This past Sunday, we had some visitors (new friends) to Lakeside Pres over for lunch. We had a delightful time, with the primary purpose being introducing their oldest daughter to our youngest (in hopes of brandishing a relational entry point towards Lakeside's youth group).
As we were dialoguing about Lakeside Pres' youth ministry (as our family has come to experience it), the wife of the visiting couple chose to bring up a "creepy" youth pastor she was under the tutelage of when she was a teen. She went on to say that her commentary regarding this man she'd never divulged even to her husband. As such, she was visibly tense as a result.
Angie and I then cited our very first youth pastor (back in the '80s) at First Baptist Church Jackson, and his swift termination due to similar behavior(s). I mentioned too (in general terms) the numerous instances I'd had described to me relative to outright pastoral abuse towards teens.
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When Angie and I were faced with our beloved youth pastor being fired abruptly at First Baptist Church Jackson, we were just old enough (14/15) to understand that something terrible must have gone down to warrant this. Everyone loved Rick. He was incredibly approachable, a capable Bible teacher, etc.
The powers-that-be, in response, then hired a female youth pastor to replace him. I can't help but believe that her having a vagina and breasts gave those decision-makers some peace of mind going forward.
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Immediately following my graduation from college in 1995 (Mississippi State University's School of Architecture), I was invited to join a Young Business Leaders' (Jackson) Bible study. I did so, but the small group I ended up in didn't have legs. From there, I drifted away from this local parachurch ministry until the Executive Director wooed me to return (4-5 years later).
I was delighted to then sit weekly with this Executive Director within a new Bible study group made up of 5-6 local Christian men (all of which were new faces to me). I was a good bit older (& wiser), therefore my appreciation for said group had shifted immensely.
This ED was incredibly approachable, a very capable Bible teacher, etc. (he reminded me of Rick, the disgraced youth pastor, in many ways).
Sadly, it was the August 2015 Ashley Madison hack / exposure that eventually preempted this parachurch minister's termination from Young Business Leaders.
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During the fall of 2010, the then youth pastor at Lakeside Pres (he was terminated in January 2012 / last day August of that same year) came to me for support relative to his online "porn addiction".
Though I'd never heard the phrase "porn addiction", it scared the hell out of me. Especially in light of it coming from the lips of our youth pastor (who came across as a genuinely nice guy).
Keep in mind that our oldest daughter, at this time, was seven, therefore our children weren't YET under this youth pastor's guise.
A few months after his request / confession to Rob, this younger man was placed on probation by Lakeside Pres' elders (they weren't privy to his "porn addiction"), giving him six months to "right the youth ministry ship" (he never did).
From there, he took another youth pastorate position (within another state) which only lasted a few weeks before his termination there.
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All three of these pastors / ministers were sidelined (at least partially) by sexual sin.
I was thinking, thinking, thinking last night about these men (particularly the last two because they're more recent). It's important to note that the only one I'm still in touch with is the latter. He and I chat every week.
Those this may sound like a weird statement, I'm going to declare it. I believe these men were somehow feeding off of their rebellious / morally corrupt behavior for a distinct emotional purpose. It's just that I've no real understanding of what was being fed or how. For them to be M Divs (Master of Divinity) throughout (or at least working towards) is what's so bizarre / counterintuitive from the standpoint of attempting to understand why they were so needy to begin with.
My still friend (who I chat with weekly), I believe, attempts to drown out what's left of his (years later) regret relative to what he risked losing (which he eventually did) in order to obtain that which I couldn't back then nor still can't comprehend.
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In closing, I'm convinced that certain men (no matter their chosen vocation) have powerful drivers that put them in harm's way in order to feel - a certain way.
My friend used to talk about feeling "anything" as his ultimate goal (which I used to chalk up to a cop out).
Was that the end goal? Intensely feeling a certain way? If so, how did the emotional life of these men become so lobotomized to begin with? Especially in light of them pursuing the pastorate.
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One final thought (& this may sound ridiculous):
None of these three men were Associate / Senior Pastors at a church I was a member of. Typically, the Youth Pastor position is a steppingstone to these. As such, these men's true colors were exposed therein (before gaining access to more responsibility / influence via a higher position).
Parachurch ministries, in my opinion, don't equate to church. Hence, though those men may believe themselves to be pastors, they are not.
I'm so fortunate to have befriended / been ministered to by numerous pastors / assistant pastors throughout my life. These were men (& women) who simply didn't have this default impropriety that reeked such havoc within the lives of their peers.
Nonetheless, each of these remain within the same plane hierarchically. All had value for such a time as that.
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