Should I Obey When I Don’t Feel like It? (thegospelcoalition.org)
Thursday, November 30, 2023
Wednesday, November 29, 2023
Monday, November 27, 2023
Saturday, November 25, 2023
Healthily Spotlighting The Intense Pleasure Of Youthful Masturbation
Friends of ours have an adolescent (homeschooled) son who's freaking them out via his interest in (compulsiveness regarding?) women's shoes.
How did this come about?
They've unintentionally barged in on him wearing mom's stylish dress shoes (buck naked) whilst lying down on his bed, and they've taken note of his Internet search history (images of stylish women's shoes).
This boy is the only biological child of this couple. He does have an older half-sister, but she's college-age and therefore out of the house throughout most of the day.
Their son isn't effeminate, but he has had a lot of trouble (sitting still / becoming distracted) excelling within a traditional (school) learning environment. Hence, he's spent A LOT of his time under his mother's wing, at home, while his peers were being educated within a classroom setting.
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Years ago, a Samson brother described to me how he spent a portion of his adolescence covertly trying on his grandmother's stockings as a sensual ramp up to masturbating therein.
As an adult, this man eventually ended up a convicted felon due to his penchant for voyeurism (Peeping Tom). This unsettling behavior (I would argue totally unrelated to his short-lived stocking fetish) unfortunately did grow forward out of adolescence. Being a schoolteacher at the time of his indictment, this criminal turn-on sent his educational career / family-life into a tailspin.
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My father spied on his only son (when I was an adolescent) until he was successful in confirming that Rob was indeed masturbating. From there, he immediately confronted me as if he'd never been a horny adolescent boy himself. As a result of this, I only redoubled my efforts to be covert whilst pleasuring myself. All the while, I unfortunately lost a tremendous amount of respect for my dad. For it was one of those critical moments where I was almost more ashamed for him relative to his ridiculously incompetent parenting skill (regarding this specific milestone) than actually how I came to feel relative to being singled out like some teenage pervert.
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When Bill Clinton was POTUS, he appointed a black woman, Dr. Jocelyn Elders, to be Surgeon General. She may have been the first black female to do this, but her appointment was short-lived due to her views on educating children regarding all forms of sex education (including masturbation).
This occurred in 1994.
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I had a Samson brother dismiss the notion of him being qualified to rear a son due to his fear that the boy's scheduled puberty would inevitably cause the dad to crater relative to becoming sexual with his son. And this man had no history of either being molested or molestation.
Nonetheless, he did rear two daughters and is now a grandfather (of an adolescent grandson).
I'm convinced the gaping holes within this man's own upbringing, as it pertains to being respectfully educated regarding all manner of male sexuality, had left a sizable blind spot. A blind spot that somehow put him on some sort of private, moral blacklist. Therefore, he'd convinced himself that ignorance via poor nurturing had carried forward into parental disqualification.
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When a boy moves into puberty, a lot of frighteningly fast physical change is taking place, but the most shocking one is his penchant for experiencing sexual arousal. And those experiences won't necessarily have a rhyme or reason.
Let's remember too that adolescent sexual arousal is a whole-body experience. In turn, traveling down that particular rabbit hole of pleasure (via masturbation) is also going to involve the entire body for the teen. Hence, it is, by default, a nuclear-scaled experience.
And this is why it is so important for adolescent boys to have an older, trusted male in their corner to help them put proper words to what they're experiencing and why (especially when unexpected bodily fluids start showing up).
And yes, even if they enjoy masturbating whilst wearing their mother's high heels.
In closing, what's so very polarizing about Dr. Jocelyn Elders is that as a black female, she actually had the guts to address these topics - for the record - running headlong into political / societal controversy.
Considering that, I have to wonder.
What if she had been a he (Dr. Jock Elders) and preferably white. Would some semblance of a productive dialogue been kickstarted back in 1994?
In closing, shouldn't it be influential men from their positions of power / authority doing this sort of heavy lifting?
For the majority of us had a youthful masturbation experience similar to the one I had with my own dad. Hence, there're bound to be chronic blind spots throughout the manosphere that most of us can relate to.
Why isn't this topic being addressed publicly with some needed care / respect? Particularly considering the ridiculous ease of access to pornographic material that's been part of western culture for decades now.
Enquiring minds want to know.
(& btw, whilst looking back, I wish I too had been wearing my mother's high heels when Robert, Sr. decided to spy, yet again, on me as the overly horny adolescent.)
Thursday, November 23, 2023
What Is The Greatest Gift You've Given Your Wife?
Engineered heat sinks are typically bulky and not at all very aesthetically pleasing, therefore they have to be discreetly positioned within the device in order to not draw unnecessary attention away from the whole. When they're doing their job well, the machine can run at maximum efficiency, performing remarkable work whilst being protected from the inevitable but deadly waste heat.
That being said, Earth's oceans are a God-designed heat sink. They do their job by absorbing radiant heat from sunlight throughout the day whilst slowly radiating that absorbed heat energy into the atmosphere during the evening. This oceanic heat absorption / release cycle is paramount to regulating Earth's weather patterns whilst also allowing our planet to benefit so fully from unencumbered sunlight as it spins away on its axis.
