Perhaps you've heard the term "serial adulterer". Or perhaps "womanizer". Numerous high-profile entertainers (TV, film, music, sports) are labeled as such. And that makes sense. They're entertainers. Suave. Confident. And oftentimes, very, very professionally successful (or at least aspiring / appearing to be).
Have you ever thought of intercourse as calisthenics?
These men don't but considering the alleged amount of coitus they're participating in...
Very few of these entertainment idols speak of regretting their impropriety / disinterest in monogamy. And I believe it has a lot to do with how intricately linked their sense of / purposefulness in masculinity is to successfully seducing / bedding women (&/or men).
-------------------------
So, what fuels these serial seducers? Are they addicts? Are their libidos truly that demanding?
When I was in high school, television news magazines (not including the mainstays like "60 Minutes" & "20/20") were becoming more and more ubiquitous. As such, their topics were, in turn, becoming more liberal-minded (eyebrow-raising) as they competed for viewership. One such episode featured a group of (white) teenage jocks who were brash enough, as it pertained to their underhanded "fuckpoints system", to be filmed touting their primary role (masculine identity) as young, sexually astute bucks.
Because it was a TV news magazine, besides the expected headshot interviews, there was footage of the studs doing what studs do best: looking studly. Hence, they were weightlifting in the gym / competing on sports teams, driving their trucks around town but mostly they were collectively identifying women that they wished to seduce / bed (all the while updating their stats regarding their supposed lays).
The "fuckpoints systems" they weren't at all shy about disclosing to the broadcast journalist who was responsible for the piece. And when they were questioned as to their chauvinistic outlook, they brashly declared that "women longed to be fucked by a man". And they said this with such conviction that the viewer came close to believing it.
-------------------------
So, is that true?
I know MARRIED men who're well into their Medicare years who're steadily connecting with women (initially online) who're absolutely interested in dialoguing about their sexual desires. All in anticipation of performing sexually - to one degree or another - for these old fuckers.
Keep in mind though that many of these whores receive some form of payment for access to their wet vaginas. And though it may not feel transactional initially, it almost always ends up as such.
Ultimately though, the Medicare (sugardaddy) man gets one more score. Just as if he's still playing the "fuckpoints game" from his younger limelit days past.
-------------------------
All this that I'm describing is simply modus operandi. And I would argue, it's the most deeply ingrained and therefore destructive motivator towards compulsive sexual sin. For it bridges the man's brain to his genitalia and that bridge is distinctly tied to his "masculine purpose".
And let's not forget that masculinity is THE most influential force on planet Earth (other than perhaps gravity).
This MO isn't one that's discussed within the Samson Society. Why? It's too taboo, seemingly stereotypical, etc. Plus, our Heavenly Father / God's son is presented in the masculine. Who cares to even imply that certain (hypersexual) degrees of masculinity equate directly to - to some degree or another - God's very creation in man himself?
Therefore...
You will hear the word "sex addict" an awful lot along with "triggers" within this community. "Trauma" is mentioned often as well. These words tamp down chronic (ingrained / hardwired) illicit behavior(s) into something figurative / digital that can be easily quantified / isolated.
"Masculine purpose" is just too unclinical. Too saturated within the entirety of the idea of the man himself. His core ideals, his physical presence, his understanding / comprehension of women. His core drive(rs). Yikes.
Hence, it's too much of an individualistic minefield to even consider approaching.
Therefore, what can be done?
-------------------------
Years ago, a white bread Mormon Samson guy approached me (w/ tenacity) regarding his desire for me to serve him as his Silas. This man was in his early 30s, reared in both Utah and California, whereas the latter was where he and his young family (Latino wife & preschool daughter) resided presently. I believe he specifically chose me due to my specific same-sex attraction story and how antithetical it was to his own MO (but this is just speculation on my part).
His draw to porn was directly tied to his "masculine purpose", but that purpose was masked underneath a rigorously established religious identity. This "masculine purpose" was (birthed during his teen years) rooted in (of all things for a clean-cut Mormon) his adoration for gangsta rap & culture. And from there, rich, combustible fuel was found (masculine identity) in the specific form of Latino / black women who acquiesce to the gangsta rap aesthetic / lifestyle (he mostly found these in music videos / online porn).
This / these women are what this man longed to consume in light of his "masculine purpose". And I believe he did so in order to repetitively confirm / affirm that purpose.
It was wildly bizarre attempting to walk with this devout, church-going Mormon. Eventually, upon the apparentness of us continually going in circles regarding his recovery, I had to decouple. For I knew I was in way over my head.
For whom was I to stand in the way of the very engine that fueled his sense of masculinity?
-------------------------
My heart hurts for these men.
If you're interested in learning more, simply read Saint Augustine's autobio. And from there, be encouraged. God rescues all manner of men from compulsive sexual sin. But especially so, men like these. Ultimately, a supernatural reordering of priorities is required. A reordering that leaves intact a man's masculine purpose whilst allowing him to fuel up that purpose outside of the hedonistic physical / sexual norms that our culture so celebrates.
No comments:
Post a Comment