What Eighth Grade Taught Me About Race (thegospelcoalition.org)
Monday, January 16, 2023
Sunday, January 15, 2023
What Aspired Rob To Climb Upward Towards Nate?
Mr. Nate Larkin, the founder of Samson Society, paid a visit to the Jackson, Mississippi Samson groups back in August of 2017. I don't believe that was his first visit here relative to regional-specific Samson "marketing", but I do believe it does represent his most recent. He'd been in Alabama a few days prior, speaking at a men's conference (sponsored by a church). From there, he and Dr. Tom Mouka drove west to the illustrious Magnolia State. They'd arrived later than had been planned, but nonetheless, in plenty of time for the local Samson guys who'd come to share a meal (BBQ pork + homemade dessert, if I remember correctly) and meet THE MAN face-to-face.
I'm pretty certain this was the same year I began attending National Samson Society retreats in middle, TN (November of that same year). Leading up to this dinnertime meet & greet, I vaguely remember becoming frustrated with one of our local Samson group facilitators who refused to make this event a priority. His excuse for not attending was so impetuous, I felt certain he was hiding his true loner motive.
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Samson Society wouldn't exist were it not for Nate Larkin. Taking all the good that's come from this ministry into consideration, why wouldn't you make meeting THE MAN a priority?
My theory relative to answering this question is as follows: Nate is nondescript, he leads with weakness & he becomes visibly uncomfortable at even the slightest identifier (adulation) of fame.
Take a hard look at the photograph above, taken towards the end of the evening during that '17 event. If you didn't know who Mr. Nate Larkin was, would you be able to confidently pick out the founder of the Samson Society within that photo?
I would argue that of everyone pictured there, Dr. Tom Moucka looks the most "Samson Society leaderly", simply by taking his countenance, posture, dress and build into consideration. But that's not Nate. That's Tom. Tom and Nate are great friends, but Nate is what I described above (which isn't Tom).
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Archie Manning has always been my father's primary role model. A close, close second to Mr. Manning is Dr. James Dobson. As a sidenote, I've always believed that my father's dream job would be serving as the Manning family butler (at their NOLA estate).
Both of these noteworthy leaders have many, many admirable attributes / characteristics, and I would argue that first and foremost, it's their respective (spotless, squeaky clean) reputations that draw so many admirers. Archie is Mr. Ole Miss football. Plus, his pedigree has brought to bear strapping next (& next) generation athletes that honor his puritanical, hardworking, All-American legacy. Dr. Dobson's audience is mainly women (housewives), but for whatever reason, my dad has always had a soft spot for Dobson's mellow, sublime yet earnest style (radio delivery). If my dad has cut one monthly donation check to Dobson, he's cut a thousand, and will continue to do so until the day he dies (putting his money where his admiration is).
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Around twenty years ago, I began seeing a staff therapist at First Baptist Church Jackson (Summit Counseling) in response to the ramp up I was experiencing relative to my Internet porn use. This man had watched me grow up, having come to our church when I was in either the 4th or 5th grade. One of the questions he asked me during a session (about halfway through the +/-6 months I saw him regularly) was, "What men at our church do you admire?"
I remember his surprise when I simply couldn't tick off a list of 5-6 candidates that we both knew might qualify for excellent "masculine (Christian) admiration candidates". I sat there in his office feeling strange, knowing I'd disappointed him by not answering.
At that point in my life (I was around the age of 30 at this time), what I saw both within Christian and professional circles were men whose primary goal was to fixate on their reputations above all else. Hence, when it came to dirty laundry (skeletons in their closets), these effectively remained hidden. Regarding "company they kept", it seemed obvious that losers need not apply. And regarding notoriety (fame), these men covertly embraced it wholeheartedly (every chance they could).
One overarching truth relative to this observation was how in contrast their modus operandi was compared to Jesus Christ (as chronicled within the four gospels). And this is primarily what kept me from fully admiring them / holding them up as role models.
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I had lunch last week with a local Samson newbie who I met via the greater Samson universe (Slack). He asked some great questions about my experience in Samson, one of which prompted me to write this post.
I never realized how much I admire Mr. Nate Larkin 'till I began taking a harder look at my own recovery / commitment therein to that recovery. Recovery takes a long-term commitment, and the vessel therein by which recovery is accomplished is massively important. I've no desire to throttle back my ongoing involvement within Samson Society. Not because I'm "still having a grand time", but because I ultimately want to support Nate's ministry and Nate himself to the best of my ability. As such, longevity is no doubt a big part of that.
In closing, Mr. Nate Larkin is a textbook introvert. It doesn't take long to pick up on this. Whenever he's present at the National Retreats, you can tell he's being "sucked dry" of emotional / spiritual energy. Hence, he's also unusual as a ministry leader in that regard. And just so you know, I'm also an introvert.
