"The No Bull Briefing" - September 2023

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING - September 2023

Unplug, Recharge, and Rediscover Yourself at the Samson Summit In honor of our tenth national retreat, Samson is throwing a Texas-sized party! Join us the first weekend in November for our annual retreat, featuring The Place We Find Ourselves podcast host Adam Young. At the Samson Summit you'll have the opportunity to experience: Nature: Leave the urban hustle and bustle behind and immerse yourself in the serenity of nature available to you at Sky Ranch. We'll be surrounded by wide-open fields and a 90-acre lake. Personal Growth: Our retreat offers workshops and discussions on topics that will help you excavate and embrace the hard parts of your story that impact the ways you relate to yourself, others, and to God. You'll gain valuable insights and tools to navigate life's challenges. Community: Connect with like-minded men who are on a journey of self-improvement and self-discovery. Share experiences, stories, and laughter around the campfire. Adventure: Explore your adventurous side with activities like hiking, a high ropes course, and zip-lining. Step out of your comfort zone and experience personal growth through exciting experiences. Relaxation: Take a break from the daily grind. Enjoy downtime with other men to rejuvenate your mind, body, and spirit. Nutritious Cuisine: Nourish your body with wholesome food that energizes and revitalizes. Vegetarian, gluten-free or other special dietary requests can be accommodated - just let us know any dietary needs you have. REGISTER Our Annual Matching Gift Challenge is Back!  Our annual end-of-year matching gift fundraiser is back! For every new dollar donated between September 1 and December 31, 2023, our generous anonymous donor will match it dollar-for-dollar. Help us reach our goal of $50,000 by donating today. Just click the button below.  Only new gifts through are eligible for the matching fundraiser. DONATE Join Us October 7 for a Meeting Host & Co-Host Training If you host or co-host a Samson meeting, please consider joining us on Saturday, October 7 as we have a roundtable discussion with a few Samson meeting hosts about things that work to create deep connections and vulnerability within the meeting space, things that may have flopped, and any problems they've encountered during their time as online Samson meeting hosts.  There is no registration for this event, so please email us before October 6 for the Zoom link and passcode. Invite Your Partner to the Sarah Society Retreat The Sarah Society is taking their annual retreat on the road and will be gathering at the luxurious and serene property of Jordan Ranch. Located an hour outside both Austin and Houston, Texas, this property sits on 88 acres of lush green fields and provides outdoor activities (including hatchet throwing for those ladies who need to discharge pent-up emotions), 5-star meals, fiber-optic high-speed internet, and an amazing hospitality staff. Our featured presenter for this retreat is Daring Ventures founder and Betrayal Recovery Radio podcast host Dr. Jake Porter. Invite your partner to join us for two-and-a-half days of soul restoration and encouragement. LEARN MORE Regional Retreat Opportunities Planning a regional Samson retreat? Let us know at samsonhouseoffice@gmail.com or drop it on the #upcoming_event channel on Slack so we can help you spread the word! Monthly Resource Corner Each month, Samson Society will promote a resource that you may find helpful on your journey. Feel free to share any podcast episodes, blog posts, books, or documentaries that you find enlightening!  It's Not Your Fault by Laura K. Connell We are sometimes our own worst enemies, sabotaging our success and with it our chance for lasting happiness and opportunities for personal and professional fulfillment.  It’s Not Your Fault helps readers uncover the subconscious reasons they hold themselves back. These blind spots were often created in childhood as coping mechanisms in response to trauma. Rather than teaching tactics that ignore or give surface attention to adverse childhood events, the book lovingly guides readers to explore the ways these events have impacted their lives and how this knowledge will help them access true transformation. Readers will be relieved to discover that it's not a lack of willpower that has held them back, but a lack of self-knowledge instead. Listen to Laura's interview on the Pirate Monk Podcast or learn more about the book by clicking the button below. LEARN MORE Connect with us on social media! DONATE

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Recommended Viewing - Look At The Book: What Is Sexual Immorality?

Poem by Anonymous Samson Guy

There is joy in my heart.  It’s quiet.  A mask I wear to hide it all.  Afraid to realize the real me.  The rejection I would feel.  The fall.

A mending of my brain, I desire a new heart.  I long for
reprieve from past traumas, tossed into the fire.
A longing with Him to soar.

His word is truth, and His way is love.
He rescues the captives to set us free.
Releases us like a pure white dove,
Removing all of our sin that we can no longer see.

We are His, placed in the book of life.
We have kingship now.
We face our tribulations, human strife.
Remember how much he washed are sins and how.

It's Endearing Providing Matrimonial Security (After All These 27 Years) Whilst Horizontal

I mentioned (within a previous post) our recent sleep divorce.  This was something facilitated by our middle daughter (also) leaving for college this fall.  In anticipation of this, over the course of this past summer, the "big girls" room was transformed - via new twin beds / mattresses - from child's room to extra bedroom.

Throughout, my wife was (somewhat privately) repositioning all of this on her own behalf.  Particularly when it came to the mattress purchases (they were quite luxuriously expensive).

My wife's "stroke arm" (her left arm) is often (most comfortable) extended perpendicular to her body whilst she snoozes.  Hence, our queen bed doesn't necessitate this well, particularly with her 200lb husband (me) adjacent.  

Hence, about a month ago (in tandem with daughter #2 leaving for college), the sleep divorce was finalized.  It took me absolutely no time to adjust accordingly, though there were a few nights of eeriness as I began to imagine that Angie had stroked out for a second time and had died. 

