November - The "No Bull" Briefing Newsletter

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING NEWSLETTER November 2020

Happy Thanksgiving! There's Still Time To Register for This Weekend's Virtual Retreat! John Lynch, KaKa Ray, and Nate Larkin LIVE! Plus highlights from the in-person retreat, live small group interaction, Andy Gullahorn concert, Tom Moucka's "State of the Society," and a special presentation you won't want to miss. Register HERE. Rumor clarification: just after he arrived at the Annual Retreat, our featured speaker, John Lynch, found out he had been exposed to Covid the night before. Since Tom Moucka drove him to the retreat, out of an abundance of caution, both of them returned home in order not to become "super spreaders." Both have since successfully self-quarantined. Matching Gift = Double Your Gift We have been blessed with a Matching Gift of $50,000.00! To date, we have raised $4,974.00 toward that goal. This is an opportunity of which we simply MUST take advantage. The matching donor has agreed to extend the deadline from Dec. 1 to Dec. 31 in order to include year-end giving. Guys, please consider a sacrificial gift equal to the benefit you have gained from Samson Society. If you have realized significant gains in the stock market this year, you can give a gift of appreciated stock without impacting your monthly budget. Just email Chris Rosenhahn at New Horizons (our contributions processor) and he will walk you through the process. You will receive a charitable tax deduction for the full fair market value of the stock and you will not have to pay capital gains tax on the appreciation. If you can make a special gift toward the match, Donate HERE. How will we use the match? Much needed administrative help, web development, improved SEO, improved onboarding platform, Silas training, improved Slack experience, and hopefully a post-Covid coast-to-coast community development road trip. Secondary Addictions A fellow Pirate Monk writes, "I got into Samson Society six years ago to deal with porn addiction, and as I got healthier, I discovered it wasn't my only bad habit - I was also a compulsive gambler." Our experience is, the Samson Society community can help brothers with multiple addictions. If you have discovered you have a gambling addiction and would like to join a Slack channel dedicated to gambling recovery, email Larry at riskman1@gmail.com. Prayer of St. Anselm O my God, teach my heart where and how to seek You, where and how to find You. You are my God and You are my all and I have never seen You. You have made me and remade me, You have bestowed on me all the good things I possess, Still, I do not know You. I have not yet done that for which I was made. Teach me to seek You. I cannot seek You unless You teach me or find You unless You show Yourself to me. Let me seek You in my desire, let me desire You in my seeking. Let me find You by loving You, let me love You when I find You. Amen  (from Graham J on Slack) Amazon Smile for Your Black Friday You can make an impact while you shop for Black Friday deals. Simply shop at smile.amazon.com/ch/82-2082396 and AmazonSmile will donate to Samson House, at no cost to you. NOTE re: Donations By Check Beginning January 1, 2021, Samson House will no longer process contributions by physical check at our Franklin, TN location. ALL contribution processing will be done by our contribution processor, New Horizons. Not only is this an effective outsourcing of a critical administrative task, but it also streamlines our 501-C-3 accounting to the IRS. You can donate HERE from now on.

The Priority Of Singleness

Most Samson Society men are married, at least based on my knowledge of the men I've connected with inside our community.  Most married men are fathers - across the board.  I can count on one hand the number of husbands I've met through the years who've not reproduced.

Marriage is sold to us here in the West as THE NORM.  Bachelorhood is frowned upon.  If you're a bachelor, you're typically pitied and often poked fun at for being as such.

One of the most interesting aspects of God's Word is it runs counter to this.  And this is huge because singleness is no doubt a much less (all around) demanding position to be in.  In other words, like so much of God's word, it lines up with pragmatism.

Christianity is a relinquishing of our individual rights.  We're called instead to a fellowship of suffering with Christ which involves us finding family, meaning, and identity within the church, Christ's bride.  

The apostle Paul was content in Christ.  His writings exhort that fact.  His life was tethered not by responsibilities to a spouse or children.  Instead, he followed the great commission's lead and through the Holy Spirit evangelized to the gentiles throughout three separate missionary journeys.  And all along, he did this with a number of close male friends (as well as married couples) at his side.

-------------------------

So why is marriage elevated as it is within our culture?

Marriage (of any ilk) is good for the bottom line.  It's as simple as that.  Statistics prove that populations made up of married folks spend more money on just about everything, but mainly on loads of unnecessities - a bigger this and a bigger that, more of this and more of that.  The men (& now the ladies too) work their hineys off too.  Much moreso than bachelors, if you consider the white collar males' (& now female's) race to "the top".  And this is due to that perceived marital obligation - that ever present drive to provide, provide, provide.  KEEP UP WITH THE JONESES, BABY!

-------------------------

Therefore, taking all of this into consideration, we husbands / fathers are no doubt at times overworked and underpaid - physically, emotionally & spiritually.  And that's the liability found there versus that which our bachelor friends experience.