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Not long after Angie and I were married (27.5 years ago), we agreed to participate within an evangelism education program at First Baptist Church Jackson (where we were church members). The 8–12-week program met on a weekday night, and after sharing a meal / listening to the evening's evangelism training lesson, teams of three set out into the city of Jackson to evangelize. Because our church was as large as it was, there was usually a plethora of recent church visitors who were our first targets.
I distinctly remember my team visiting a soon to be divorced young wife and her two children. She was beautiful yet obviously very stressed, sitting there perched on the edge of the stylishly upholstered couch cushion within her family's sizable northeast Jackson home. Everything about her telegraphed the stress of her still new reality. It was unmistakable and very unsettling to observe. From the way her eyes darted around her living room to how she nervously reigned in her restless (& soon to be somewhat fatherless) elementary-age children. It was as if she had been a victim of such the unexpected trauma (which she had), and as a result, everything looking ahead had a deep-seated brokenness framing it.
I came away horrified at how powerless I was to this woman's woundedness, having never in a million years expecting to be faced with such the despairing situation during a routine church follow-up. I cannot stress enough the awkwardness between our evangelism team (of three) and this smoldering heap of hopelessness of a human being, during those few minutes. For it was literally off the charts.
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I first befriended my wife when we were in high school. She was an overweight, overly dolled up (cosmetics) porcelain doll of a girl with enough black head hair to easily manufacture three wigs with. Angie was terribly shy yet so very intelligent / articulate (when she would actually speak). Whenever I found myself with her (which wasn't very often), I always attempted to make her as comfortable as I possibly could. And usually, that involved me attempting to inject humor into both the situation we found ourselves within along with the dialogue.
Angie was naive but only because of her upbringing. Her parents were much older (20+ years) than most girls her age, and overall, they were prudish to a fault.
Eventually, she broke free of most everything I've described here (related to her childhood) by attending college far enough from Jackson, Mississippi that she was essentially given the opportunity to reset her entire existence.
Nonetheless, one absolute treasure that came about, in spite of her stifled upbringing, was the emotional counterbalance she naturally developed with her father. For were it not for that, she and I would not be married today.
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"I can no longer trust him with my feelings."
This mantra is often repeated like a drumbeat within the minds of scorned wives / girlfriends. For no matter what her man did to warrant this statement, once it's concretized within her mind, it's often a point of no return.
So, what does that statement actually mean? Never - under any circumstances - would a husband / boyfriend be inclined to say this about his woman.
"I can no longer trust her with my feelings."
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Women crave security from their man just as men crave respect from their woman. And that security extends to providing her with a means to contextualize / organize / engage with the vernacular of her (specific) real-time emotions. And he doesn't have to be physically present for this to occur. Not at all. But he must be emotionally compatible therein and have made (some sort of) a commitment to that compatibility being used to her / their benefit.
On the flipside of that process, most men (husbands / boyfriends) naturally reciprocate / counterbalance this "heat sink" role via sexual intercourse.
In essence, the notion is that once he's reached a certain emotional capacity, he uses that reserve to perform sexually. Therein naturally releasing that excess via coitus before the process starts all over again.
This is why so many marriages fail as a result of adultery, if you follow this logic. For it signifies that the husband has found someone else who's just as (if not moreso) compatible as the wife once was. As a result, the marriage appears to be an outdated one (not unlike a high mileage machine).
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In closing, this compatibility truly is something special when it's discovered. And, oh my goodness, does it drive women crazy when it's first set in motion (dating). Hence, the reason fornication is so prevalent (easy for guys to seduce towards) early into a relationship. For these ladies are experiencing an incredibly optimized state of being during those initial romantic days. It truly is being fully alive for them whilst radically buttressing their man's ego throughout.
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When Angie was in the rehabilitation hospital in Jackson, post stroke (2020), I was so thankful to be allowed to have dinner with her every day in spite of the COVID-19 visitation restrictions. Whilst looking back, I'm still unsure as to how this accommodation was made for us. Nevertheless, whenever I'd show up after work, there'd be an extra plate of hospital food waiting for me.
Oftentimes, I'd wheel her down to floor three, and we'd enjoy our dinner out-of-doors on the covered patio overlooking the adjacent (under construction) children's hospital wing there at University Medical Center. She'd recount the therapy sessions she'd experienced during her day, and we'd chitchat about the girls / my work. But I could feel her during those moments, so very efficiently, using me for her own emotional good. For there was so much emotional energy within her - both positive and negative - during this trying time.
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In conclusion, if your marriage is healthy, you're very likely married to a woman who had a father who demonstrated a proper compatible male / female emotional relationship. From there, she grew to become a woman and eventually found a similar compatibility in you. BE THANKFUL FOR THIS.
The beauty of all this is in how effortless it operates within the relationship. For it's God's beautiful, perfect design.
As such, it should be cherished, protected, regaled.
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