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Will God Resurrect BoyRob? (Especially Considering That Blazen Rebuke By My Own Hands.)

I often have vivid dreams.  Recently, one of those featured my toy poodle, a childhood dog that my parents purchased for me when I was in 6th grade.

I wish I could say I was a loving, caring dog owner, but I was not.  This animal served more like a physical stand-in for the part of me that simply wanted to be loved (too much?).  And as such, due to my disgust with myself, I absolutely didn't fulfill that wish.  

Nonetheless, the dog lived a 15+ year life, existing well into my young adulthood (thanks to my 'rents caring for him while I was away at college).  

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When I lost my campus architect job at DSU (September of '13), I beat my boyRob self to a pulp, blaming him for not having the chutzpah needed to simply sit quietly and behave.  Instead, he was deliberate about attempting to come up for proverbial air, often late into the evening or after hours behind the closed door of my front office.  Ultimately, this resulted in the institution having grounds to fire me.  Hence, in my mind, 1+1 = 2.  Therefore, if I could remove that second "1", there'd be no more risk involved, leaving me (1+0 = 1) completely in control.

So that's what I did.  At the expense of my whole self.

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I immediately knew this boyRob had either fled or was dead when I walked into a movie theater during the summer of '14.  It had been just +/-8 months since my termination.  The film was an animated family feature that was screening (with the family) at a discount (summer family film fest).  

I sobbed throughout the 90-minutes.  And not because of the content / uplifting nature of the film.  No.  I sobbed because it became immediately apparent to me that a part of me was completely missing from that experience.  That part that usually sprang to life whilst entering into a movie theater (he relishes the experience).  Therefore, there was no enjoyment therein.  Instead, it felt as if I was simply wasting my time sitting in a large room with strangers.

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Many moons have passed since that summer afternoon.  

And I'm convinced God will restore this "1".  Perhaps soon I'll see more vestiges of my toy poodle. 

Join Andrew Bauman's Transformative Virtual Sessions at the Samson Summit!

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17 Days 'Till The 2024 Samson Society Summit

The 2023 Summit was a dud (despite it being hailed as a celebratory tenth anniversary milestone event).  The venue was completely (laughably) out of scale for us +/-250 perverts. Plus, it was incredibly posh (by Samson Summit standards).  You could sense that generations of rich white Texas families had poured millions of dollars into this (rich, white kid summer camp) facility there in east Texas.  Why anyone felt it a worthwhile fit for a Samson Society weekend retreat, I have no clue.

The pristine buildings (meeting space, cafeteria, bunkhouses) were spread far, far apart, and like much of Texas, the landscaping (trees) was not prolific.  Hence, there was an abundance of "wide open space(s)" between buildings which only exacerbated the sense of over / out-of-scale.  To summarize, the retreat, to me, was filled with entirely too much necessitated traversing back & forth, back & forth from building to building to building due to the college-campus scaled venue.

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I did not ride with a crazy speed demon Samson guy as I'd done during '22.  This time, it was my sweet wife and youngest daughter that accompanied me (after dropping me off in Van, they continued on to Dallas / Fort Worth for the weekend).  

After retrieving me early Sunday, (11/5/23) we headed to Marshall, TX for church and then on to lunch with Presbyterian pastor friends.

Frankly, that was the highlight of the trip.  Everything else felt like a raw deal.  And again, much of it had to do with the extremely loose-fitting, high-falootin' venue (which continues to leave me scratching my head).

I'm afraid many guys won't be returning to the '24 Summit event due to having a similar experience as I did in '23.  It simply left a bad taste in my mouth for the monies / time spent.

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This year we're headed to North Carolina.  Fayetteville to be exact.  And by my count, this will be Rob's 8th Samson Summit.

Hence, due to the distance, I'll be flying.  And, there's an extra day baked into the Summit this year.  One that's specific to facilitator training.  This will allow for more THERE time which I'm very much anticipating.

Another plus:  I'm semi-private rooming it this year.  Every other Summit, I've stayed in the bunkhouse.  That, I'm anticipating as well.

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I've said this before about these trips, and I'll close with this.

There're so many ghosts present during these retreats.  So many.  It is uncanny.

Samson Society is one of those ministries that simply doesn't nurture long-term commitment.  And frankly, I like that.  It gives guys a clearcut opportunity to receive and give of their own accord, at their own pace, with no strings attached.  And that leaderless / non-goal-setting formula hasn't changed from day one.  And this is what makes Samson Society so very important to me.

It's as if I'm literally wired for this specific ministry as a non-team player / loner.  Thanks be to God for Samson Society.

Lagniappe