He Cursed the Barren Tree: The Parable of Holy Monday | Desiring God
Monday, April 14, 2025
Sunday, April 13, 2025
Monday, April 7, 2025
Grace Crossing Samson Group Reunion
Last night, I once again made that half hour trek to Canton in anticipation of attending the Grace Crossing Samson Society meeting. I did so, having been prompted by Mr. Aaron Porter early last week, in light of his weeklong visit to "Samson Mississippi" (please note my previous post therein). Therefore, just a few minutes post arrival at this beautiful suburban church, The Man arrived, and from there, we made our way towards the rear of the church campus excitedly.
Grace Crossing has expanded considerably since my last visit, having added a sizable children's ministry wing. I was able to recall that they were just beginning to interview architects for this addition around the time of my last visit. Nonetheless, whomever designed it, I was impressed with how seamlessly it complements the initial build.
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Mr. Joe McCalman (Grace Crossing Samson meeting facilitator) is a NOLA native. As such, he's passionate all around, but especially so regarding Grace Crossing church, his family and recovery in general. Samson Society is so fortunate to have Joe align with all our values, as his passion represents our community very, very well. I liken it to Mr. Justin Schwind's passion (for those of you that know Justin) just in a more Cajun-style package!
And speaking of Cajun-style, one can't mention this in-person Samson meeting without emphasizing the importance of the after-meeting (typically a restaurant in Madison). Mr. Joe McCalman is a foodie (both personally & vocationally), and man oh man, does this group ever eat well.
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What I love the most about this meeting is how laid back it is in light of its calendared position. There's just something easy about starting one's week off with a Samson meeting, and Sunday at 6 PM qualifies therein.
Be encouraged, my friends, to give this longstanding (since '15 or '16) in-person Samson Society meeting a shot. You'll be glad you did.
Friday, April 4, 2025
I Can Relate To Your (Patriarchal) Familial Imbalance. It Sucks For You, But It's Life As You've Always Known It. Endure.
What if your dad isn't at all like the man you've become (as a middle-aged adult)? Let me be more specific. What if he isn't (wasn't ever) capable (intelligence, personality, interests, motivation, etc.) of becoming the man you've become (as son, friend, businessman, leader, volunteer, etc.)? As such, all-in-all, let's assume he's honest and loyal to a fault, trustworthy and generally kindhearted as it relates to how he carries himself / engages with others.
Firstly, if this scenario represents - even in the slightest regard - your reality, there's a chance your father is going to see you - at times and within certain scenarios - in a paradoxically pejorative light. At least to some degree. Especially if you're his only son. And this has everything to do with how you - at times - make him feel.
Now why is this? What fuels it?
1. Competitive outlook that's baked into many men. Especially Type A men (which your dad likely is).
2. Your very existence (especially if you've telegraphed - to any degree - your being cognizant of this imbalance).
3. Men crave respect moreso than anything else. It's why the massive Ford F-150 has and continues to be America's #1 in vehicle sales each year. Can there be no greater disrespect than having a son who existentially contrasts so sharply with his father in light of his own (possible) insecurities surrounding his capabilities, drive, intelligence, creativity?
All in all, if this kind of bizarre hierarchal imbalance exists between you and your father, and you sense at times that he feels (almost or very much) threatened by you, I cannot emphasize enough the following:
Your FEAR of him, specifically his testy, indecisively (discriminately) temperamental persona is a massive waste of your time / energy. For that testy, indecisively temperamental persona can't truly hurt you (despite its scariness) though your boyhood self would argue otherwise.
To that end, it might have especially frightened you when you were a boy / young man, and that's understandable. Perhaps when you absolutely needed stable love and support.
But you're not a boy anymore.
You're a grown ass man. Remember that.
Oh, and one last thing.
Unless your father happens to be mentally ill or intrinsically cruel, he's no doubt very proud of you and your accomplishments as his son, a solid friend, successful businessman, natural leader, steadfast volunteer, etc.
Thursday, April 3, 2025
Tuesday, April 1, 2025
Aaron Porter To Visit Mississippi!
Mr. Aaron Porter (Pirate Monk podcast cohost) will be visiting Mississippi during the week of April 6th. I'm slated to accompany him to the Grace Crossing in-person Samson meeting on Sunday, (4/6), and schedule permitting, my hope is he'll attend other in-person Jackson, Mississippi Samson groups in kind (while he's here).
Aaron took on a part-time administrative position at Samson House (the nonprofit that underwrites the Samson Society) earlier this year, therefore this trip is in line with those new responsibilities.
