  I believe he specifically chose me due to my specific same-sex attraction story and how antithetical it was to his own MO (but this is just speculation on my part).

His draw to porn was directly tied to his "masculine purpose", but that purpose was masked underneath a rigorously established religious identity.  This "masculine purpose" was (birthed during his teen years) rooted in (of all things for a clean-cut Mormon) his adoration for gangsta rap & culture.  And from there, rich, combustible fuel was found (masculine identity) in the specific form of Latino / black women who acquiesce to the gangsta rap aesthetic / lifestyle (he mostly found these in music videos / online porn). 

This / these women are what this man longed to consume in light of his "masculine purpose".  And I believe he did so in order to repetitively confirm / affirm that purpose.  

It was wildly bizarre attempting to walk with this devout, church-going Mormon.  Eventually, upon the apparentness of us continually going in circles regarding his recovery, I had to decouple.  For I knew I was in way over my head.

For whom was I to stand in the way of the very engine that fueled his sense of masculinity?

-------------------------

My heart hurts for these men.  

If you're interested in learning more, simply read Saint Augustine's autobio.  And from there, be encouraged.  God rescues all manner of men from compulsive sexual sin.  But especially so, men like these.  Ultimately, a supernatural reordering of priorities is required.  A reordering that leaves intact a man's masculine purpose whilst allowing him to fuel up that purpose outside of the hedonistic physical / sexual norms that our culture so celebrates.

Reflecting on Growth & Gratitude: A Year-End Message from the Samson & Sarah Societies

 

Men of Samson Society and Women of Sarah Society: On behalf of our founder, Nate Larkin, and our Board of Directors, I come to you with good news – our societies are growing, marriages are being rescued, and the cause of Christ and His Kingdom is advancing. One week ago, at our annual Samson retreat our featured speaker, Andrew Bauman, drove home this point: as men and women in our society, we are vulnerable: We are vulnerable to the messages from our childhood. We are vulnerable to the influences of our peers. We are vulnerable to self-condemnation. We are vulnerable to the deceiver. We need each other. The Good News is we have hope, “because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4) One of our goals for 2024 was Host training. We took a giant leap toward that goal at this year’s retreat. 51 in-person and online hosts attended a pre-retreat to discuss best practices for hosts. Led by Mike Moore, the conversation lively and engaging. Tons of valuable insights were shared and we can confidently look forward to more men hosting more meetings in 2025. Speaking of goals, one of our goals for 2025 is to bring the strengths of Samson Society to our churches. Toward that end, Patrick Peters is spearheading a prototype project in Dallas, Texas showcasing how Samson Society can help churches save marriages by helping men live in the freedom of authenticity. The good news doesn’t stop there. The Sarah Society currently has 761 members spanning several countries and 5 continents! Two members of the leadership team recently conducted a three-week tour of Australia where they were able to: hold three counselor/religious leader workshops, host one men's group, participate in 2 radio interviews and a podcast interview, conduct 3 women's intensives, and brainstorm with Salvation Army to understand the impact of porn on family and community. The ladies of Sarah Society also recently held an online auction, raising approximately $1800 in scholarship funds for their annual Gathering, which is occurring May 4-7 just south of Grand Rapids, Michigan, and featuring Aundi Kolber. Learn more! Tuesday, December 3, is GIVING TUESDAY and we have a HUGE OPPORTUNITY – a very generous donor has once again offered to MATCH OUR GIVING in November and December up to $50,000.00!! (current recurring gifts excluded) But wait, there’s more! If your company has a matching gift program that triples your gift. And if you’re on FaceBook, check out their matching gift program as well. Click the image below for a full summary of Samson Society financials: WAYS TO GIVE – It is Good to Give … Smart Giving is Great! Our giving portal A generous one-time gift A recurring monthly gift (this helps us to even out our monthly expenses) NOTE: you will receive a receipt from our contributions manager, New Horizons Foundation Text2give: Text to the phone number 719-722-3545, then enter a dollar amount and SamsonHouse in the text box. You will receive a reply text – simply follow the instructions to set up your text2give account (a one-time effort). You can make a recurring gift or make a simple 10 second gift at the end of each Samson Society meeting – “giving back.” Venmo - @SamsonHouse Major Gifts – feel free to designate your desired use of funds, email: tom@samsonhouse.org Tax-advantaged Ways to Give Appreciated securities (no impact on your lifestyle see this CBS article). This way of giving makes the most sense tax-wise. Avoid this year’s tax bite by giving this year and next year’s gift to a Donor Advised Fund and then directing the fund to give to Samson House Avoid taxes by giving from your qualified retirement plan (IRA). You can even name Samson House as a percentage beneficiary in your will. Matching Gifts – if your company will match your gift, double the pleasure! Giving Tuesday has become the answer to the commercialism of Black Friday. Please consider how you can participate by giving to your favorite charity: Samson House! You can make your one-time or monthly contribution below: DONATE As this year draws to a close, let us all pause to give thanks for the gracious hand of God on Samson Society / Samson House. Pray for your brothers and sisters who are in the heat of the battle, and above all remember you are never alone. Jesus said, “I am with you always, to the very end.” As He is with us, let’s be there for one another. Remember what Apollos wrote to the Hebrews, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” It is an honor to be on this mission with you.

Tom Moucka Samson House President Nate Larkin Samson Society, Founder

Keith Melton,  Mike Moore, Jeff Van Driel,  Eva Hunter, Mark Heinrich,  Roe Hunter, Rush Harrison,  Nate Larkin The Samson House Board