"The No Bull Briefing" - July 2022 Newsletter Of The Samson Society

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING - July 2022

Ask an Expert By Kaka Ray, MSFT, BCN When we are triggered by conflict and become disregulated (sometimes called “flipping our lid”) it is very common for us drop into one of our younger parts. You can quickly assess whether you are reacting from your inner wounded child by asking yourself three basic questions. Read More Have a question you would like answered? Send it our way and we will see what we can find out for you! Join us in Eva in November! We are already at 75% of the total number of men who attended the retreat last year, and we still have three months to register. That's something worth celebrating!  This fall, Roane and Eva Hunter, international bestselling authors of Sex, God, and the Chaos of Betrayal, along with their son, Roe, will present on Sexual Brokenness: A Family Affair. Come listen as they share from the relational perspectives of husband-wife, father-son, and mother-son. To help encourage men to register, we are hosting a friendly competition. At check-in, we will ask guys to list one Samson meeting to represent. The meeting with the most men in attendance will receive the opportunity to purchase an official Samson t-shirt with their meeting logo on it in the Samson merch store! REGISTER Enough! By Jamie, a Pirate Monk Author Sometimes angels are 24 year old guys in a lifted truck smoking cigarettes. Who am I to judge what they do or how God uses them? Okay, I guess you need some back story now. Firstly, I am not mechanically wired. You don't see me checking spark plugs or changing my own oil; not because I don't know how or am unwilling to learn...YouTube has taught me many things. I would just rather have people in my life I know and trust that are professionals to do that. Sometimes, this fact makes me feel like less of a man and I know that. Tonight was one of those nights, but I didn't overthink or dwell on that thought because I'm learning to only dwell on the thoughts and character of the Heavenly Father and He doesn't condemn me for not being mechanically inclined, so why should I? Okay, now back to the smoking angels. My son calls me at 2:00 am and I'm in full REM at this point. He says,” I think I blew a tire!” So I start asking questions to assess the situation and determine if I need to be supportive over the phone or go meet him. I determine I need to go, so I throw yesterday's clothes on and head out the door. I race like a madman to the scene where I see my son attempting to get at his spare tire...did I mention I was in sandals? Don't judge... I was half asleep and footwear choice or grabbing tools was not high on my priority list. Told you...not wired that way! Trying not to completely destroy the poorly managed stereo installation from the previous owner, we eventually get the spare tire out and all the tools "needed" for the job. I get out my heavy duty jack from the truck and a big chunk of wood to chalk the other back tire. We start jacking the car and realize now in hindsight (again sleepy) I should have tried loosening the nuts first, because apparently the last time we had the tires serviced the tech over torqued the tires or we had some rust build up happen. I get some lubricant, spray the nuts...because I've seen this movie before. :) I try loosening the nuts again. I’m pulling so hard that I think I'm going to get a hernia. I’m standing on the wheel wrench! (I think that's the name of it...not googling now) and these nuts do not want to move. I'm out of ideas at this point because I don't have anything in my truck or at home that would help get these off. So, I do what manly men do...call AMA right? Not really, but that's what I did. As I'm calling, these two guys out of nowhere pull up and start talking to my son. He explains the situation and I quickly cancel with AMA because a neighbour or smoking angels in this case have come to our rescue! Cue emasculation now! I could stand there in a stoic man pose stroking my beard and say "You’re able to loosen the nuts because I loosened them first!” but in reality I know only two actually moved. In the end, these young guys helped us do what we couldn't, simply because we didn't have the tools needed...apparently steel toed boots! All men need help at times. Either with tires, emotions, raising kids, loving their wife or even spending time with God. I think we just need to accept the help more willingly and honestly. That is especially true when the help is coming directly from God.  I am enough, when I trust Him enough....so the more I trust Him the better off I am.  It’s 3:35 am. I can hear birds outside and I'm going back to bed thanking God that He says,” I am enough!” Why Men Struggle to Love Workshop Introducing a workshop opportunity presented by Eddie Capparucci and based on the book, Why Men Struggle to Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots. This workgroup is right for you if one or more of the following feels true: - You have struggled with sex addiction, porn addiction, or some other addiction - You find emotional intimacy frightening or seemingly unattainable - Your spouse says you are distant and struggle to connect emotionally - You feel isolated and alone, even when you are in a romantic relationship In this group, you will: - Learn how you became an emotionally undeveloped man - Examine the issues behind your struggle to connect intimately - Begin the process of identifying and overcoming your emotional blind spots - Be introduced to numerous antidotes that will help you on your journey to becoming emotionally connected with others COURSE INFORMATION: A new group starts: · August 23, 2022 · Tuesdays, 8 p.m. EST · 6 weeks, 90-minute sessions (This is Level 1 of 2 Levels) · Facilitator: Eddie Capparucci REGISTER Couple's Trip to Italy Join us October 7-9 for a men's and women's retreat happening about 2 hours from Rome in the Apennine mountains. The American dollar's power in Europe is strong right now and airfare prices have recently decreased making it possible to travel to Italy for around $750 a person. Turn the retreat weekend into a tour of Italy with your spouse for an experience you won't forget! MEN'S RETREAT DETAILS Do you sometimes find yourself acting or reacting in immature ways? Does conflict with your partner sometimes degenerate into childish language or behavior? In this retreat, Nate Larkin and Kaka Ray will explore what it takes to "grow up" into free and fully integrated adulthood, capable of connecting deeply with another person. WOMEN'S RETREAT DETAILS Wildflowers defy boundaries and expectations. They grow in both expected and unexpected places and often thrive in difficult conditions. Like those exposed landscapes, your life may be scorched by the firestorms of loss. Your soul might be exposed to the emotional drought of illness. Your heart could be frozen by the bitter wind of shattered dreams. Walk through a landscape of healing with companions who know both the devastation of loss and the emergence of hope. The task is to study your own story - to listen to the heartache and hope etched in the narrative of your life. And to find the meaning God has written there. REGISTER June 2022 Meeting Host & Sub Winner Thank you Evan Rizzo for hosting the BYOBacon Breakfast virtual meeting! We would like to give you a 25% discount off one item in the Samson merch store as a thank you for donating your time and talents! Please check your email inbox for your discount code. Each month we will draw one name, so be sure to complete the host form online every time you host or sub a meeting to be entered in to the drawing. You receive one entry for each time you host or sub during the month. Regional Retreat Opportunities Planning a regional Samson retreat? Let us know at samsonhouseoffice@gmail.com or drop it on the #upcoming_event channel on Slack so we can help you spread the word! Blue Ridge Samson Society Retreat If you're looking for a place to connect and learn to tell your story, join us for the upcoming Blue Ridge Samson Society Retreat.  Dates: Friday, August 5 (4 pm) - Sunday, August 7, 2022 (1 pm) Location: Blue Ridge, GA Cost: $300 (plus registration fees), which includes lodging, meals and storytelling materials. Registration through Eventbrite What will we do? We will have a great time of fellowship, sharing stories, and building community in the Blue Ridge Mountains. It will be an awesome time to go deeper into what God is revealing in your story. Plus, you get to connect with other men and hear THEIR story to help you process yours. It's gonna be a tremendous weekend of healing together! Email Chris Inman at chris@np-recovery.com if you have any questions. We hope to see you there! Calling men to begin "breaking the darkness" in our lives and in our world by walking and living in authentic brotherhood. The purpose of our retreat is to help men dare closer to Jesus and find freedom in our lives by learning to be ruggedly honest and supporting one another as broken brothers in confidential spaces. The retreat will feature Nate Larkin, nationally known speaker, author or "Samson and the Pirate Monks," and founder of the International Samson Society. Monthly Resource Corner Each month, Samson Society will promote a resource that you may find helpful on your journey. Feel free to share any podcast episodes, blog posts, books, or documentaries that you find enlightening!  Support Samson House Samson Society does not have dues or fees, but we do have expenses, and the summer months are historically low giving months even though our monthly expenses remain the same. Some creative ways you can financially support Samson include: purchasing company supplies through Amazon Smile and designating SAMSON HOUSE as your charity of choice adding Samson House to your church's domestic mission program (ask us how) hosting a Facebook fundraiser for your birthday or just because! (learn how here) Considering how much time and expense we have put into unwanted, unfulfilling habits, many of us have recognized it only makes sense to invest in our own and other’s recovery. DONATE Connect with us on social media!

