When I was a college student (Mississippi State University architecture school), at least once a year, our class of +/-45 would take a prescribed trip to an urban center for "building studies outside of (small town) Starkville, MS". During my sophomore year, we trekked via Greyhound bus to Chicago! The year was 1992. And the trip, overall, was a blast (never had this Mississippi boy ever ventured to the Midwest much less to The Windy City).
As such, early one fall morning, I found myself begrudgingly taking my (what felt like reserved) seat on that MSU stagecoach next to none other than fellow student, Greeco Johnson. Greeco was a first-rate crowd snark. As such, he was only truly tolerable (to anyone) in very small bites. Hence, sitting stationary beside for 12+ hours wasn't going to be easy much less fun.
Now, it's important to know that I agreed to sit adjacent to Greeco partially because I felt considerably friendless and stuck. And Greeco must have known of this in light of him taking advantage.
When we finally made it to the Windy City, (3-4 hours behind schedule) I was absolutely exhausted (mostly via my bleeding ears). For Greeco's unfiltered starkness was on full display with no descent in sight.
And the very next day (officially beginning our tour), I found myself once again - expectantly, demandingly - situated (entangled) beside Greeco.
Until I chose not to be due to the availability of a relational escape hatch.
Now, before I go any further, please realize that Greeco was intelligent and articulate and exceedingly put together, but his primary focus 100% of the time was himself (especially within a group setting). His thoughts, his feelings - full throttle. And again, that was okay to tolerate in short bursts, but only in short bursts.
I liken(ed) Greeco to a grown ass man toddler.
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At some point after the '23 Samson Summit in Texas, I reached out to Greeco 2.0 (Samson brother) and asked if he'd be interested in rooming together at the '24 Summit (scheduled to be held within the Carolinas). He agreed and I was grateful to be finally "out of the bunkhouse". Greeco 2.0 also lives within the Deep South and as such, I took it upon myself to drop by and visit (in advance of the '24 Summit) in order to meet his sweet wife / experience their abode. These were good times. As expected, their modest home was orderly and neat and they were exceedingly hospitable.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW THAT GREECO 2.0 WASN'T ACTUALLY GREECO 2.0 (TO ROB) AT THIS TIME. Back then, he was simply another Samson brother.
And the '24 Summit went well, but I began to notice how snarky my roommate could be but especially so whilst retreating. Amplified snarkiness?
Here's a quick aside that I believe is worth mentioning: There's night & day difference between the average college student vs. Samson brother outlook. One is self-serving while the other (should be) other-serving. Hence, snarkiness wouldn't at all be out of place within the former. Therein lies the strangest paradox baked into Greeco 2.0.
So, what do I mean by snarky?
Having a rudely critical tone or manner 100% of the time. Thoughtlessly behaving / speaking. Senselessly irritating. Gruff. Anti-social yet never not present (front & center). In conclusion = hard to be around for extended periods of time.
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Chris Bruno ('25 Samson Summit keynote speaker) made the comment early on in his talk(s) about all of us attendees subconsciously "dick measuring" against each other. He was referring to the process men instinctively go through whilst gathering amongst fresh masculine faces. Essentially, it consists of silently ranking one another, and it's completely normal.
As I believe I've shared prior, "dick measuring" isn't something that I've been a part of as a grown ass man. Though that's ever so slightly beginning to change.
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In the distant past, trusted, heartfelt friends really didn't come easy for me, but today, that's changed, and it's all the result of both me maturing forward physically, emotionally, relationally alongside a culture that's become far less averse to men like me (effeminate, metrosexual, distinctly non-machismo) - at least outside the confines of Mississippi.
If my 53-year-old self could go back in time and speak into the life of my then 17-year-old self, letting him know of how much better served by community he'd be - down the road of his life, he'd have such the difficult time believing the older version of me.
Chris Bruno touched on becoming a sage as an older man, and that genuinely piqued my interest!
So, what's a sage? Here's my own definition:
Firstly, he's someone who's immovable in his convictions. As such, completely immune to interpersonal / underhanded attacks (they can certainly occur but they're ultimately fruitless attempts to undermine) due to the solidarity of his (lived / walked out) beliefs.
Secondly, he's been blessed with an undeniable relational portfolio. Mostly this is familial but too, it cannot be denied that it's also platonic. That portfolio is built on steadfastness and trust and its returns have been / continue to be staggering.
Thirdly, he listens moreso than he speaks. Therefore, he sees this mundane life for what it truly is - temporary.
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At this year's Samson Summit, I befriended a (by every definition of the phrase) Big Man on Campus. And it wasn't like I even really pursued this guy. Instead, he simply fell into my lap for lack of a better phrase. And yes, he became my quite timely relational escape hatch (pertaining to Greeco 2.0).
And sure, we were at the other-serving Samson Summit. And he and I both attended the leadership initiative (a day in advance of the retreat itself).
And I've spoken to him once since the Summit, even going so far as to let him know that I'm hopeful to be rooming with him next year.
Now, let me address what I mentioned earlier in this post. The cultural shift.
Samson Society is certainly a microcosm of our greater western culture, and therein, that culture has shifted towards a much more relaxed / less polarized outlook regarding homosexual thoughts / feelings. But, within Samson Society, it's almost presently understood to be representative of a complete dismantling of labels / identities. As if sexual sin - no matter the specific content - is simply that: sexual sin.
But I believe it was the sageness aspect, that truly sealed the deal for Rob pertaining to this friendship.
Big Man on Campus is very, very attractive to me but unlike in years past, not in unequal measure to my own love and respect for myself. This is big shift. In other words, I see no need to elevate him above myself even by one millimeter.
It's me finally connecting to the man I always dreamed of becoming via the fragrance of internal peace I can't help but now emanate due to the work I've chosen to do.
Samson Society provided the setting for me to see this through. Specifically, it was this milestone that made this year's Summit so memorable.
