Monday, December 12, 2022
Sunday, December 11, 2022
My Sam's Club Lingerie
Throughout my married life (26+ years!), I've shopped at Sam's Club (warehouse club that competes with Costco's) for everything I possibly can, though I've never stooped so far as to actually purchase clothing there ('till recently). Earlier this year, I actually bought a bag of basic ankle-high (white cotton) socks, and though I purchased a too small "size range", I was surprisingly pleased with not only their price but their wearability.
In the same vein as my socks, I've always been hard on my underwear (skivvies), though it's important to know that I DO change my underwear daily (I've heard of guys who forego this hygienic 24-hour habit). Please know, dear reader, the thought of repeat-wearing my briefs is not at all appealing to me.
Keeping that in mind, I'd executed an underwear purge a few months back (discarding the too stained / too holey ones) and found myself down to the bare minimum quantity (daily wear!). As such, I'd sometimes open my undies drawer, post-morning shower, and find the "men's lingerie" section depleted. Therefore, in order to not have to go through the day covertly posing as a porn model (sans Jockeys), I'd bolt to the laundry room anxiously in an attempt to locate some fresh whitie-tighties.
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Sam's Club is the bastion of cheap. If you were looking for the most uncool place within our free enterprise society to admit to being a patron, it would be Sam's Club. It screams cornpone, folksy to the same degree that Neiman Marcus decrees established ritz. At Sam's Club, there's definitely no valet parking. In fact, there aren't even any shopping bags. It's just sealed concrete floors, asphalt paving (for miles), harsh overhead lighting (suspended by chain link from the exposed bar joists) and supersized signage (glued-on vinyl letters) displaying words like:
FROZEN
REFRIGERATED
RESTROOMS
VISION
PHARMACY
SNACKS
VARIOUS QUOTES FROM SAM WALTON'S WIFE
So, you guessed it. I decided to purchase some replacement underwear from Sam's Club as a follow-up to my aforementioned sock buying success. And, I must admit, these briefs are brief. They're absolutely no frills (there's no tag, only silk-screened text directly on the fabric). But that's okay. I'm not shopping at a department store or even an outlet retailer. No, this is Sam's Club.
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Inevitably, when I was growing up in Bob & Darlene's household, my father would forgo re-dressing himself after exiting the master bedroom after a long day at work (he was a salesman). To be more specific, he wore a coat and tie to the office most days (even on hot, humid summer days), therefore the very first thing he'd do whilst arriving home was go straight to my parents' bedroom to shed his "uniform". At the same time, he inevitably had a lot on his mind that he wanted to share with us (mostly my mom), having been away throughout the workday. Hence, in lieu of re-dressing into his "around the house attire" (depending on the season) prior to exiting the master bedroom (& walking back to the other end of our ranch house), he'd - more often than not - prance back into the kitchen / den in nothing but his skivvies, passionately chatting incessantly about this or that.
And this was simply due to him not having the wherewithal to take a few additional needed minutes (seconds?) to re-dress himself prior to engaging with my mother and me.
Thankfully, five to ten minutes later, he would return again to the master bedroom and put on some clothes. In many ways, this bizarre routine was like watching a misplaced stage performer abruptly enter and exit repeatedly - between scenes - sans any actual costume change. Call it a dress rehearsal sans dress.
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Of course, like father, like son.
I do the exact same thing many a workday. Just as I described my father doing when I was a boy. And what's truly hilarious regarding my situation is our master bedroom is much closer to our home's living space(s) than what my dad dealt with.
And I have to admit, this pedigreed zaniness has been going on for quite a long while. Embarrassing my children especially, just as my father did to me.
As such, at some point last week, Angie let me in on an observation that my middle daughter made to her, in private, relative to my perpetual "brief" antics. Apparently, she divulged to her that "dad's new underwear is practically see-through".
Practically.
Practically?
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So, this leads me to believe that Mr. Sam Walton had at least one additional interest besides making boatloads of money selling discounted cereal and toilet bowl cleaner.