Honoring The Mother Ship's (First Baptist Church Jackson) Cherished '70s / '80s' Pastor - Dr. Frank Pollard - 4/02/78 transcript

"The Year Of The Locust" - JR Everhart

I’m currently on vacation at the beach.  I’m staying right on the boardwalk on 2nd St. in Ocean City, MD.  What that means is it’s 10:30pm, and the boardwalk is still packed with people on a Tuesday night.  So, needless to say, it’s a busy place.  I love it here because it’s my home beach, the one I enjoy most.  But it’s the first vacation I’ve ever taken alone.  There are tons of memories here regarding my last two marriages.  I’m a people-watcher, and just seeing all these young kids (early 20’s) walking hand in hand, thinking life couldn’t get any better than this - boy, I remember feeling that way with various women over the years.  But it just seems like a distant memory now, overshadowed by multiple divorces, and failed romance time and time again.  I was so broken back then, and way too stupid to know how awesome those times really were.  Instead, I picked and poked at whomever I was with and drove them crazy with my narcissistic ways.  Yeah, I wasn’t great at picking very good women, but I sure didn’t help matters any.  I just couldn’t live and let live.  I died over every hill, and it wore each woman down to a nub. 

Watching these young couples laugh and tease each other reminds me of the innocence that existed in those younger days.  I’d give anything to go back knowing what I know now and do it all over again.  But, that’s not reality.  Boy, what a clumsy walk this life is.  It just seems like yesterday that everything was okay.  I was happily married - for what I thought - was the third and final time.  But, yet again, it somehow slipped through my fingers, even in the face of enormous growth and 7-years of back-breaking effort.  Sometimes, I’m just lost as to how it all fell apart, but it did. 