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Earlier this week, Angie announced that the sleep divorce was over.  She was ready to sleep re-marry.  

Why?

At first, she was sharing the room with our youngest daughter (8th grader) who was sleeping within the adjacent twin bed.  But that didn't last (her snoring quickly shut this Jill & Jill setup down).  

It was the aloneness that got to her.  Being there within that tiny bedroom by herself.

I'm wondering, though I haven't mentioned it, if it harkened back to her weeklong May 2020 hospital stay post-stroke.  Being ushered in and out of ICU a handful of times throughout that week, and being there alone (I was only allowed to visit for one hour midday, each day, due to pandemic restrictions), made a distinct impression.  

So now she's back in bed with her husband.  And, according to her, she's sleeping soundly.  

It feels nice to provide that security to her via exceedingly close proximity.

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My oldest friend's (college) somewhat recently widowed mom began sleeping with a call-in radio broadcast playing from the adjacent pillow.  She did this to honor her deceased husband's presence enough to replicate that deeply longed for feeling of husband security (her husband died in his early 90s).

Now she's found herself alone in the single-family home that they'd owned together for decades.  

Women crave security.  Men crave respect.    

Angie feels secure.  Rob feels respected.  Win-win.

Recommended Reading

How a ‘Digital Peeping Tom’ Unmasked Porn Actors | WIRED

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A Faithful Man Who Can Find? | Desiring God

2023 Samson Summit! Please Join Us.

 

Sometimes the truths we are looking for show up in the most unusual places. A few years ago, at a Samson National Retreat in Eva, TN, Nate Larkin gave a talk entitled "Keys to My Recovery Journey." This wasn't one of the main talks, it was at a rec room down near the basketball court. There were only about 25 guys in the room. There Nate began to share some monumental practices he learned during his recovery. In just 45 minutes, Nate gave a full outline of how he personally learned to see and care for his emotions. He gave complete strategies of what he did that kept him from falling back into his addictions. It was a transformative moment -- one you absolutely had to be there for. You never know when you're going to discover the insight that will unlock the next step for your recovery. The only guaranteed way to miss out is to not be there. So take advantage of the best opportunity you might have this year. Don't neglect your chance to connect and grow at the Samson Summit, featuring key presenter Adam Young. About Adam Young: Adam Young is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with Master degrees in Social Work (Virginia Commonwealth University) and Divinity (Emory University). He currently serves as a Fellow with The Allender Center, and is the host of The Place We Find Ourselves podcast. How to Register: Don't miss this opportunity to invest in yourself and create lasting memories. Register for the Samson Summit today by clicking here or the button below.The deadline to register is October 15. Bunkhouse spots are $350 Multiple Breakout Sessions with Therapists, Recovery Coaches, and fellow Samson Brothers Down time activities include a high ropes course, mini golf, climbing walls, zip lines, sand volleyball, indoor or outdoor basketball, ping pong, and so much more! There will be opportunities for any person to engage in fellowship and deepen friendships with fellow Samson brothers during the weekend. Plus, there will be the always loved authentic conversations around a campfire. REGISTER TODAY

Recommended Viewing

Two Highly Recommended Regularly Scheduled Marriage Touchpoints

Angie and I are in uncharted territory as husband / wife.  Having been married 27 years, we've never experienced being (almost completely) empty nesters (2 of our 3 kidlets are out of the house).  It is an especially weird place to be residing within.  Our 1,550 square foot abode is so much less lively / loud.  There's so much less laundry to tend to.  Substantially less food to prepare.  We've even noticed how much cooler the house seems to be (even considering this brutally hot August).

She and I have discussed this weirdness when it's seemed appropriate, but overall, it's actually been difficult to describe where we're at.  More often than not, we just sort of stare at each other and shrug in an attempt to articulate this familial paradigm shift.  

Initially, I was so pleased to experience the absence of not just one (beginning two years prior) but two kidlets.  Now though, I'm enthralled at how bizarre it truly feels for both of our oldest children to be gone (college) and subsequently thriving on their own.

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Angie and I have always made praying together a priority.  Though it's never been calendared, we've consistently inserted it into our schedules ad hoc.  When we were early on in our marriage, we'd pray before going to sleep.  Usually, we'd hold hands whilst lying there, and one of us would intercede, speaking softly into the darkness.  

Now that we're sleep divorced (a practical, immensely satisfying development birthed from this almost empty-nester setup), our prayer time(s) happen in the living room.

But my point is they're still happening.  Regularly.  

Highly recommended.  Do this with your wife / girlfriend.  It's intimate and profoundly satisfying.

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A second commitment she and I have - to each other - is working out together.  Now, we don't shadow each other there in the Y, but we're loving the fact that we're together (strength training separately) within the same space during that time.  

This isn't something we've participated in together as a couple - consistently - for much longer than three years.  Angie's post-stroke rehabilitation deeply motivated her as to the importance of strength training.  That debilitating neurological event occurred in May of 2020.  As such, she hasn't looked back relative to our twice weekly sessions.

Again, highly recommended.  It's been tremendously helpful to our us.  And especially during this bizarre time within our marriage.

Lagniappe

Recommended Reading

5 Bad Reasons to Get a Divorce (thegospelcoalition.org)

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I Had a Helicopter Mom. I Found Pornhub Anyway. | The Free Press (thefp.com)

"I Found Jesus In Prison..." Ethan #11

"For it is true, we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted.  And so, it's those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love them completely without completely understanding."

 

Norman Maclean ~ A River Runs Through It