For as long as I've been involved in Samson Society (since August '14), Mr. Aaron Porter has thankfully been present. He's invested countless hours of volunteer time into this men's ministry both via the podcast as well as annual (Samson Summit) / regional retreats ("48 Hours of Frankness"). Aaron is one of the most affable Samson guys I know. As such, if you have the opportunity to rub shoulders with him next week, you'll not regret it.
In closing, in the early days (Samson Society), Aaron even worked diligently to star in a film short promoting our communal cause (it unfortunately never got off the ground).
Whilst speaking with Aaron this AM, he touched on all the positive energy / momentum within our community. Energy that's being focused on tech upgrades (Samson Society website / app), optimization of intensive retreats (including a reduction in costs), building bridges between in-person & virtual Samson community, and on and on.
I'm so fortunate to know Mr. Aaron Porter. We're privileged to have him visit the Magnolia State next week.
Monday, March 31, 2025
Sunday, March 30, 2025
Divorce Prejudice
Earlier this week, I had lunch with an old friend. I'd bumped into him the week prior and upon taking his card, promised to follow up. This man is +/-12 years my senior, white, upper class (for MS), working in a tangential industry to architecture (my first career). He was instrumental in supporting me therein (while I was working in the private sector) for a number of years.
Around 16-17 years ago, this man surprisingly divorced his wife, and though it didn't hit me as hard as it would have otherwise (if we'd been closer friends), it still hit hard. For I knew his wife indirectly (I'd perhaps met her twice), and I knew he had two beautiful children.
Why?
I honestly don't know how to say this with any distinct class.
When I get to know men, any men, I see inside, and unless they're absolute fools (which very few are), it's obvious to me that a high percentage of their divorces are clearly longstanding relational forfeits. And this seems to be especially true when children are involved. In other words, a divorce, to me, unless it involves adultery, abuse, addiction is very rarely warranted. You might say this is an unreasonable approach I'm presenting (especially if said spouse is being "unreasonable")! And that's true. I really can't be reasoned with here. Divorce should be avoided at all costs. The Bible makes that clear, therefore why don't we follow suit?
We don't follow suit because we're birds of a feather, and getting divorced provides an accepted cop out that many folks willingly choose.
Along with divorce comes a certain tainting or mark that's inevitable. And, as you know, it's a forever mark that's almost impossible to hide. I believe most divorcees never realize this 'till it's too late. Now, whether or not they truly care therein is up to the individual.
As a sidenote, earlier today, whilst at the Y, I overheard two older men chatting about grieving the loss of (one of these men's) a spouse. After 10+ minutes of heartfelt diatribe, the newbie widower admitted that his now deceased wife was #2. In response, his friend admitted to being right there with him. In fact, he cited his first marriage as his "practice marriage". Puke.
And these were some old dudes who were making light of their historical, relational failures.
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Interestingly enough, during this same lunch, another old friend made his way into the restaurant. And too, this was a colleague from my architecture days. The difference though was this man (who's 5-8 years my senior) worked directly with me (again, private sector position).
And like my lunchable friend, he too eventually divorced his beautiful first wife, leaving his only child, a son, to manage the fallout after the fact.
If there's one man, for me personally, that's a divorcee (failure) figurehead, it would be this guy. For I knew him prior to marrying even. But as the years went by and his (first) wife's mental health weakened; his resentment was so very obvious. For his mockingly disrespectful words (of her, to anyone within earshot) more often than not, made my ears bleed and my heart hurt.
Eventually, prior to his quiet divorce, he began a heady emotional affair with a much younger colleague of ours at work. It was so obviously toxic to everyone on staff, yet no one but me chose to speak up (to the owners).
I can still see the two of these lovebirds staying long after 5 o'clock, gazing into each other eyes from the confides of this man's windowless office. Puke.
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Overall, I renege when it comes to deeply befriending men who're divorcees. The only time I've bucked that trend was back in 2013 whilst working at Delta State. At that time, there were two men who I befriended who were as such. One had chosen to not remarry and the other had been remarried for some time.
I was desperate for friendship whilst residing in that small town environment. These two were both platonically attractive in light of their pasts.
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When my parents' marriage exploded due to chronic infidelity (early '80s), according to my father, my parents sat down and seriously discussed the implications of divorcing: financial, emotional, etc. Afterwards, neither chose that route, and from there, they trudged forward in spite of the mistrust / woundedness.
Was their marriage ever the same? No.
But I can say this in full confidence: Had they divorced, only child me having to deal with that fallout in tandem with my own interpersonal (sexual identity / struggles with lust) suffering would likely have been too much for me to bear.
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I'm pleased to report that I'm becoming more sympathetic and forgiving of divorcees. I never imagined this would occur. I do believe my time at Delta State (2013) did me some good in that regard. For it forced me, out of desperation, to give divorcees a chance. A chance to be heard and loved in spite of their mark.
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