I've been swimming moreso this summer than I've ever swam. This being the result of my gosh awful foot sprain (no more running!). Ouch. We're members of the Y, both of which have pools (two indoor / one outdoor).
One recent weekend, I couldn't help but notice a fellow sun worshipper / swimmer (young husband / father) stolen away from his lovely fam. As was usually the case on a Saturday, the pool was hopping with rednecks. This young white guy was lounging on the pool deck close enough to Rob for me to hear him covertly dialoguing with someone over his pocket computer. His verbiage was low and muffled, but distinct enough for me to know for certain that he was talking on his phone (sans holding the device up to his head).
I quickly surmised that he was there begrudgingly for an "all Saturday afternoon" outing alongside one other nuclear unit (friends from church / the travel sports team?). As such, for those few long minutes, both his wife / girlfriend and the children (his?) were splashing around without him, no doubt, all the while curiously wondering why he'd chosen to steal away.
His female companion eventually sashayed over adroitly in frustration. And that's when he lied to her about what he'd been up to.
From there, he exited stage left to the outdoor men's restroom. I have no doubt that another cellphone call ensued only this time, it was behind closed doors.
I strongly suspected he'd been / was now chatting to someone his wife / girlfriend wouldn't approve of.
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When Angie and I were dating (mid '90s), we traveled together to NOLA for some event related to one of her friends from college. If you've an avid reader of this blog, you know NOLA is where I first longingly gazed upon / consumed full frontal male nudity (photos within Playgirl) when I was a high school student.
As such,, as a follow-up to what had occurred in 1990, I took it upon myself to at least attempt to view some additional print smut whilst in the Crescent City. Nonetheless, I had to lie to my girlfriend / future wife in order to maneuver around her constant sweetheart presence (long enough to attempt to peek).
Had to lie.
Had to.
Lie.
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When I was participating in my third in-person Samson Society spring intensive / retreat in '17, a longtime Samson brother sheepishly admitted to having affairs with 26 women whilst married to his then wife. He said this with a grin on his face, having not gotten caught even once.
It wasn't long after that retreat that we unorthodoxically brought our families together for a restaurant meal. It was undeniable that my brother's primary intent therein was to adjudicate the looks of my wife in steed. I distinctly recall his decades-long bride being lovely, though my heart broke at her naivety.
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Mr. Nate Larkin has often triangulated me into friendships with married men who, like myself, experience same-sex attraction. And some of these have fucked A LOT of other horny men through the years. What's unique about these guys is the "seasons" of illicitness they tend to fall into, taking their entire adult lives into consideration.
Too, many of these men have wives that seem not the least interested in knowing the full extent of their husband's unfaithfulness. Instead, she chooses for it to stay much more conceptual.
This can make for a recipe for disaster.
Why?
Full disclosure as it pertains to unfaithfulness can do two / three extremely important things instantaneously.
1. Protect the wife's health. If she's privy to her husband's affairs, she can take steps to protect her physical body - both in that moment & on down the road.
2. Dramatically increase the chances that her husband won't cheat (at least to the same degree) again.
3. Kickstart / turbocharge her husband's recovery effort.
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Now, what's the future to look like post full disclosure? No one knows 'till that particular couple cross that bridge. And that's why so many men shy away from that journey. Especially if they're same-sex attracted men. For the shame over their attractions tend to burden them intrinsically. Not to mention having to deal with outside (normal) points of view (spouse / family) in respect to Full Disclosure.
On the flip side of this is the straight married man who runs headlong into illicit behavior unchecked, amassing years upon years of downright mind-blowing adulterous behavior (marathon / serial cheater). These are dual persona husbands / fathers who gravitate towards strip clubs, massage parlors, phone sex and porn as if they have two dicks to contend with.
When these men finally reach the end of the line with their tortured spouse / family, though they may beg / plead for mercy, everything related to those previous familial relations will be lost forever.
I've seen it with my own two eyes. Samson Society has delivered that fatalistic point of view to me on several occasions.
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