Hence, we often need to retreat.  Even if it's a virtual one:

SPECIAL NOTICE: Virtual Retreat & Matching Challenge Grant Virtual Retreat Okay, so we had to limit the size of this year's Annual Retreat due to Covid restrictions, but we are refusing to "cave to Covid" (though we came close!) On November 20-21, we will be holding our first-ever VIRTUAL RETREAT. This will be a hybrid of recorded sessions from the in-person retreat AND live sessions from speakers that couldn’t make the retreat … WITH NO COVID! That’s right, John Lynch will be there LIVE, KaKa Ray will be there LIVE, and Nate Larkin will be there LIVE. There will also be time for questions and answers and small group discussions. Only $49 - Register HERE - limited spaces, register today! Schedule • Friday, November 20 7 PM Central Time Welcome  Welcome, Instructions, and Opening Remarks by Aaron & Nate 7:15 PM Central Time Keynote  Opening Message from John Lynch 8:15 PM Central Time Concert  Songs, Stories and Recovery Wisdom by Andy Gullahorn Schedule • Saturday, November 21 9 AM Central Time Launch  Friday recap and Saturday preview with Aaron & Nate 9:15 AM Central Time Keynote  Second message from John Lynch 10:15 AM Central Time Personal Work  Individual reflection with guidance from John Lynch (45 minutes) 11 AM Central Time Small Group Sharing  Pooling insights with brothers in breakout rooms Noon Central Time Midday Break  1:00 PM Central Time Workshop with Kaka Ray  Where Addiction and Trauma Meet 2:10 PM Central Time Workshop with Nate Larkin  Regaining Your Footing After a Relapse 3:20 PM Central Time Workshop with Aaron Porter  Stop Trying So Hard! 4:30 PM Central Time Workshop with Andy Gullahorn  The Spiritual Discipline of the High Five 5:30 PM Central Time Dinner Break  6:15 PM Central Time Small Group Sharing  Pooling insights with brothers in breakout rooms 7:00 PM Central Time The Grand Finale  Special Presentation by Dr. Tom Moucka, and closing message by Aaron Porter Matching Challenge Grant As announced in last month’s No Bull Briefing, Samson House has received an anonymous Matching Challenge Grant. It is a dollar-for-dollar match up to $50,000.00! The deadline for the grant is Giving Tuesday, December 1, 2020. To date, we have raised $2,499.00. All one-time gifts and new recurring gifts are eligible for the match. Gifts of stock are included and have the added benefit of a tax deduction for the full fair market value of the stock and you will not have to pay capital gains tax on the appreciation. NOTE: The Cares Act of 2020 provides special benefits for charitable donations, even if you don't itemize! This is a HUGE opportunity for Samson House to acquire much needed administrative and IT help. We have experienced significant growth in the last six months, and it shows no sign of letting up. With additional funds, we will be able to expand our Slack community, redesign and launch a new app, and add additional native-language groups around the world. If all goes well, we will also re-launch our coast-to-coast road trip! To give toward the matching grant, simply click on the donate button on our home page. You will be re-directed to our contribution processor, New Horizons. Follow the prompts to complete your gift. If you would like to make a gift of appreciated stock, contact Chris at New Horizons at (800) 531-4075 or click here to email him directly. Thank you ALL so very much, Tom Moucka

VINTAGE (...Not Responding)

A new friend I made at the SS fall retreat cited my antiquated smartphone as "vintage" while we were sharing a meal down in the dining room of the conference center.  

Here at the office, I use a refurbished desktop PC which too could be deemed "vintage" by today's standards.  

My oldest daughter was involved in a collision last week, and the insurance company has deemed the "vintage" compact she was driving home from school a total loss.  

-------------------------

Religion and church definitely fall into the camp of "vintage" these days, but too, so much of the experience / outlook really is tied to the past.  I say that because its value is rooted within a beginning point where it amassed relevancy to the (hopefully) Christ-follower.  Therefore, maybe it truly is "vintage" literally by definition.

My iPhone 5 belonged to my father-in-law before he died.  It was hardly used, and despite the fact that I had to ask my mother-in-law for it, it's still the one thing I have of his that was his own.  Everything else is collecting dust at her house.

The refurbished desktop PC I'm typing on now was purchased from a former SS friend who's no longer communicating with me, and the 2012 Nissan Sentra was purchased via life insurance proceeds relative to my late grandmother's death.

-------------------------

My wife suffered a stroke back in May.  She's at risk for having a second or third now that she's experienced the first.  And the next one could kill her on the spot.  And this could happen right now, at age 50, with three daughters under the age of 16.  I've watched her closely over the past 7 years in particular, and her body has aged quickly.  Yet, she's my wife, and therefore, I'm not about to give up on her and our marriage.  There's so much good there.  Considering the reality / outlook of our situation though, if Angie's life were cut short, it would be our daughters who would continue to represent all of that goodness for me.

-------------------------

I had lunch earlier this week with a friend whose childhood was a nightmare.  Physical, sexual, and emotional neglect and abuse were commonplace for him growing up.  He described how the majority of that portion of his life is blocked out within his memory.  And obviously, this is for the best.  

I'm thankful for my memories.  Especially those tied to the physical.  

I wear a rubber bracelet on my arm in honor of a close friend / brother, and have been doing so for well over a year.  The one I'm wearing now is the third, for the first two snapped over time.  After the second one failed, I asked my friend if he ever took his off his wrist.  He stated that he did not.  Therefore, I in turn began to do the same.  And it took a number of weeks to get used to having it around my wrist 24/7, but then again, our friendship is just as consistent, and likewise, it took time for me to buy into this relational truth as well.

The hardest part about not taking it off is sleeping with it.  For sometimes, it gets twisted as I'm sliding my hand underneath my pillow.  Nonetheless, I'm happy to keep it around my wrist.

-------------------------

We as western consumers are heavily pressured to forget and move forward.  Especially as it relates to convenience / self-preservation.  This approach though, disregards our robust memory, which separates us from plants / animals.  

One of the coolest supernatural / superhuman (fictional) abilities is clairvoyance.  This being the ability to "read" emotional / historical relevance via one's physical touching of a significant object.  Obviously, clairvoyance is the stuff of stories, but I do wonder sometimes if we should put more stock in what objects do actually embody as it relates to their impact, tangentially or otherwise, on our lives.