I get so consumed with my day-to-day life, so focused on the 10,000 hurdles I have to jump over to simply survive, attempting to scratch out some measurable level of success. The constant fight to stay on track and not waste huge amounts of time focusing on my shortcomings and all the things in my life I need to fix. This, in and of itself is exhausting! Focus is everything inside this human experience, and life is hard, damn hard! Only those with healthy coping skills will survive (intact), and this walk can’t be done alone. We need each other, or at least a support system 99% free & clear of toxicity. This requires face to face connection and a lot of time facing uncomfortable truth about ourselves. Therein that struggle is fertile ground to grow from. It's all in line with a proverbial seed first being broken in order to absorb the nutrients necessary to sprout forth into the adjacent season of growth.
Brokenness has been such a huge part of my entire life, and the healing process takes so very much out of me at times. Some days it’s all I can do to just make it to the couch, and from there, make an effort to put the pocket computer down. Trying to dull the suffering I deny each day (via that device), knowing that this is about as good as it gets. The majority of this mindset is an outgrowth of demonic lies only meant to drag me deeper into the pit of depression. It’s times like those where I need to stand up and get my body moving.
But more often than not, someone far worse off than me crosses my path, reminding me of just how small my problems / complaints truly are. The truth is…I’m so very blessed. I’m mostly healthy and able to work. I’m no longer in the grasps of addition as I once was; my kids are healthy, and I have a warm bed to sleep in every night. So what’s my problem!?! It’s very simple! I’ve allowed my focus to be on work. Self-work, career-work, around the house-work, and so on and so forth. It never ends and the enemy is always there to remind me of all the falling short I'm known for.
I talked to a dear friend of mine earlier today. She was stressed to the max attempting to make time for house-work on top of running her own business and marriage. I sat there thinking, “You need better boundaries and realistic expectations in your life. You can’t do it all at once…” And without missing a beat, God reminded me of how I’m doing the same thing in my life. And I’m someone that conscientiously attempts to count his blessings more often than not, and I’m still - so very consistently - out of focus as to what truly matters.
Not to mention the friend diagnosed with cancer or another suddenly dying within a car accident. These tragedies seemingly force me to weigh what is truly important within my life.
Ultimately, I need to do a better job honing-in my focus towards gratefulness. It’s a lost attribute in our world of hustle and bustle. We are better people with gratefulness in our field of vision. We give more, are slower to anger, and recognize more joy in this world when we’re focused on just how good we have it. What is so important in our lives that we can’t stop for a few minutes each day and thank God for his mercy and grace? I’ve hit some pretty bleak valleys within my life and not once was I able to outweigh my issues against the basic blessings within my life. 60% of this planet still has no domestic hot water. I could have just as easily been born into a jungle family in the Congo (living in a mud hut) as I was born in God's country, West Virginia. And yet I loose my temper about every other day on the highway due to road rage. All because I might arrive five minutes later than I'd hoped for.
Perspective is everything, and reexaming my perspective is an ongoing struggle. Pray for me and I’ll pray for you and maybe both of us can do a better job of living inside gratefulness instead of constant frustration / complaining.
No comments:
Post a Comment