Honoring The Mother Ship's (First Baptist Church Jackson) Cherished '70s / '80s' Pastor - Dr. Frank Pollard - 1/8/78 transcript

 

Memorial Day 2022 - Remember The Fallen. Thanks Be To God For Those Who Serve.

A Holiday Weekend To Listen (To My Wife)

The reason my wife fell in love with Rob was because I chose to listen to her.  For I had not a straight bone in my body.  Nor was I a hyper-competitive male looking to make my "first million" by age 30.  Nonetheless, Angie didn't give a shit about those things.  Instead, she became entranced with my interest in her / her state of mind / her hopes & dreams, etc.  Why was this so important to her? 

Angie grew up in an ultra-dysfunctional household where everyone constantly walked on eggshells relative to her mother's untreated mental illness (borderline personality disorder) and (seasonal) alcoholism.  BPD's primary descriptor is an intense emotional self-focus.  To the point of obsession.  And this preoccupation with one's emotional frame of mind is absolutely sacrosanct, therefore within Angie's family, this was the overarching delineator within the real-time family dynamic.  Hence, Angie was, by definition, the overlooked, emotionally neglected child, who did her darndest to simply keep the peace.   

To give you an idea of how intrusive / domineering my mother-in-law's BPD was / is, I can still recall one Easter holiday where my parents hosted lunch to include my grandmother (now deceased) and Angie's parents.  My grandmother, of all the Turners, was quite the intelligent woman, and she ended up seated, during lunch, next to Angie's mom (whom she'd never met).  Before everyone departed from the festivities, my grandmother pulled me aside and stated, "There's something wrong with that woman."

And she was so right.  

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Over the past 3-4 months, Angie has been singlehandedly cleaning out her mother's +/-3,000 single-family home.  The house was built in northeast Jackson in the early '80s, and the majority of the interior / exterior reflects how it looked when my wife was a child (she's in her early 50s today).  Our two youngest daughters have also been pitching in relative to this monumental task, but all in all, it's been left to Angie.

My mother-in-law is physically capable to assist with this effort, but she chooses not to.  Instead, she simply hovers around Angie and the girls, talking incessantly.  My mother-in-law is one of those individuals who says EVERYTHING that comes to her mind.  And she's an extremely intelligent woman.  Hence, her CPU is always providing plenty of fodder for her to articulate.  Unfortunately though, my mother-in-law's age is / has been taking a toll on her short-term memory, and this is what's prompted the (post hand wringing) decision to discard all of the garbage / refuse out of her house.  Ultimately, all parties involved have decided that she must move out of her abode soon.  Living independently, especially considering the squalor (which isn't going to miraculously disappear), is no longer an option. 

You might be wondering why I haven't assisted with this effort.  It comes down to my mother-in-law feeling threatened by my presence.  Therefore, it's been left up to Angie to see this project through.

One side note:  Angie does have one brother, and he too lives in the Jackson Metro.  He's in his late 40s and is in superb health (unlike my wife) with zero responsibilities (he's childless) other than working the night shift at a local hospital and feeding his beloved pooch.  My mother-in-law absolutely adores him for he can do no wrong.  Yet, in spite of him agreeing to pitch in with this effort early on (he actually met with Angie and her mother at their childhood home to discuss at the beginning of this year), he's been a complete no show (despite repeated cries for help).

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Today is the 2-year anniversary of Angie's stroke.  And, by God's grace, she's not had a second one (that we're aware of).  This is an amazing gift from God because many stroke patients are not so fortunate.  She's been quiet today, and I know it's due to her reliving what went down on this day in 2020.  

She and I pray often, thanking God for both her stroke in 2020, my job loss in 2013 and other events within our marriage that brought great, unexpected suffering.  And we do this because suffering has the potential to increase faith.  She and I would like to believe that this has been the case for each of us, thanks to those terribly difficult events.

My job this Memorial Day weekend is to pay heed to my wife by making myself available to her with both ears open.  Tomorrow, she'll return to her mother's home to continue forward with the cleanout.  My hope is that before the day is done, we'll have a few additional minutes to connect; just as we did so effortlessly during our dating years.  Listening to Angie is the greatest gift I can give her.  She is (like all of us) is hardwired to receive.

Lagniappe

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"A Letter To Pirate Monks Everywhere" - From Dr. Tom Moucka

 

Greetings! We have some exciting news and a special request.

First, the good news:   The first truly international Samson Society Retreat is open for registrations! Thanks to our fellow Pirate Monk, Daniel Wiens, we will be hosting two weekend retreats in Italy - specifically for an international attendance.   Samson Society is committed to being an international organization accessible to all men everywhere. We currently have men in 62 different countries, and we conduct meetings in several languages. This retreat will be a celebration of our common roots and our united mission.   Join us October 7-9, 2022, in the Apennine mountains about 2 hours away from Rome,  or the next weekend, October 14-16, at Forterocca near the French border and approximately 45 minutes from Turin International Airport, for a weekend of connection and communion in a beautiful Italian setting.   LEARN MORE ABOUT OCT 7 - 9 LEARN MORE ABOUT OCT 14 - 16

