Reflections on a "Desiderata" life, pt. 1
The word "Desiderata" can be traced back to the root word "Desidero" in Latin. Loosely translated, it simply means "desires of the heart."
The Latin Word dēsīdĕro
has several meanings. Of these several meanings, the most fitting one can be seen as:
To desire or to want, to long, to wish for, to request, to require, to need
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Sometimes, life is just noisy. Right now, I am in a season of life where I have very little "alone time." The moments, the hours, the days and the months...they are quickly fleeting and vanishing. Many times, I have to remind myself to slow down and take it all in. The moments when my soon to be ten year old son says something funny that makes me truly laugh from deep within or the moments when my fifteen year old dog wants to lay next to me in my favorite chair and snuggle as he rests his weary body...moments such as those are quickly fleeting and will soon vanish.
As someone who struggles with (but is recovering from) anxiety and depression stemming from past abandonment and rejection issues, isolation and alone time can be dangerous for me. As an introvert with a capital "I," isolation comes naturally and quite easy for me. Indeed, I love to isolate and be alone; I find it easy to tell myself that I don't need people...
But the honest truth is, I do need people. I really do. And people need me (or at least I would like to believe they do.) As crazy and non-stop busy as life is at times, I remind myself that I need to be mentally present, be engaged, and love others while doing life. And so it is, that I choose to go "placidly amid the noise and haste" that is my everyday life. But there are small pockets of precious time, windows of opportunities if you will, that I am afforded times of silence. Sometimes my old dog and I sit together in our favorite chair as I read God's word or a novel. Sometimes I will leave my desk and take a quick stroll around the beautiful campus of the venerable and esteemed institution I work for. It is there that I find peace; I find peace in the silence.
Nearly five years ago, on a cold January day in 2019, my oldest friend had brain surgery at Vanderbilt University Hospital in Nashville. As a surprise to him, I drove to Nashville the day before his surgery to be with his family and sit with them as he went into surgery the next morning. Because of work and school commitments, this was a solo trip and my family did not accompany me. As soon as he went into recovery the afternoon of his surgery and I knew he would pull through, I left to make the return trip back to Mississippi. On the return trip home, nearly 7 hours in length, I never once turned on the radio or had any distracting noise in the car. My time during that trip was spent in conversation with God as well as ruminating in my own thoughts. To this day, that has been one of the most peaceful trips I've ever been afforded the privilege of having. 7 hours of glorious silence. It did my soul an amazing amount of good.
"Loving others as God loves me." This has long been my mantra in life. Even as an introvert, I have discovered in my middle-aged adult years that I am incredibly needy when it comes to having others (especially men) in my life. As much as I love to isolate, isolation is dangerous to my soul. Very dangerous. As an adult male, I have been blessed to have found incredible friendships, camaraderie, and support in other men who have risen up and helped to heal the broken young boy who still lived inside of me. They have done this by meeting me where I was, loving me unconditionally, and walking with me down roads that were not always easy to travel on. Loving others does not mean that I must always get along with everyone or even agree with everyone's opinions. Quite the opposite. It means that I am willing to rise up and meet others where they are as I love them for who they are. It means that I hold on to my own convictions and beliefs while simultaneously stating to them "I hear you, I love you, and I am willing to listen to you even as I hold on to my own values." We don't have to agree with everyone about everything in life. That would be a fallacy. It is also impossible to do. True beauty in life can be found in peacefully co-existing with others and valuing them as fellow human beings even in times when you don't always agree.
My challenge for you this week is to go "placidly" amidst the noise and haste that might perhaps invade your everyday life. Love others whom you encounter during those "noisy" times. And most of all, look for those beautiful moments of silence (though small they may be) and cherish them as you use them wisely; let those moments of silence, those moments where you find your peace in the solitude, be the fuel that gives you strength to go through the noise and haste in life.
~S
