Sunday, October 6, 2024
Friday, October 4, 2024
Combating Mundanity (Loosening The Grip Of The Private, Self-Destructive Novelty)
When I worked for the State of MS ('06-'12), there were two sides to our team. The opposing side (opposite the "employee team" I belonged to) were mostly smokers and all males. And though their ages were varied, these white men (who were usually only in the office - for the full day - on Mondays & Fridays) made a point to take a smoke break - at least twice a day - in order to break up the mundanity of the government job.
I'll never forget naively discovering this routine via happenstance, and literally being shocked seeing most of them huddled up within the "designated smoking area" there on the north side of the Woolfolk building (basement level of the attached garage).
What was great about this routine was the community it built amongst those men (in spite of the inhaled carcinogens).
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When I was in architecture school (+/-43 students were in my class of '95), I vividly recall two fellow students (one of which died a few years back) who smoked cigarettes regularly right outside the architecture school building. One or the other of the two young men would initiate this ritual by moving within view of the other (their desks were on opposing sides of our assigned studio space). From there, a cig would be raised high to signal what was to come next.
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What's the takeaway here?
Men get bored with routine. It's the reason men / fathers aren't typically small children's (infants / toddlers) primary caregivers.
We long for adventure and newfound experience(s). And usually, a brotherhood component exists as part of that.
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Privately consuming Internet porn is the antithesis of this. No camaraderie. No brotherhood. Not to mention supporting an industry that's debased as a result. Its digital toxicity running amuck with a reach & influence that's almost completely unchecked.
I read an article earlier this week (I can't provide a link since it's behind a journalistic paywall) that featured a family with three adult sons, all three of which are floundering. Two of the three young men dropped out of their collegiate studies and are now living at home whilst working for the family business. Disillusionment was the theme. The boys' parents were exasperated and losing hope.
There was no mention of video games, social media or Internet porn consumption being suspect in exacerbating the problem for this stagnated family. This shocked me because it was so obvious (these were obviously rich, white people).
Instead, it indirectly blamed women gaining the educational / vocational upper hand and therefore outmaneuvering their male counterparts.
Please.
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I'm almost an empty-nester (one to go!). My wife works most evenings. I love to exercise, but I do also covet my downtime.
Nonetheless, I must be intentional about interrupting the mundanity of my existence sans self-destructive novelty (Internet porn consumption).
Samson Society's brotherhood provides THE EASIEST fallback. Whether it's attending meetings or being intentional about connecting with a brother one-on-one, there's an instantaneous isolation antidote.
If you haven't taken the plunge, I encourage you to do so today.
Recommended Reads (Literally)
Per a Samson brother:
I don't know where everyone is in their journey, but I want to mention two books that have helped redirect my thinking on who God is, who He says I am, and what it looks like to be a godly man and husband...
The Cure by TruefaceExemplary Husband by Stuart Scott
I almost didn't read The Cure. A Samson brother mentioned I might like it. So, I got the Audible version and got busy with life and didn't make time. Then, a month later, this brother mentioned it again and I recalled Audible. From there, I showed it to him, confirming it. That led to me listening to that tome nearly 8 or 9 times. Obviously, it was very impactful.
I found Stuart Scott's book, Exemplary Husband, at church almost by accident. It was on a bookshelf (obviously appointed by God) and when I read it, it simply blew me away.
These both complement what's going on in Samson in the sense of us becoming the men God has planned (all along) for us.
I don't mean to suggest these should / might replace your commitment to community, having a Silas, taking your mask off and being authentic. Instead, they may very well be a welcome companion on your individual recovery journey. I mention them to you simply because I'm thankful someone mentioned them to me.
Thursday, October 3, 2024
Recommended Listening (Dr. Dan Allender, Ms. Cathy Loerzel & Mr. Adam Young Roundtable)
Three therapists answer the question, "As I become more aware of the harm from my childhood, how do I engage my parents, or should I engage my parents at all?"
Tuesday, October 1, 2024
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