5 Ways to Fight Envy (thegospelcoalition.org)
Monday, August 30, 2021
Sunday, August 29, 2021
The Sperm Of The (Gulf Of Mexico) Hurricane
Tulane University championed a sperm study post Hurricane Katrina (16-years ago) that resolved the unexpected influx of impregnated women immediately following that catastrophic event. The assumption was that romantic interludes sprang forth from bored couples who were left with "nothing else to do" post-Katrina except have intercourse. But that didn't explain the exorbitant amount of pregnancies that resulted during that natural disaster. For as we all know, birth control practices don't just cease to be when our normal way of life is turned up on end.
Hurricanes borne out of the Gulf of Mexico are unique in that their barometric pressurization is massively low. Because of this, as researchers at Tulane have proven, sperm production within men's testes is uniquely impacted.
Sperm's mobility is a result of flagella. Flagella are "tails" on the end of sperm cells that whip about violently, and therefore propel the cells forward in search of the ovum.
Men's testes are constantly manufacturing a gosh-awful-lot of sperm cells each day, and under normal atmospheric conditions, these sperm have flagella that are all the same length. But within the unique atmospheric conditions needed to manufacture a Gulf of Mexico hurricane, sperm's flagella length & energeticness is massively impacted.
Therefore, for about 2-3 weeks following a hurricane event, those men who're situated (hunkered down) within the direct line of the storm's impact will likely see their sperm production mutated as such for better (mind blowing sex) or worse (additional dependents) via these sorta now hipster single cell organisms.
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A sperm cell must puncture the ovum (or egg) within a woman's fallopian tube successfully in order for a zygote (fertilized egg) to spring forth. The pathway up through the woman's reproductive organs is chemically hostile to the sperm, therefore most do not survive the journey. Hence, when the few who do successfully locate the ovum attempt to penetrate, most are unsuccessful, due to physical degradation (fatigue).
But this precludes the small window of occurrence of the Gulf of Mexico hurricane sperm (for those certain geographically & atmospherically situated guys).
These little buggers can travel up to 5x as swiftly than their normal flagella-ed brethren. And as we know, accelerative speed not only equates to ovum penetrative power but far less exposure to those nasty uterus toxins.
Hence, females are successfully impregnated with stunning efficiency by their all-the-while ignorant mates...unbeknownst to them.
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Another outcome of the Tulane study solved the prophylactic question as well. At least regarding condom usage.
It was successfully proven that these Gulf of Mexico hurricane sperm were so vivacious / energetic that standard latex condoms weren't of high enough millage to hold them back (inside the rubber). Often, upon ejaculation, these little buggers would simply power their way through the rubberized membrane, instinctively seeking out their target like so many heat seeking missiles.
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In conclusion, as we all know, a man's orgasm is a result of sperm's flagella "tickling" the stud's uretha gleefully as it ferries its way "to infinity and beyond". This is what causes the intense pleasure of the man's reproductive organs at orgasm / ejaculation, with particular emphasis at the penis' head as the sperm blow past the authorities in pursuit of their final "launch" outside of the dude's body.
As such, Gulf of Mexico hurricane sperm, with their "super flagellas" exhibit such over the top orgasms for men, that the urge to have sex no doubt increases exponentially.
This too, per the Tulane study, accounted for another factor in the sizable pregnancy uptick post Hurricane Katrina. In essence, the average coastal dude became a stud overnight. In spite of the fact that his pad had no electricity or potable water to speak of.
Therefore, be mindful, all you guys down in NOLA / along the Gulf Coast. Though the hetero sex you participate in over the next few weeks will be arguably the most intensely pleasurable of your life, you're moreso likely going to end up with a(nother) kid to tend to as a result.
As I've always said, pregnancy sex is the best sex. But especially during the few weeks after riding out a Gulf of Mexico hurricane.
Friday, August 27, 2021
(In)Toxic(ated) Masculinity
There're gas stations surrounding our 'hood at the Reservoir along with numerous liquor stores, bars (one that even lets you throw axes after a few drinks), "discount" tobacco and CBD (whatever that is) stores. This area has truly "matured" into the "last stop before home", particularly over the past few years.