There's a lot to be said for finding Christian men to look up to. By doing so, you're positioning yourself well to learn from and in turn, support therein. I honestly didn't believe I'd ever find my Archie Manning / Dr. James Dobson, but by God's grace, I most certainly did.
Saturday, January 14, 2023
Friday, January 13, 2023
Recommended Reading - THIS MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT POST WITHIN THIS BLOG
The Lifelong Power of Close Relationships - WSJ
Excerpt: "...If we accept the wisdom—and, more recently, the scientific evidence—that our relationships are among our most valuable tools for sustaining health and happiness, then choosing to invest time and energy in them today becomes vitally important. It is an investment that will affect everything about how we live in the future."
Thursday, January 12, 2023
Are You Caressing My Scalp? / I Was Simply Attempting To Be Nice...
Back around 2007, I befriended an Aussie via the magic of the Internet. Scott & I hit it off immediately, and the friendship endured (with fervor) for +/-18 months (it was an email bonanza as we were both fervent writers).
One of the curious admittances that Scott made to me was his willingness to traverse "over hill & dale" (many kilometers) to have his haircut. Scott was quite scrupulous about his looks, admitting to wanting to achieve "maximum appearance appeal" 24/7/365. It's important to note that the barber he utilized, he was very sexually attracted to, and as such, especially enjoyed the noteworthy "tactile special attention" he received (perceived?) therein.
Overall, (according to Scott) this barber was not at all bashful about touching my Aussie friend (around his head and neck) with just enough delicacy to telegraph that perhaps there was moreso there than just a professional rapport. Was this intentional? And if so, what exactly served as the motive therein for doing so?
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Back in the early 2000s, I found myself working side by side with a number of young architect interns who just happened to be female. One young lady ended up - last minute - on an ad hoc design team with Rob, and once we met our (fast approaching) deadline (we were working on construction documents for a large scale collegiate educational building), I chose to give her a "thank you" note for her hard work. I singled her out in this regard because this was her first large-scale project team effort to be a part of, and she was female. I had enough firsthand knowledge about women to know that they LOVE handwritten notes. So that's how I chose to communicate my sincere thankfulness.
I distinctly remember leaving the small envelope in her office chair after quitting time one day, and every day afterwards, our relationship was never the same.
I could see this clearly in her eyes whenever she and I interacted (post-"thank you" note).
Never again did I attempt to express my professional thanks in this way WITH ANYONE. I became deeply regretful relative to my naive stupidity.
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My barber is around age 60. I have been a patron for decades. The haircuts are exceedingly affordable which I particularly like because my hair grows FAST. In all honesty, I could get my haircut far more than I cyclically do (& no doubt improve my aesthetic consistency).
A number of years ago, my barber's middle child attempted suicide, and due to the various self-inflicted (gunshot) wounds dramatically reduced his quality of life. Eventually, this child died (quite young) as a result of these wounds, but the death was drawn out / very, very slow and as such, agonizing to endure (for he and his family).
My heart broke for my barber. To witness the horror / endure the trauma of seeing one of your children both execute this move / live with the physical ramifications was so, so sad.
Not long after this child's death (it was a private funeral that few individuals were made aware of), I wrote my barber a letter expressing my condolences whilst offering up an overview of my story (my barber had alluded to some personal trials this boy had endured during his childhood). Apparently, this letter was very well received. Enough so that it even sparked some follow-up dialogue (regarding Rob's story) between the two of us, and I was grateful for this.
It's important to note that my barber has unabashedly stated that my letter is "tucked away inside the Bible" where it can be re-read often.
Wow and yikes. That was not my intent.
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Over the past 3-4 times I've had my barber cut my hair, there's noticeably been a more unguarded approach to my barber's interaction with Rob. Especially as it pertains to physical touch. Now, barbers are like surgeons. Their job is to touch their clients (albeit with tools in hand for the most part). But, when you've experienced a longstanding pattern with said barber, and that interaction begins to shift to more intimate and less professional, that's bothersome. Especially when you know you're fulfilling a need (close, longstanding friendship) for / alongside that person.
In response to all this that I've shared up to this point, let me stop here to announce the following:
One of the most important attributes of my job is NOT HAVING ANY COLLEAGUES WHO AREN'T BIO FAMILY.
I work alongside my parents. Eventually, I'll be hiring an employee, but for now, it's simply the three Turners.
I like the safety therein.
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In closing, when I last had my haircut, my barber's touch (whilst rinsing out my hair, post-haircut) wasn't professionally executed. Instead, it was moreso tender and delicate. And because the hair washing sinks are in the "backroom" of the barber shop, there was no one else with us as this occurred.
Am I cursed to become Aussie Scott in this regard? Was I simply reading too much into this / imagining things? Those are pivotal questions in my mind as of late.
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