So instead of acting out and running into the arms of whatever whore I could find (like I had done so many times in the past), I’ve since chosen to FINALLY do something different.  I’ve connected with support groups and leaned into my friends around me.  God knows I’ve had my battles, but I’m still a post-divorce virgin.  Meaning I haven’t had sex with anyone since my ex-wife.  I think I just got sick of the sexual rollercoaster, and hence, decided to get off the ride and leave the amusement park.  The old up and downs of the past just aren't as satisfying as before.  They just leave me sick to my stomach and dizzy.  Maybe I’ve finally realized that making the same mistakes over and over and expecting a different result is actually absolute insanity!  It amazes me, looking back, how I just kept trying over and over, falling in the same mud each time.  I’ve given up so much at the alter of sexual idolatry.  And honestly, I feel like I’ve lost entire years.  And I'm referring to  the good years of my life which I'll never get back.  I’ll be 50 this year, and definitely don’t have the sex appeal I used to have.  Most of which is because I’ve lost the player/rebel persona, and I don’t really care to be the bad boy anymore.  You can’t be those things when your heart is healthy and full of loving desire to help those around you.  Recovery changes your brain chemistry the same way addiction does. When it changed in me, I literally lost a part of who I was.  A bad part that was the womanizer-bad-boy who was always laying traps and snares for the beautiful women around me.  That guy could spin a web of bullshit and sexual tension with the best of them.  He didn’t care about anything or anyone except his next orgasm.  That was the dangerous part.  Once he got you to his alter of sex (his bed), he would cast a demonic spell of pleasure over a woman’s body.  A spell they rarely said no to a second time.  It’s all built on lies, and I could feel a demonic anointing over me in those times of raw desire.  I can remember my original recovery counselor breaking out the anointing oil in one of our early sessions because I had said that to her.  She prayed over me that day, and it broke some kind of bondage in my spirit.  Afterwards, I was free from that satanic control.  I remember leaving that session like I had been stripped naked, bathed in God's grace, and reclothed.  I was shell shocked for at least a day or so after that.  That was almost ten years ago, and I can remember it like it happened five minutes ago. 

I’m so glad I’m not that guy anymore.  Sometimes, I really don’t know who I am.  My reactions to things and situations surprise even me sometimes.  I’m not the same, and old things have truly passed away.  Or at least that’s how it seems.  Who knows, maybe I’ll fall clean off the wagon and into total relapse tomorrow?  Lol.  I make no promises anymore because I get sick of letting people down.  But I will say this: My track record doesn’t look horrible.  Yeah, it’s clumsy and I definitely stumble, but I don’t fall on my face much anymore.  And right now, I’m free to do whatever sexual evil my heart desires…but I don’t.  My heart desires true love and connection versus empty, soulless sex like an animal.  I want to be loved, I deserve to be loved and will not compromise on that again. Sure, there’re times I see a beautiful woman and my mind starts to race.  But somehow, and I’m still trying to figure this out, I find myself wondering what burden of suffering she may be carrying, or I start thinking about how she’s a mother to an innocent kid or daughter to a loving father.  I think about my adult daughters and how much I love them.  Somewhere there’s a father that loves her that much.  These things have come from almost a decade of trying to unravel my view of women, as an instrument of my personal pleasure, and instead have prayed for God to reveal to me who these human beings are as people Jesus died for.  I remember asking God to allow me to see women as he sees them.  I wanted to earn the right to be friends with females without a cloud of sexual tension around me all the time.  God did that and more! 

God also started revealing to me how my sex appeal came off as the "creepy uncle" that hugged you a little too long.  NOT the cool, smooth stud I thought I was in my head.  It’s embarrassing to even mention...  Boy, nothing will defuse your pride quicker than realizing you're the laughingstock within some of the cliques of women you thought you were playing.  I might as well have been wearing a polyester suit and a pimp cane… Once I realized this, I started to change quickly.  But it was still a process. 

Unfortunately, the world is full of loose woman weighed down by the lusts of this world, and they enjoy eating up all the playa bad-boy stuff.  I’ll never forget the first time I read 2nd Timothy 3:6:

“For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts”.  I was the guy working my way into gullible women’s homes and leading them away by their lustful desires.  You must realize that was very uncomfortable but very eye opening for me.  It was a game-changer.  It just took me ten years to figure out how to crawl out of that mindset.  The locust were still robbing me during my recovery, and my last divorce was the latest harvest to fall victim to its decay.  I still lament all that, the pain is still fresh and tender.  But, I’m surviving and even thriving some days.  It’s getting easier with each day…even when those days are full of tears and suffering.  It’s all part of God's plan, and anything other than absolute surrender and trust will only put me on a road back to distorted thinking and bondage.  The locust stop here!  Or at least I hope they do.  Lol.  God knows I’m trying and growing.  I just get tired of trying and growing and want to fast forward to the season of blessing.  But, I’m learning patience along the way as well.  In Joel 2:25 God promises to restore what the locust stole from me.  I have no idea how that’s going to happen at this age, but it’s not for me to figure out.  That sort of thing is above my pay grade.  I just need to trust and believe, you know, the good fight of faith…

Recommended Reading

 Purity Means Seeing More, Not Less (thegospelcoalition.org)