Now, today, I actually see my bi-monthly Sam's Club shopping experience a little differently. Yes, I'm grateful for the low prices and the myriad of merchandise available to purchase (in bulk), but now too, I'm exceedingly pleased to be in on Sam's little secret.
Who'd a thunk? Sexy Sam. You bad boy you.
Saturday, December 10, 2022
Friday, December 9, 2022
Monday, December 5, 2022
"Fearless Wonder Of Glory" - JR Everhart
I was talking to my daughter last night about our mortality. We are currently dealing with a pet that we love dearly who's beginning his final season of life. We are both very sad about this whilst supporting each other as we walk through this season of Teddy’s life out. In turn, we've been speaking about other tough circumstances such as advanced directives and our wishes when we ourselves (myself in particular) reach our final season of the human experience. I made a statement about not wanting to lay in a catatonic state or in a nursing home for years by saying, ”Please, just let me pass on to glory. I barely want to be here now, much less after a life changing episode or terminal illness…” In response, my daughter and I both looked at each other and laughed because she knew exactly what I was referring to. Lexi and I are very connected in many ways in this world. (As I am thankfully with all my kids.) We don't feel as if we're being morbid by laughing about accepted death. We obviously want to continue to live long happy lives together. But neither she nor I have a fear of death. The human experience is hard and full of suffering on many different levels. And even with a positive outlook, you can’t deny that heaven is going to be exponentially better than this life on earth. I desire that! There’s nothing in this world, and I mean nothing, that I’m so in love with here on earth that would make me want to stay here one second longer than God has intended. My life is better now than it’s ever been, but it’s still full of sacrifice and pain every day. My body hurts, my mind rarely rests from the stress and anxiety of our society, and my heart has been broken more times than I can count. And yet, I view myself as blessed in the face of all that. I’m as happy and satisfied as anyone could hope to be.
That being said, there is an underlining emptiness that haunts all of us. No one is exempt from it, and it knows no social boundaries. After ten years of being counseled withing recovery circles, I’ve heard the same stories of emptiness over and over from people in every imaginable stage of wealth to poverty. It’s just part of life on earth. Some live glorious seasons of joy without a thought of hurt or pain. But I guarantee you that underneath all the smiles and material junk they surround themselves with is self-doubt and a sense of impending failure. Those doubts are the thorns and thistles of this world. Some just hide it better than others. The Bible says with much knowledge comes sorrow. In the end though, the more you understand these things, the more you see death as a pathway to true freedom.
It’s genuinely hard to talk about these things without people thinking you’re in some form of crisis or despair. I can promise you that’s not the case with us. We just see life as it truly is - temporary. We are not promised tomorrow, and best-case scenario is that we lived to a ripe old age, surrounded by our loving family prior to passing on to glory in the elder years of our lives. Some aren’t that fortunate; some tragically die in a car accident or from cancer within mid-life. In my mind it doesn’t really make much difference if it happens today or 35 years from now.
My hope in Jesus Christ declares my eternal reward in heaven with him. Where I will never have to fight through the thorns and thistles of this earth's cursed nature ever again. And where I will never wake up feeling like a failure - this is just around the next corner! Not feeling good enough to be loved or being forced to remember the trauma of my childhood - I’ll truly be free of these things! I’ll never have to fight the evil desires of my flesh again, and I’ll never experience another heartbreak. That’s A LOT to look forward to! I love my life, honestly, I do! But when it’s my time, I’ll welcome death like a long-lost friend I’ve missed and desired for decades.
I realize this is a dark topic and some run from these ideas. In my mind, there is no fear of death and I’m 100% comfortable with its arrival whenever that may be. I never forget that with each passing day, I’m one step closer to my eternal home in glory. Fear has no control over me in this manner. I am eternally secure and only wait for my number to be called up. In the meantime, I do try to do some good, and help those in need around me. I’ve never claimed to be a very good Christian. But I do believe, and my heart is focused on being someone God’s glory can shine through in spite of my failures. His grace is sufficient for me. So, until my time here ends, I live each day like it’s my last. I try to love hard, and practice patience with those that are hard to love (which can sometimes be me). That being said, I’m learning to love myself along the way as well.
Saturday, December 3, 2022
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