Now the special request:    Years ago, when I was planting a church, a neighbor asked me how it was going, and when I told her I felt like I was way out on the limb of faith, her response took me aback. She said, “Tom, you know what you need to do? You need to scoot a little further out on that limb … it’s safer out there.” I was speechless.   My friends, we are scooting further out on the limb of faith with the international retreats. Basically, we are launching Samson Society as a full on international organization. We’re not talking “an American nonprofit in other countries,” but an international organization based in America. However, with that comes significant new expenses to cover travel, translation work, web development, and indigenous leadership. Who knows, maybe even a base of operations in another country.    Over the next three years we anticipate additional expenses of just shy of $130k, but for the short term we need $25k. I’m not asking you to pony up more money than you are currently contributing, but I am asking for two things: Please ask the Lord to bring to us one or more benefactors who can fund this dream, and Think about who you know that may be able to be that benefactor. If you will introduce that person to me, I will tactfully introduce them to our community and mission, and make a very compelling ask.  Nate and I, and the board of Samson House, are completely convinced this is in line with God’s leading. He has called us to step up and fill this gap, and He will provide.   Guys, this is exciting. Let’s make it happen!   With you in the battle, Tom Moucka

"No Bull Briefing" - May 2022

 

THE NO BULL BRIEFING - May 2022

Ask an Expert:  How Do I Have "That" Talk? By Roane Hunter, LPC, CSAT-S, CMAT-S As a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and a Clinical Associate with the American Board of Christian Sex Therapists it is surprising to me how many parents avoid the critical responsibility of imparting a whole, healthy Christian understanding of sex/sexuality to their children. Given the broken nature of our entire culture around sexual issues, and even a basic understanding of what real love is, this issue is foundational to raising emotionally, mentally, relationally, and spiritually healthy adults. Read More Have a question you would like answered? Send it our way and we will see what we can find out for you! Give an Hour, Get Much More! We dream big at Samson, and we hope to be able to offer one meeting every hour of the day so no matter what time of the day, you can hop on a meeting and receive connection and community. We also believe that an important part of growing your recovery is by helping others with theirs. And we can accomplish both goals simultaneously! If you have any interest in potentially hosting a Samson meeting, we are here to help you. We have a Virtual Host Training Video to help you get started, as well as a test meeting you can use to practice the slide workflow. Watched the video, but still anxious? Want to know the weirdest thing that's happened in a meeting? Need to hear some stories of encouragement to strengthen your ability to take that step to host or sub? Let us know and we have Samson brothers on standby to answer your questions!  Lastly, as a thank you for giving your time and talent to host or sub a meeting, we will be starting a monthly host & sub giveaway. Every time you host or sub a meeting and complete the meeting host notes, your name is entered in to a pool. At the end of the month, one name will be chosen at random to receive a one-time discout to the Samson Merch Store. We will announce each month's winner in the NBB! TWO Chances to Join us in Italy! Do you sometimes find yourself acting or reacting in immature ways? Does conflict with your partner sometimes degenerate into childish language or behavior? In this retreat, Nate Larkin and Kaka Ray will explore what it takes to "grow up" into free and fully integrated adulthood, capable of connecting deeply with another person. We are offering two retreat opportunities in Italy later this year. Join us outside Rome from October 7-9, or near the French border on October 14-16 for a weekend retreat. Hear more about what's happening in Italy in this Pirate Monk Podcast! Regional Retreat Opportunities Planning a regional Samson retreat? Let us know at samsonhouseoffice@gmail.com or drop it on the #upcoming_event channel on Slack so we can help you spread the word! Blue Ridge Samson Society Retreat If you're looking for a place to connect and learn to tell your story, join us for the upcoming Blue Ridge Samson Society Retreat.  Dates: Friday, August 5 (4 pm) - Sunday, August 7, 2022 (1 pm) Location: Blue Ridge, GA Cost: $300 (plus registration fees), which includes lodging, meals and storytelling materials. Registration through Eventbrite What will we do? We will have a great time of fellowship, sharing stories, and building community in the Blue Ridge Mountains. It will be an awesome time to go deeper into what God is revealing in your story. Plus, you get to connect with other men and hear THEIR story to help you process yours. It's gonna be a tremendous weekend of healing together! Email Chris Inman at chris@np-recovery.com if you have any questions. We hope to see you there! Calling men to begin "breaking the darkness" in our lives and in our world by walking and living in authentic brotherhood. The purpose of our retreat is to help men dare closer to Jesus and find freedom in our lives by learning to be ruggedly honest and supporting one another as broken brothers in confidential spaces. The retreat will feature Nate Larkin, nationally known speaker, author or "Samson and the Pirate Monks," and founder of the International Samson Society. Monthly Resource Corner Each month, Samson Society will promote a resource that you may find helpful on your journey. Feel free to share any podcast episodes, blog posts, books, or documentaries that you find enlightening! Email us at samsonhouseoffice@gmail.com. If we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and to be stewards of the stories that we hear. In Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown explores eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human and walks through a new framework for cultivating meaningful connection. This is for the mapmakers and travelers in all of us. Also, if you have HBOMax, check out her special, Brene Brown: Atlas of the Heart, where she takes viewers on an interactive journey, bringing together a dynamic mix of powerful storytelling, film and television references, and a range of impressive researchers. Partner With Us as We Grow Samson Society does not have dues or fees, but we do have expenses. Help us introduce more men to recovery by making a monthly contribution (suggested $20.00, if you’re able give more, please don’t hesitate). We will work tirelessly to keep your trust.  Considering how much time and expense we have put into unwanted, unfulfilling habits, many of us have recognized it only makes sense to invest in our own and other’s recovery. DONATE Connect with us on social media!