This region that we've lived in (multiple decades) is right on the edge of the oldest developed portion of the ginormous Ross Barnett Reservoir "resort area" (on the outskirts of Jackson). "Resort areas", by definition, have recently been given legal credence to many of the aforementioned retailers. In other words, they wouldn't be allowed within this area otherwise. And this recent "Resort area" legislation was, of course, spearheaded by legislators who now own (all or a portion of) many of the leasable properties ("strip centers") here within this particular region of "The Rez".
We even have one of those - very recently added - standalone bag-o-ice robo-dispensaries out in the parking lot of a 40+ year old strip center! Of which, a few bags are just perfectly suited to fill the cooler (that's full of booze) in order to keep it nicely chilled for the start of the weekend.
I mean, this area has become about as white trash Mississippi as you can get. As such, all that's really missing now is an Asian massage parlor. It's no doubt morphed into a microcosmic anti-Madison.
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I was just out and about (earlier today) gassing up our vehicles (in preparation for next week's forecasted natural disaster) at one of these gas stations here adjacent to our 'hood, and I realized that it was right at 5 PM on a Friday afternoon. I had to go into this particular station to retrieve my receipt (pump printer paper was either out or jammed), and whilst doing so, was instantly struck by the scene.
The scene which screamed 5 PM on a Friday afternoon.
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A former friend, who's no longer here in Jackson, and I were chatting many years ago about how his beer stash within their family's fridge would inevitably be tampered with whenever his son would have friends stay overnight for a sleepover. And he found this amusing.
I remember asking him (this dude is a pastor) why he "occasionally" drinks beer at all. And ultimately, he answered that question by admitting that it's simply too cool to not.
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When I worked for the State of Mississippi between 2006-2012, I befriended a fellow bureaucrat (who didn't work within my bureau but tangentially to it). And this dude warmed up to Rob very quickly (to the point that it was a little freaky). I remember doing my darndest to minister to him (at arms length) through our friendship (succinct chats at work, etc.), but that all seemed ridiculous to continue with once he admitted to his true love.
I can still see his face when he stated that he - without any exception - drank 8 to 9 beers a night (that he purchased on his way home from work). The grin was unmistakable. It was one rooted in (in)toxi(cated) masculinity.
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So what exactly was that scene that I just recently witnessed at our one of many Reservoir gas stations?
Men being men. Cool men, in particular.
And what does this mean exactly? I'll be honest with you. I'm not really sure. For I'm certain booze doesn't taste nearly as good as some other beverages.
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Earlier this week, I stopped into (arguably) the most well established haberdashery in Jackson in order to purchase a gift certificate. It had been over a decade since I'd darkened the door of this retailer, and immediately upon walking in, I was instantly transported to my teen years when my mother used to bring me there (there was - back in the '80s - a boy's clothing offshoot upstairs).
The smell of the store, the style of the furnishings, even the scale of the space, relayed masculine comfortableness. And it wasn't a comfortableness that encouraged lingering (for men DO NOT linger), but as you might expect, retail efficiency.
And this points back to where we live out here at the Reservoir, which arguably has become - over the past 10 years - a masculine retail encampment.
And a big part of this has to do with booze. Lots and lots and lots of booze.
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Booze is a massive revenue producing liquid. It takes time and energy to brew, and trends force breweries to stay one step ahead of the masses' taste buds / specific definitions of cool.
But it's not just the booze itself. For I'm convinced it's just as much the purchase of the booze and the ice and so forth that's part of this very significant masculine identifier.
When I was faced with the scene at the gas station, the line was at least three patrons deep - all men - holding their respective case(s) of booze. Each of them knew the Persian clerk behind the counter by his first name (& he knew theirs), for I could hear their banter during the transaction. One of the patrons also purchased some sort of fruit flavored cigarettes to go with his weekend booze. I know this because it took him awhile to decide on what flavor (there looked to be +/-50 on display).
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There aren't that many retail hotspots solely dedicated / designed for / paying homage to men. But I'm now convinced that we do sort of live in one of them. Who'd a thunk? Cheers!
Thursday, August 26, 2021
Sunday, August 22, 2021
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